Author PhoenixRising2018 Posted June 4, 2019 Author Share Posted June 4, 2019 I once broke up with a woman because she had ugly feet. That was the real reason but I told her that we were incompatible. Okay I know that was a serious reason to break up with her but I have to laugh that is hilarious ?. I also am very foot picky, and I hate pretty much all feet. In all seriousness set aside thank you for making me laugh I really needed that. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 Okay I know that was a serious reason to break up with her but I have to laugh that is hilarious ?. I also am very foot picky, and I hate pretty much all feet. In all seriousness set aside thank you for making me laugh I really needed that. :laugh:. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 I once broke up with a guy because he didn't clean his guinae pig cage and then covered the poor things up so I wouldn't see it. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 I once stopped seeing a woman because she was a poor kisser. Like high school Scooby Doo bad. And she was 35. I just couldn't... Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 (edited) Hey OP, I think the translation for what he meant was that you really are a good person and he can see that which is why he knows you deserves someone who will love you right. He knows he just isn't that guy because he doesn't feel it. You might be happy and satisfied, but he isn't. What the relationship offered him wasn't what he was looking for. He feels bad for hurting you and he takes blame for its end. There's always two ways to look at these things: 1. You can look at it as it was your fault and blame what you perceive were your shortcomings and the reason for him leaving. Keep him on a pedestal and long for him. OR 2. You can look at it as, you gave your best and were yourself and there wasn't much else you could do beyond that. He simply wanted something else and therefore he was never really going to stick in your life anyway. That's not a reflection on you because it takes two to tango and you're not solely responsible for the breakup. There are numerous factors out of your control that contribute to a person ending a relationship. Things going on in his life, his personal demons, his social influences and how he feels about himself and his own life etc. It's not just you. You don't want to stick around and be his friend. Trust me. You only want that because you still have feelings for him, but it will do you a huge disservice because you won't be able to get over him so long as he is still in your life. By staying and attempting to be friends, all you are telling him is even though he broke your heart and you're in pain, you need him in your life and you'll place your real needs behind keeping him in your life, whatever way you can. In the end, he'll see that you are willing to prioritize him over your well-being. That's going to devalue you in his eyes and will also teach him to not respect you either which will make him look down on you. You don't want that. Don't teach others to disrespect you by disrespecting yourself. He wanted to exit and that's fine but he doesn't get to keep you around. You have to mend your broken heart and move passed it and the only way you can do that is to get your space and grieve without him around. - Beach Edited June 4, 2019 by Beachead 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author PhoenixRising2018 Posted June 5, 2019 Author Share Posted June 5, 2019 (edited) You don't want to stick around and be his friend. Trust me. You only want that because you still have feelings for him, but it will do you a huge disservice because you won't be able to get over him so long as he is still in your life. By staying and attempting to be friends, all you are telling him is even though he broke your heart and you're in pain, you need him in your life and you'll place your real needs behind keeping him in your life, whatever way you can. In the end, he'll see that you are willing to prioritize him over your well-being. That's going to devalue you in his eyes and will also teach him to not respect you either which will make him look down on you. You don't want that. Don't teach others to disrespect you by disrespecting yourself. He wanted to exit and that's fine but he doesn't get to keep you around. You have to mend your broken heart and move passed it and the only way you can do that is to get your space and grieve without him around. - Beach Thank you for this, so far you have spoken the reality of the situation for me in a way I now understand or it's just I've taken time to process this. I have not messaged or called him since we hung up. I'm not going to chase or stalk him. I'm done chasing after men. If he feels differently someday he can contact me but I'm not putting my life on hold. Do I still hurt, yes as we spent a good 10 months dating and was planning on stepping into a new part of our relationship by moving closer to one another due to job situations. So this coming out of the blue hurts, I will mend and move on but I'm not going to ignore him if he texts me. I just am done making the first move, I've chase my fair share of men and it has never worked out so I'm stepping back and working on me. Edited June 6, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote edited 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 5, 2019 Share Posted June 5, 2019 Atta girl! (And I agree, Beachead nailed it!) Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted June 5, 2019 Share Posted June 5, 2019 (edited) Thank you for this, so far you have spoken the reality of the situation for me in a way I now understand or it's just I've taken time to process this. Np, though take this as advice for dealing with people in general. Learning how to say no, and being okay with walking away when something or someone is affecting your quality of life and well-being is one of the most valuable things I ever learned, from my own failures. Be strong for yourself and see your own worth and value and know that you also bring something great to the table as well. Best of luck to you and stay strong. - Beach Edited June 5, 2019 by Beachead 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted June 5, 2019 Share Posted June 5, 2019 I don't know your situation, of course, but I'd be willing to be heavily that there were signs that he was unhappy. There had to have been ways he was disengaged ... not paying attention to you ... overly secretive ... a little withdrawn ... going through the motions ... not complimenting ... being a little absent and distant in love-making ... Not offering spontaneous statements about how happy he was and how much he was enjoying you ... There were signs. Your challenge, your opportunity here to really grow, is to go back and figure out those signs. You missed the signs. There are ALWAYS signs. And you can learn to recognize the signs of dissatisfaction without being bitter and cynical. And when someone says they want to leave you ... trust them! That's not something people say casually ... not something people get a second opinion on ... and then say, "You know what?! I was completely wrong. I'm happy and want to stay with you." Sorry doesn't work that way. Perfect time to go to therapy and review this relationship (and others) ... to update your relationship somewhere. Nothing wrong or defective about you ... You probably need to be more demanding, ask for more ... and pay better attention to the subtle energy of other people. You can learn that. Link to post Share on other sites
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