Robert Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 3 threads running on the same similar topic were merged into one for continuity. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 I've learned the hard way that you shouldn't go looking for something if you can't handle what you might find. Delete him from social media. And don't take this personally. This isn't about you. It's about him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GamineKitty Posted June 8, 2019 Author Share Posted June 8, 2019 (edited) I understand that my situation is a difficult one. The fact is, my ex and I were extremely close on something which exceeded the emotional level – and he would often tell me that the behaviour I’m currently observing (following our breakup) on his social media, was nothing but a “mask” he’d created. Naturally I can’t help but question: “is he back to this mask,” or “is he genuinely unbothered?” I do not use social media and I had reactivated for the purpose of a family member initially but all of his posts completely flooded my newsfeed like a hard smack in the face and I could not stop myself from reading. He is hanging around with the people he’d tell me he “hated” because they were shallow, he has a gathering of new women fawning over him, telling him he’s an “adorable drunk” (these women are the type he often stated he hated because they lacked “depth”.) It is utterly heartbreaking and confusing, to have seen only a slither of that. It’s definitely not as if he’s doing it to get my attention because, he knows I don’t use social media. What I saw was indescribably out of character for him. Like I mentioned, I feel this is a potential GiGs situation. Of course none of us know for certain, we can only all make speculations. But. Can anybody provide possible insight into the dumper’s thought process or behavioural process throughout the months, as I’m having trouble logically analysing? Edit: for additional info, as soon as he met me he stopped going to clubs and drinking, based on his own decision. He wanted to get serious. He scorned his former decisions and called them “dangerous , reckless mistakes.” He had been intend on changing them and constantly stated how better he felt in himself. Ever since he broke up with me (of what I gathered from his FB statuses) he has started drinking and going out again. Edited June 8, 2019 by GamineKitty Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 I think he’s just trying to get on with his life and is doing that by trying to be as busy and social as he can. Doesn’t mean he’s not feeling some hurt, but he’s 24. People are often still figuring out things at that age and don’t necessarily now how to best handle breakups and heartache. It’s hard for you but you need to start focusing less on why he is or isn’t acting a certain way and pay more attention to your own journey ahead. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 Elaine, I had exactly the same thought about 'clocking' him. I do love how language changes between countries 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 Pretty sure she meant “block” him 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 Thanks Blanco. Hubby and I were trying to think what else clocking someone would mean. Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 He might have sincerely believed what he was telling you at the time, or perhaps he was just telling you what he thought you wanted to hear. Either way, this is the lifestyle he really wants now. If he hasn't shown any signs of regret since the breakup, that pretty much confirms it. Nothing any of us can say will take the pain away. Whatever the truth is, it still results in the same pain for you. The only thing you can do is try a lessen it by avoiding his social media. Nothing good will come of it, only confusion, jealousy, and pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Grisha Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 (edited) Hey all, GK here again! <SNIP> 1. It took 2 days for her to reach out. And she’d reach out about something random every week or so but I never gave much care to them. 2. Yes I wanted her back. 3. I worked out harder, I had all the motivation in the world to improve in every way. 4. I spent time with friends, dated a little, stayed busy with work school gym. 5. After being broken up for 4 months I asked her out for a drink and she dropped her plans and met up with me 2 hours later... not only did I get my relationship back but she’s back a million times better because I showed her that I didn’t really care to be with her so my value in her eyes increased and at this rate I don’t see her ever leaving again. Edited June 9, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts