Tagalz Posted May 28, 2019 Share Posted May 28, 2019 (edited) Hey! I know it's that time of the month were students have exams that they need to practise to. However my friend had already 2 exams last week and I thought he was totally done so I asked him to go out and watch John Wick. He said that he can't because he has 4 more exams left. since I don't go to the university I don't really know how the rules are with exams. My brother and my friend goes to the same university but they aren't studying the same so that doesn't help me, although my brother had 3 exams total. While my friend has a total of 6 exams I highly doubt it. I get the feeling that he's taking advantage of this month's exams for the sake of not meeting me. He did want to meet me this friday but I told him that I can't because I am working late and when I asked him the next tuesday he didn't give me a respond. My last word to him was: Just let me know when you're finish with all of you're exams. The question is: is he lying about the exams? Should I just trust him and wait until next friday when he's totally done? What would you have done if you were in my situation? Edited May 28, 2019 by Tagalz Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted May 28, 2019 Share Posted May 28, 2019 Why don't you just wait and see if he calls you after his 3 or 2 or 4 or 6 exams will definately be over? Are you having some fear that he has been avoiding you before this or something? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tagalz Posted May 28, 2019 Author Share Posted May 28, 2019 Why don't you just wait and see if he calls you after his 3 or 2 or 4 or 6 exams will definately be over? Are you having some fear that he has been avoiding you before this or something? Yes because we are good friends and it would hurt me if he suddenly without any explanation just avoids me Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 28, 2019 Share Posted May 28, 2019 I would find someone else to go see John Wick with and not bother the friend. Let him call you when he is free. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 28, 2019 Share Posted May 28, 2019 Yes because we are good friends and it would hurt me if he suddenly without any explanation just avoids me Why would he do this? If so, he isn't a very good friend. It pays to have more than one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted May 28, 2019 Share Posted May 28, 2019 If it's a ruse to avoid you, he isn't a safe bet for friendship anymore. We make time for people we want in our lives. And should you not hear from him, contact someone else and see if they'll go with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted May 28, 2019 Share Posted May 28, 2019 If he has 4 exams left then what he said makes sense. Heck even one chemistry or accounting exam would be enough for him to take a pass. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LenaRea Posted May 28, 2019 Share Posted May 28, 2019 It’s fully possible. I’ve had many courses that had chapter or section exams at the end of a semester, that covered smaller selections or the most recent material covered, then followed immediately by the semester final exam covering all of the material covered within that semester. So, yes. He could have had 2 class finals, followed by 4 semester finals if he were in 4 classes for example. But, seriously? If he’s a friend you should trust him. Unless you know of a reason why he might avoid you... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 Buddy, I am sorry to say this situation is not improving for you, noticing your threads over the last couple of months, you must A- do not contact him- wait for him to contact you B- do not fall out with him- just leave him be. C- Get out there join some club and make new acquaintances- it will not happen overnight but in a year or so things will be better. you mentioned barcelona before- could you join a Barcelona supporters club. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 Assuming most courses are 3 credits, if he has 6 exams, he's taking a heavy load of 18 credits. If he has some "easy" 1-2 credit classes it's entirely possible he has 6 exams. If this is the guy you always complain about maybe it's time to revisit this friendship. You always seem to think the worst about him. Seriously, why would he lie about the number of tests he has to take? If he was just blowing you off he'd give you a much lamer excuse. Why do you have such little faith in him or is this just a symptom of you overall insecurity? You couldn't meet him when he was free because you were working late. Does that give him the right to whine that you should have changed your work schedule for him if you really valued his friendship? Of course not. Chill out & try to remember that your friends' worlds don't revolve around you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 Yes because we are good friends and it would hurt me if he suddenly without any explanation just avoids me He gave you an explanation, but based on nothing I can see in your initial post, you suspect he is lying and avoiding. That is the kind of exhausting drama that might make him avoid you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tagalz Posted May 30, 2019 Author Share Posted May 30, 2019 That is the kind of exhausting drama that might make him avoid you. That’s a good reason but I think it’s more to that. He knows me well and maybe he thinks that my flaws are so big that he doesn’t want to be my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tagalz Posted May 30, 2019 Author Share Posted May 30, 2019 (edited) I’ve stalked him on the map in snapchat and I noticed that he isn’t at the school at all. The two times I checked he was at a mall and the last time he was in a park. I take this with a grain of salt because he might have went there after exams. I think I’m just going to wait until he calls me or sends a message since my last word was «let me know when you’re finish with everything» I’ve have been reading everyone’s respond to this situation and it is really complicated because I don’t really know if he’s lying or not. I think it’s only him that knows it but even so I just have to trust him. Edited May 30, 2019 by Tagalz Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 Really? You actually kept tabs on him via social media? What are you, his parent? You can't do stuff like that to people. Where he goes is actually none of your business. If you act like this IRL, that explains why he's avoiding you. Chill out. Develop more friends so you have other options when he's not available. Then it won't matter as much where he is or what he's doing. You will be too busy with your own life to notice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
catherine1 Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 I would give him the benefit of the doubt, unless he has made excuses in the past to avoid seeing you. I have been through a bachelors degree and I currently at the end of a masters degree, and I can tell you it is hard work. I haven’t seen my friends as often this year as my workload has been intense. It can cause you to miss out on a lot of things, so I would give him some space until this period in his life is over. Still keep in contact, but keep it light and fun. It can be a nice diversion from uni work, to have a laugh with a friend. In the meantime, keep yourself busy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tagalz Posted May 30, 2019 Author Share Posted May 30, 2019 If so, he isn't a very good friend. It pays to have more than one. It’s either that or he’s very stubborn. It’s typical for Serbian to be like that hahaha. Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 I taught college for more than 15 years and never heard of a student that had 6 exams, ever. Usually students take 4 classes, sometimes 5. he is stretching the truth. Ask him how many classes he is taking. There is only 1 final exam for a class. Some courses have no final exam. Maybe he just does not want to see that movie? Friends,family make all sorts of excuses and act nice rather than admit the truth. It's the old I'm too busy excuse. Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 Not to T/J but... "I'm too busy." May be considered an excuse, but it is also a valid, honest boundary. Even if that person doesn't have set plans, or could rearrange their schedule for someone else, doesn't mean they are or should feel obligated to. People need to take time to take care of their own stuff, have a right to see to their own hobbies, household business, etc. As a homeowner for example, going to do almost anything sometimes feels like I am shirking my own responsibilities to myself and household. But of course, you need to make some time for friends too, to keep them. I would be alarmed and cut out of my life any friend that was obsessing as to whether or not I was "really too busy" to see them on a given weekend. I accept without question (maybe occasional ribbing though) if they are busy on a weekend where I asked if they want to hang out. A further aside, I went to school half-time and once had four exams (but the were probably 2 cr classes for the most part). I have only ever had one class which did not have a final exam. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 "I would be alarmed and cut out of my life any friend that was obsessing as to whether or not I was "really too busy" to see them on a given weekend." I think your comment is a bit harsh, I tend to be more sympathetic towards Tagalz on the overall situation, however your comment is a good life lesson, it is always better not to become too dependent on any one friend, as it leads to obsessive behaviour which leads to the friend rejecting you as described by Oroko, I don't think anyone has actually said it, but of course your friend is "lying" re the exams, but its not really lies, it is an excuse, just fobbing you off, putting up a boundary , distancing himself from you, tbh I consider myself an expert on this particular issue. If you play it cool not bother your friend for a while, it is quite likely that you will become good pals again in a few months, so look get involved in a few sports clubs, get active, get out socialising, meet a nice girl and make this friend respect you more, that's what you have to do, the main thing now is building your own identity outside of him, I've no doubt your a good bloke Tagalz, chin up, its all ahead of you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted May 31, 2019 Share Posted May 31, 2019 I’ve stalked him on the map in snapchat and I noticed that he isn’t at the school at all. The two times I checked he was at a mall and the last time he was in a park. I'm sorry but your antics are bordering on obsession. Are you romantically crushing on your friend? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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