David33 Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 I'm separated, divorce will be final 1/2020. She's married but says, "on paper only" because they didn't marry for emotional reasons, just out of convenience (don't ask) and she hasn't seen him for 9 years. Neither of us wants to remarry so the furthest this can go is FWB. Question, is this as weird as I think it is or should I just enjoy our time together for however long it lasts? Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 Neither of us wants to remarry so the furthest this can go is FWB. Huh? You can have a committed relationship without marrying..... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 Huh? You can have a committed relationship without marrying..... Of course, just not if she is married to another man. Legally and financially tied to another man, who may have a problem that his wife has “committed” to someone else... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 Of course, just not if she is married to another man. Legally and financially tied to another man, who may have a problem that his wife has “committed” to someone else... She hasn't seen him in 9 years. Definitely odd, but I know someone who did this....only she did keep seeing her husband when he came back into town (and stayed with her!) from his government job that required extensive travel. 10 years into her relationship with a new man, and a child, and they were still married. Super strange, but she was able to continue on a relationship despite their odd choice to never divorce. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author David33 Posted May 24, 2019 Author Share Posted May 24, 2019 Huh? You can have a committed relationship without marrying..... True, just that once I'm divorced she will still be married. She doesn't see a reason to get divorced if she's not getting remarried. We definitely have a difference in opinion what being married means. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 True, just that once I'm divorced she will still be married. She doesn't see a reason to get divorced if she's not getting remarried. We definitely have a difference in opinion what being married means. What's her reasoning? Any chance you'll have kids together? Because if you do, her husband may be on the birth certificate depending on where you live. This is what happened to my friend and when they went to buy a home it became a big issue....can't remember why....something to do with who was claiming him as a dependent..... Divorces are not difficult if both are in agreement and it's just paperwork. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 True, just that once I'm divorced she will still be married. She doesn't see a reason to get divorced if she's not getting remarried. We definitely have a difference in opinion what being married means. Well, I suppose whether you stay with this woman or not will depend on what you expect from the person you would chose to be your “life partner.” Personally, I would expect a lot more than she is offering... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Aloha123 Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 Do they have an open marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
Author David33 Posted May 25, 2019 Author Share Posted May 25, 2019 What's her reasoning? Any chance you'll have kids together? Because if you do, her husband may be on the birth certificate depending on where you live. This is what happened to my friend and when they went to buy a home it became a big issue....can't remember why....something to do with who was claiming him as a dependent..... Divorces are not difficult if both are in agreement and it's just paperwork. Definitely no kids, mine is grown, she never had / wanted any. Yikes, I am going to be buying a home next year. Thanks for the heads-up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author David33 Posted May 25, 2019 Author Share Posted May 25, 2019 Do they have an open marriage? Let's say the reason they got married is fulfilled and are not physically or emotionally connected. So I guess it's open by default. Link to post Share on other sites
Author David33 Posted May 25, 2019 Author Share Posted May 25, 2019 (edited) Do they have an open marriage? Not officially. Edited May 25, 2019 by David33 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 Not officially. Is he in prison? Link to post Share on other sites
Aloha123 Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 Let's say the reason they got married is fulfilled and are not physically or emotionally connected. So I guess it's open by default. Makes sense. I wonder if her husband shares a similar view. I'm not being facetious. He very well might. Link to post Share on other sites
TooBad Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 All this guessing here... and for what ? Ok, I'll play. They got married for either one of them to get a permanent visa. Link to post Share on other sites
Author David33 Posted June 1, 2019 Author Share Posted June 1, 2019 All this guessing here... and for what ? Ok, I'll play. They got married for either one of them to get a permanent visa. I would not deny this guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 True, just that once I'm divorced she will still be married. She doesn't see a reason to get divorced if she's not getting remarried. We definitely have a difference in opinion what being married means. the reason to get divorced is financial. she is financially responsible for whatever shenanigans he gets up to. like credit cards, loans and debt. maybe try to find out what he is up to financially. if she has his social security number and at the same time run her credit. good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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