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I can see the light........


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:) I have been back and forth for the last 24 years debating whether or not leaving my emotionally abusive H was the right thing to do for me and the family. I stuck it out for the kids, for the fear of the unknown. Even though I was so tired of his tirades and circles he ran around me, the silent treatments when sex wasn't given, the eggshells I walked on with him thinking I may have "flirted" with someone, the questions and answers that didn't satisfy him. I have had enough - after 24 years, I am done.

 

We told our kids 2 days ago, he's been living elsewhere for the last 2 weeks. I think telling the kids was the hardest thing I could have ever done. I've played it back in my mind over and over, and I memorized what I was going to say to them to make him seem less the "victim" in all this. Funny thing is, that this serious macho controlling jealous person is nothing when he doesn't have someone to be jealous, or controlling of. It's like he's totally lost, it's not funny and I pray he finds some insight to moving on soon, as I have.

 

I can't believe how much at "peace" and harmony I'm at. I feel free to speak as I wish withouth being put down, I can look at anyone without being judged that I probably was flirting with them., I can laugh, tell jokes, sing to my hearts desire, can mess up our living room, can cook, if and when I please, and can keep the house either messy or clean it's my choice. I so miss this that doing it now, is such a thrill.

 

I know I'm headed for some rocky road, and that he will still be around in my kids lives, but he wont' be as intimidating and the eggs I walk on won't be shells anymore. I'm free - 24 years later - finally, I should have done this eons ago...........

 

~Stay strong.

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