"Is my ex interested?" Guide

[Fekenaws]

I didn’t mean this to be a definitive “end-all-be-all” guide, but instead, as way of helping individuals hoping to get their exes back by keeping their expectations in check, as well as helping them be aware of what to look for.

 

1. Body language:

 

The most important indicator of interest. The popular bit of advice to “watch people’s actions, not what they say” is 100% accurate. Your ex may talk a caring and hope instilling game, but how they act in your presence is the only thing that matters. Here is a brief list of signs to look for that indicate interest, as well as a brief list of signs that indicate lack of interest.

 

Interested Body Language:

 

• Locked eye contact
  
• Dilated Pupils
  
• Playing with hair or jewelry
  
• Body pointed toward you
  
• Leaned forward in their seat
  
• Playful touching
  
• Greeting and Goodbye hugs
  
• Lingering in your presence when the hangout is over
  

 

Uninterested Body Language:

 

• Wandering gaze
  
• Contracted pupils
  
• Completely calm
  
• Body pointed away from you
  
• Leaned back in their seat
  
• Hands to themselves
  
• No hugs
  
• Leaving abruptly when the hangout is over
  

 

2. Phone Calls/Facetime/Skype/etc:

 

In the modern era, no one likes making phone calls. This is part of why it’s an important indicator of interest. If your ex is calling you to talk/FaceTime/Skype/etc, he or she likely wants to hear your voice and have an actual conversation with you, as opposed to texting where the conversation moves at their leisure.

 

3. Texting/Facebook Messenger/Whatsapp Chat/Post Cards/etc.

 

This is the hit but mostly miss territory. Texting is the primary conversation method of almost everyone these days. It’s not as strenuous as talking to someone on the phone or in person, you can move at your own pace, start it at the drop of a feather, leave the conversation whenever you want, and give yourself a long time in between answers just living life. For all of these wonderful reasons, texting does not tend to be a good gauge of your ex’s interest. They could simply be bored, nostalgic, or have you pop into their head for a moment and decide to shoot you a text. Then, after you answer, they can just as abruptly end the conversation and leave you scratching your head, or worse still, send you into a tailspin. Not to mention, casual texts such as “Merry Christmas!” or “Happy Birthday!” are easy ways for your ex to reach out in a non-meaningful way. Even more so in the FaceBook era where it tells you whenever your ex’s birthday is.

 

4. Facebook/Instagram Likes/Snapchat Views, and any indirect method of communication, such as FaceBook Comments:

 

These all mean nothing, there is no hidden depth here. For your ex, it’s as simple as tapping a button, then they keep on scrolling to the next bit of content they like. I can hear it now “Well, why did my ex like my selfie then?? He/she must’ve thought I looked pretty good!” My answer to that is: yeah, they probably did. How many other people did they also like on Instagram that day? Finding you attractive doesn’t matter if they aren’t emotionally invested or available anymore. Furthermore, some exes use likes as an “olive branch” to show you that they don’t hate you, and that’s all it is. A friendly gesture.

 

 

 

Personal opinions and disclaimer:

 

As I’ve said in other forum posts, my personal belief is that once it’s over, it’s usually over. The exes that tend to get back together, in my experience, have been dating for a long time and caught cold feet, or “broke up” in a heat of the moment. Even then, most break ups are permanent.

 

For those reading this and wondering if you should be friends with your ex now that they have lost interest, my personal opinion is no. The dumper tends to hold power over the dumpee emotionally, and power imbalances don’t work out well within the confines of a friendship. This is especially true during the beginning of “post-breakup cycle.”

 

Can you be friends with them in the future? Absolutely, it’s possible. This tends to be the case if you both move on to other relationships/breakups and actually are both over each other. The problem is, usually by that point the reason you wanted to remain friends will likely be a distant memory/feeling.

[alphamale]

this is all common knowledge fakenews

[alphamale]

and why would anyone want to hook back up with an ex?