elaine567 Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 If he doesn't like you, some guys will act cheap Is that "cheap" or just sensible? Link to post Share on other sites
frus69 Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Is that "cheap" or just sensible? To me, if he cares about 7 bucks then it's cheap. Or he's broke. Same applies to women. No gender bias here. To others it maybe ok. But I don't care what others think. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 I kinda suspect that she wouldn't come back because there is a general lack of support. If there was one response on "her" side, that's the one she'd acknowledge. Kinda like going to 10 doctors until you get the diagnosis you want, not the right one. Yeah you're right. I've seen her come back sometimes when people are agreeing with whatever the "defectives" of her most recent guy dilemma is. But when it's leaning the other way, she just starts a new thread about some other guy....as she did right after this thread :roll eyes: well at least this has turned into a energizing debate over alpha/beta and everything in between, lol, just kidding. OP, really probably should not be the one throwing around labels on guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Coffee only costs what like $7.00??? Seriously, what he can’t afford that? That’s pathetic on his end... 100% Agree... If you are a man and you decide you want to go on a date, budget (at minimum) $50 for the first date. If you can't afford that, then you can't date. Period. I would have loved to get away with a $7.00 first date/meetup. Buying her coffee or at least offering to buy her coffee is the bare minimum, he should have done. On this aspect, I give him a "fail". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 None of those "issues" should be deal breakers. If you liked him, why can't you text him? If he doesn't text back, you'll have your answer. Then, it's a simple "swipe left." Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 I thought I was supposed to follow the woman to a table. Or am I only talking about restaurants where the host takes you to a table? OK, Panera's is seat yourself ... so yeah, I guess I can see how indecisive it seems if I didn't pick a table ... I think I'd look for a table that looks right ... some privacy ... a place I like ... and as I'm heading to the table, I think I check in with my date ... This is one of those actions where I really don't want to think much ... just do in the moment. Some decisions truly are so dumb and inconsequential that overly discussing them becomes an awkward, colossal waste of time and energy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Would a man pay anyway if he realised it was a no go almost from the first second? Is he a "beta" weak guy, or just a guy not willing to waste his hard earned cash? Exactly , it's very simple. As soon as you met he wasn't interested straight of the bat, and that was that, sorry but it happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Exactly , it's very simple. As soon as you met he wasn't interested straight of the bat, and that was that, sorry but it happens. You make a good point, but its still just 7 bucks. You can barely get 2 gallons of gasoline for $7.00. Even if he didn't like her from the first second he saw "mortensorchid", common courtesy would have been to spend the $7.00 and buy her a cup of coffee. I'll be the first to admit that I'm cheap, but I'm not that cheap. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 I'll be the first to admit that I'm cheap, but I'm not that cheap. I like to spend money on girls, its one of my more endearing qualities 4 Link to post Share on other sites
frus69 Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 ^^ I like to spend money on my loved ones, whether it's bf, friends or my parents. Im generous and I have zero tolerance towards cheap men lol I automatically think they are losers. I dont care how they justify themselves.:lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Curiousroxy86 Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 I personally don’t often use the term alpha vs beta however... generally speaking women are attracted to masculinity just like men (generally speaking) are attracted to femininity we all have different views on what masculine versus feminine means there are things that both genders find universally attractive And of course we have our own specific tastes individually many people over value some characteristics they find attractive thats not as important to long term and undervalue others that are important to long term which is a common dating issue that both genders share it is attractive to a woman that a man is confident, pursues, pays (atleast first few dates), plans, protects, etc however just like men women also over value characteristics they find attractive (in their case characteristics that are considered masculine again generally speaking) but either overlook things that could be important to long term relationships or overlook negative things in a guy we are attracted to but should not overlook a woman may totally write a guy off because he didnt make a plan for a date. is it wrong to want a guy to plan? no. but it also can be considered silly to totally write off a guy on things that seem minor . he could have made a great boyfriend/husband. a woman who likes a guy who plans and take charge is sexy but she may overlook that he is rude to other people like the waiter and eventually will be rude to her. is it wrong to find a guy that takes charge and plans sexy. no. the misstep is overlooking the fact that he is a rude person yet not write him off for it. it happens. men do the same things too. we all have our own ideas of what is important and what is not and even the things we know is not really important we still get caught up in what we find attractive. when we are faced with something thats unattractive about a person we can either let the entire person go or we can try to adjust/make compromises on our end to see if we can accept. in the case for mortens guy I would be turned off if he offered a first date at Paneras but I wouldnt hold it against him and instead would have attempted to do a counter offer and ask to meet for drinks somewhere sexier instead. if he wouldnt have paid I would be more so turned off. if it was a pain to have conversation even more so to the point that I probably wouldn’t want to see the guy again depending. I think many women would be just as turned off. despite her criticisms she was still open to dating him again so its not like she written him off completely. but honestly the guy didnt seem to be all that into her based on his actions. I felt like that one adjustment of offering a better date setting could have changed the whole tone of the date imo to aid her in having the option to see him again. if she wanted the option to see him again. how Morten feels about this guy internally doesnt necessarily concern me. those things I mentioned are turn offs no matter how you slice it. However my concern for Morten is how she comes across to guys on dates because she might be so wrapped up in her internal criticisms that it may read on her face and body language. if she can just let go, be open, positive, flirty, roll with the punches, be in the moment, and exude some sexiness I think she would have better results. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 ...48 Hours and counting... So the date was Friday night... here it is Tuesday afternoon/evening, have you heard from him?? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 I personally don’t often use the term alpha vs beta however... it's called the alpha-beta spectrum So the date was Friday night... here it is Tuesday afternoon/evening, have you heard from him?? yea what happened?? Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 However my concern for Morten is how she comes across to guys on dates because she might be so wrapped up in her internal criticisms that it may read on her face and body language. if she can just let go, be open, positive, flirty, roll with the punches, be in the moment, and exude some sexiness I think she would have better results. Ya think? Lol, yes totally agree CuriousR, it's a for sure. Body language is 70-80% of communication. With all these negatives and poor belief system running around in her head as shown on her threads, there is no way it's being hidden from whichever guy she is on a date with or talking to. It's seeping out big time. It's a big ask to go all the way over to bolded above but even neutral and open would be better than what she has going. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SmartDude Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 many people over value some characteristics they find attractive thats not as important to long term and undervalue others that are important to long term which is a common dating issue that both genders share it is attractive to a woman that a man is confident, pursues, pays (atleast first few dates), plans, protects, etc however just like men women also over value characteristics they find attractive (in their case characteristics that are considered masculine again generally speaking) but either overlook things that could be important to long term relationships or overlook negative things in a guy we are attracted to but should not overlook a woman may totally write a guy off because he didnt make a plan for a date. is it wrong to want a guy to plan? no. but it also can be considered silly to totally write off a guy on things that seem minor . he could have made a great boyfriend/husband. Profound statement, I see this everywhere. Men are often judged by their superficial "dating skills" or how confident they are in a social conversation at a first meeting. Can't think of a worse way to choose a guy who actually has something going on! And then there is other false crap to deal with on top of that. Like there is this saying that if a guy is really into you he will make it known. That is complete BS, sorry life is not always so smooth. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 Her demeanor and attitude seem rigid, cold, analytical to me. Maybe C3PO is looking for a date . . . Link to post Share on other sites
Interstellar Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 (edited) If you don't want to date a beta dude, you should cancel the moment any guys suggests Panera. No self-respecting man wants to eat there. Their spinach, avocado, tomato breakfast sandwich is legit healthy, and their soufflé is tasty. And you’re not physically attracted to this guy, OP. The guy’s not s gentleman either, accdg. To you It is what it is. Edited June 12, 2019 by Interstellar Link to post Share on other sites
SmartDude Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 Hmm just thought of something though. OP this does not reflect on you, just making a general observation. If I had a woman who was nice but was a stickler for all the rules..I would take her to Panera. It would be like a test to see if she becomes a self-righteous biotch or not. If she was cool at Panera that would mean she likes me and that we are good for a 2nd date! Link to post Share on other sites
Curiousroxy86 Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 And then there is other false crap to deal with on top of that. Like there is this saying that if a guy is really into you he will make it known. That is complete BS, sorry life is not always so smooth. I believe it but it deserves context for me it goes off the premise to believe a mans actions...over time of course. guys that like you may differ in their specific actions but its normally some verifiable consistent signs he may or may not out right say he likes you, but if he is putting in time and effort? he is contacting you, getting to know you, spending time with you, being nice and respectful towards you...yea he could be faking...but faking doesnt last for very long unless he is a calculating sociopath lol. most toxic people show their red flags early on. its the rose colored love (more like lust but actually just chemicals) blinded and attracted individual that overlooks them unfortunately you got girls who want to believe that a guy likes her just because he told her once yet he goes MIA, flakes, is distant, mean, doesnt contact her, doesnt spend time with her...the phrase if he likes you he will make it known would be BS by this example because he is giving words that dont match his actions. so in my opinion that phrase he will make it known is better supported by if he likes you he will show you (consistently over time) Link to post Share on other sites
OnlyHonesty Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 All of this is strange because in one of her other posts, she described herself as ''too old to attract anyone anymore''. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 All of this is strange because in one of her other posts, she described herself as ''too old to attract anyone anymore''. Her thread history suggests to me that she has a little bit of, what I call, an "Eeyore complex" -- anhedonic. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 anhedonic. I learned a new word today! Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mortensorchid Posted June 12, 2019 Author Share Posted June 12, 2019 Nope, it's Wednesday afternoon. Never heard a word from him again. Next. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 ^^^ In my youth, I would often call on Wednesday to make a date for Saturday night. Maybe the guy is just "old school" and will call tonight to schedule the next date. Don't give up hope, just yet. Link to post Share on other sites
greymatter Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 It didn’t seem like the first meeting went well for either of you. I’m curious if you smiled at him at any point including when you initially saw each other. I’m asking because you’ve posted that you’ve been told you never smile. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts