ageloc1515 Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 Hi, I just had a massive fight with my ex last Monday. My ex and I broke up officially about 3 years ago. We have been staying in contact 6 months later after our breakup. Despite the breakup, my ex admitted to me how his feelings for me didn’t fade even though we are separated. On last Monday, I somehow ‘hack’ through his phone and see his messages with another woman he started chatting with as I have a gut feeling that he didn’t tell me the full story. In the text messages, the girl has given some ‘hints’ that she has a feeling for my ex. My ex has told me how he didn’t have any interest in her. But it didn’t make me feel reassured as he said to me that it’s up to myself to decide on whether to believe in what he said. The argument came like this, it was about how I told him that he should start pursuing the woman he was chatting with. The self-harming words about my own life, my jealousy towards the woman he was talking with. About how I have to hold back my feelings for my ex since he wouldn’t show his feelings he has towards me in order not to give me false hope about getting back together and didn’t believe in his words about the text messages with the woman he was talking with. Every now and then during the argument about the feelings we have for each other and about the thoughts of getting back together, my ex would always bring up a specific incident that I have unintentionally hurt him in our relationship. During our relationship, I said something seriously hurtful to my ex, which my ex still remembers it till now. He told me how this incident will be hard for him to forget and haunt him forever in life. It also made him doubt me whether I will hurt him again by saying the same words or even worse. After the argument, I realize how horrible I was and tried to apologize to my ex via text messages. However, he was still angry and didn’t text me back much despite sending out many text messages on my apologies. I tried to call and ask to meet face-to-face with him to apologize, but he ignores it. My last text message to him was that I’m still here for him and willing to wait for him until he cools down. How long will he cool down and talk to me again? My greatest fear is for my ex to be with another woman and move on. I do love him and miss him. What should I do get that respect back, and how do I deal with my insecurity/ jealousy about him talking with other women even though knowing he still has feelings for me? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 What a mess. This could have all been avoided if you both communicated honestly but neither of you did. He was afraid of being hurt again which is understandable. You say one thing (telling him to pursue other women) then you snoop through his phone & pick a fight because he's talking to other women. Granted he hasn't been transparent with you about what he's doing or if he truly wants you but you haven't given him many reasons to trust you that you won't hurt him again. At this point your only hope is a hail Mary. You have to sit him down, profusely apologize for hurting him all those years ago then show your cards. You have to risk getting hurt. You have to be vulnerable & open up. You must point blank tell him that you made a mistake, you are sorry, you want another chance & that you do have feelings for him, despite what you have said & that you would like to put the past behind you & really work to make a relationship with him. He may not believe you but at least you will know you tried. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 I do love him and miss him. My ex and I broke up officially about 3 years ago. Something doesn't add up. Do you think he's been celibate for the last three years? You haven't had a relationship in all that time? It seems a little late for jealousy... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 (edited) Both of you should stop d*icking around with each other and get on with your lives. This sounds like a 3 year ego trip for both of you. Edited May 24, 2019 by Redhead14 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 Some people are just not meant to be in a relationship... I think that’s the case here. This relationship is unhealthy and you should both consider moving on... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts