catherine1 Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 (edited) Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years, and have two Male friends who are a couple. I have been friends with one of these for over 9 years. I love all three dearly. My two friends have met my boyfriend before and all went well. However one night last year we all went into town and drank a fair bit! Me and boyfriend had a little argument over something silly, however one my gay male friends seemed to think my boyfriend said he was jealous of us two dancing. I can’t recall this, and was shocked to hear. My boyfriend has never shown a jealous streak and was previously laughing at me and my male friend dancing a few hours earlier. He always encourages me to see my friends and understands the relationship I have with these two friends in particular. My friend seems to have held a grudge, and said afterwards how it was weird, my boyfriend kept staring (my boyfriend was very drunk by this point and actually ended up falling asleep) Fast forward a few months, we all head out for new year. My same Male friend and boyfriend had conflicting views on what music to put on, which just added to my friends previous views on my boyfriend. I have kept them apart since then, my friend is being standoffish with me and I can sense it. My boyfriend is concerned that my two friends think he doesn’t like them. I don’t know what to do, as I’m worried about bringing them out together again. I don’t want to lose the relationship I have with my friends or my boyfriend, and just hope things can sort out. Edited May 30, 2019 by catherine1 Spelling error Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 When one (or in this case two) of your friends don't like your SO, it's a personality conflict, nothing more. Not everyone will get along. When all your close friends & family don't like your SO, then you need to take a step back & ask yourself what they see that you are missing. Here if there is a way to bring them together again for a short time without alcohol, that may help heal the rift. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 my only two cents on this is never let a new boyfriend (well ok its over 2 years) come between you and your original friends, always keep them there too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 You know, couple or not, there could be some envy and wishful thinking on the part of that friend of yours. Don't make allowances for the situation. Just enforce the normal expectation of politeness and if one crosses that boundary, call them out on it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 The one who is the most angry and upset is the jealous one. I think you need to shut it down. Sit your gay friend down and tell him that you love them both, but if forced to choose the person doing the forcing will be the loser. Tell him you want him to set the BS aside as a special favor to you. Also, show him by your actions when you're together that you and your boyfriend are thick as thieves and no one will be allowed to mess it up or disrespect him. Have you seen the movie ? If not you gotta see it. PS: I disagree that long-time friends should always be prioritized over boyfriends. It depends on the friend, the relationship and the circumstances. The bf could end up being your life partner. Siding with and irrational and destructive old friend could be a life-changing mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 PS: I disagree that long-time friends should always be prioritized over boyfriends. It depends on the friend, the relationship and the circumstances. The bf could end up being your life partner. Siding with and irrational and destructive old friend could be a life-changing mistake. Same here. I dated a not so great guy and my friends at the time didn't like him. The thing that really upset is the fact that my friends (ex friends now) started going behind my back talking about me and the guy. They never met him and we were long distance anyways. They got upset w/me and tried to make me feel guilty about dating. If he isn't abusing me or hurting anyone, who I date is my business. Who they date is also their business as well. Why do your friends crap on you if he makes you happy? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted June 5, 2019 Share Posted June 5, 2019 Alcohol also seems to double as a truth serum for some people. Anything and everything that's been bottled up will be brought up. But they're just going to set their personal dislike of each other and come to terms. That's about all I can suggest. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 It sounds like your friend has overreacted and really it's not his place to hold a grudge against your partner. He's your friend, and your partner is your partner. He has no real reason to be a prick about it. 'Wah, he apparently said he was jealous of us dancing even though no-one else heard him say that and waaah he doesn't like the music that I like' Really? He needs to get over it and be civil. As for 'don't ever let a boyfriend get between you and your friend', I would say bollocks to that. And how about vice versa? Don't let your friends stir trouble with your personal relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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