Do men expect women to chase? If so why?

[surferchic]

Simply stated in the subject. I’m in a situation currently that I have this thought. Plus I’ve read several posts in here that lead me to believe that men want lots of solid PROOF that a woman is REALLY interested.

 

Do men really expect women to chase in order to feel like she’s worth an investment, etc?

[preraph]

Those are cowardly men. Is that who you're after? If so, go for it.

 

Now, as a moderate view, of course even a confident man would appreciate a smile in his direction and some friendly chat before he sticks his neck out and asks you out.

 

Those ones who need a guarantee are not ready to date. They need to work on themselves. They have anxiety problems. Dating is about seeing what the other person is like. No one is entitled to a guarantee you'll like them, especially if you've never even gone out yet.

[fromheart]

In my experience the signs that a woman likes me are usually very subtle. I find it enticing and very feminine.

 

It takes a relaxed man to feel this and act upon it. Usually at this point, you just have to open up a comfortable dialogue with her. Women love good communication, and its very important for her to know that you are not a threat in anyway.

 

The whole thing just involves being relaxed and confident really.

[surferchic]

Understood. @ both responses.

 

A cowardly man, I most definitely do NOT want. It’s never been my style to chase so I’ve never been that chic.

 

However, every now and then during a STAGE in relationships I notice that men sometimes expect a bit of chasing from the woman. Maybe it’s just reciprocal attention, but for me personally I’m a laid back woman. Even my communication style may be too laid back even... to the point where men will wonder if I even still care or was interested from the beginning. That’s different I suppose.

 

I guess balance is key.

[BaileyB]

Do men really expect women to chase? That hasn’t been my experience.

 

Do they want some indication and perhaps a little encouragement that their interest is wanted and will be well received - of course they do. Women want the same thing, when starting a relationship. I would say, with a few subtle hints, if a man is really interested he will step up and make his interest known...

[alphamale]

girls have been "chasing" me since I was 13, i'm used to it

[Els]

I only have one man's POV, but no. H liked that I reciprocated, but he wouldn't have liked it if I chased.

 

 

 

I'm sure it varies depending on the individual.

[olivetree]

In my experience, and those of my friends, most men like to do the chasing, and they value you more when they do.

Only when it's sincere though and not a woman playing hard to get or following any rules.

[Gretchen12]

Someone who expects the other one to chase, is not really ready for a relationship. That goes for both men and women. Typically the guy who wants the woman to chase is looking for attention, validation, to feel attractive, wanted. He is looking to receive, not give. He could be trying to get over being dumped, or he could have been single and lonely for too long. In both cases, their objective is to sooth the ego. Such a person is not relationship minded. It's more about a need that's being satisfied. Even if he says he wants a relationship, he only wants it because others have it and because of how it makes him feel about himself. When it's more balanced and both man and woman put in effort and both take some risks, you have something more real going forward.

[Fekenaws]

Most adult men will throw a line out (like suggesting to hang out) or a very blatant gesture/statement of interest. If a girl doesn't react immediately positive to those then I immediately assume she isn't interested, irrelevant if she was just nervous or not.

[thefooloftheyear]

To say men that don't chase are cowards is absolute horse shyt…

 

It could be a lot of things...Shyness, aloofness, etc....It has zero to do with what type of character he is or whether or not he's "brave enough"...

 

Think of it this way....If a guy gets a lot of female attention, why would he be a "chaser".?? He is used to them doing all the heavy lifting...so the urgency is never really there..

 

I think this nonsense about women not doing any pursuing is only hurting themselves....You could be losing out on opportunities..If its not in your nature to do so, fine, but then don't complain....

 

TFY

[Shining One]

In my ideal relationships, there has been little to no chasing from either party. Both are expressing interest freely and there is little doubt where they stand in each other's eyes. If a woman has to chase me, then I almost certainly don't want to be with her. After all, why I would run from someone I want?

[ChatroomHero]

If by chase you mean put in more than a nominal effort, yes.

 

I think when a man "chases", it means he jumps through hoops, begs a little for your attention, has to prove himself to you, has to take actions to impress you...all of that because he deems you attractive and possibly knows little else about you.

 

As I get older, I don't "chase" as much and I expect mutual effort. I have found over the years that for any woman I find that is the "one" for me attraction-wise, I interact with someone else just as attractive fairly often. I chase less because I have found that a woman being really hot is not uncommon and not that special. I need her to show me what she has to offer other than a pretty face.

 

So in that respect if you are asking if she needs to show interest and display her assets outside of her face and body, yes I do expect her to put effort into doing so. The fact of the matter is I have other options so if one is making me jump through hoops with very little in return, I'd just as soon spend that time with someone else that is adult enough not to think being coy or playing games is a worthwhile effort, instead I want someone that's not afraid to be a bit straightforward and show me if she is worth the chase to begin with.

[Els]

In my ideal relationships, there has been little to no chasing from either party. Both are expressing interest freely and there is little doubt where they stand in each other's eyes. If a woman has to chase me, then I almost certainly don't want to be with her. After all, why I would run from someone I want?

 

 

Probably different definitions of "chase". I've never defined that as "running after someone who's running away from you", but rather just taking the initiative.

 

 

If someone is running away, the smart thing to do is certainly to let them!

[alphamale]

Think of it this way....If a guy gets a lot of female attention, why would he be a "chaser".?? He is used to them doing all the heavy lifting...so the urgency is never really there..

 

indeed tfoty, I just kick back and let them come to me

[preraph]

Alphamale, don't you ever see someone who isn't coming to you and think she's interesting and go up to her instead of waiting?

[alphamale]

Alphamale, don't you ever see someone who isn't coming to you and think she's interesting and go up to her instead of waiting?

 

yes I will do that sometimes if she intrigues me

[Happy Lemming]

Those are cowardly men.

 

100% Agree... If a woman catches my eye, I'll attempt to talk to her, chit chat a bit and ask her out for a drink. If she says "No, thank you"; I'll drop it and move onto the next person.

 

What is there to be scared of?? The worst that can happen is she is rude and tells you to go F*** OFF. Which (in my experience) is extremely rare.

[surferchic]

girls have been "chasing" me since I was 13, i'm used to it

 

Yeah ok... ;-)

[Lotsgoingon]

but for me personally I’m a laid back woman. Even my communication style may be too laid back even... to the point where men will wonder if I even still care or was interested from the beginning. That’s different I suppose.

 

I guess balance is key.

 

Uh ... if you can't communicate through enthusiasm that you are really interested in the guy, I seriously question whether you are interested in the guy. Are you sure you're interested in these guys with whom you are so laid-back?

[alphamale]

100% Agree... If a woman catches my eye, I'll attempt to talk to her, chit chat a bit and ask her out for a drink. If she says "No, thank you"; I'll drop it and move onto the next person.

 

What is there to be scared of?? The worst that can happen is she is rude and tells you to go F*** OFF. Which (in my experience) is extremely rare.

 

its all about extended eye contact and a smile HL, that is the green light

[Curiousroxy86]

*squints eyes* what is this chase you speak of? I don’t speak that...

[Grey40]

We don’t expect women to chase. Women want to chase. They say thy don’t, but they do actually enjoy it when they really like the guy. And for us guys, it’s just way easier when that happens.

 

If the guy does everything right and the women is into him, she’ll chase to some extent. By chase, we’re not talking games here though, guys who give silent treatment expecting the girl to run them down, that’s not chasing that’s either PUa BS or disinterest.

 

But after the guy initiates, has a good conversation, gets the number and tries to set up a date, if the girl is really interested, she’ll do some level of pursuing..either by initating texts, being active on your social media etc. she will leave the hints. If you fail to recognize those, then she’ll fall off.

[Happy Lemming]

its all about extended eye contact and a smile HL, that is the green light

 

Lack of either one has never stopped me. I'm not rude or pushy. If they say "No, Thank you" or "I already have a boyfriend" then I just walk away.

[stillafool]

Understood. @ both responses.

 

A cowardly man, I most definitely do NOT want. It’s never been my style to chase so I’ve never been that chic.

 

However, every now and then during a STAGE in relationships I notice that men sometimes expect a bit of chasing from the woman. Maybe it’s just reciprocal attention, but for me personally I’m a laid back woman. Even my communication style may be too laid back even... to the point where men will wonder if I even still care or was interested from the beginning. That’s different I suppose.

 

I guess balance is key.

 

I think you're right and when reading your post you remind me a lot of myself. I've had guys get pissed because I wasn't jealous enough. They think being jealous is a part of being a female and if you aren't interrogating them you don't care. I'm laid back also to the point of being lazy:laugh: so I could never muster up the energy to chase anyone.