Should I finally admit defeat to save myself?

[Faithornot7890]

I'm in love with my bf and I know he is too for many years. He wants to live with me now but I've had concerns about if I can rely on him to pay me a share of the household expenses. I want to trust him but based on his track record, I get very worried. While how his handles his money should not be my concern or worry, I believe once you live with someone you are tied into them financially.

 

Things that make me take a step back include him spending more than he needs to (although he pays his bills on time), which prevents him from putting more money away if he should need it. He doesn't think it's that important - am I being paranoid thinking it's because he believes I'll step up to the plate and help him if he needs $?

 

I've always wondered if I am being used somehow b/c I am financially well established, even though I believe he loves me. He'll tell me he loves me but first he respects me because of my "success" - is that telling?

 

Do I give up after hanging in there with him all these years? We have a great time together but I must admit, sometimes what he does really upsets me and is disturbing on many levels. We talk about it and he ends up yelling at me for "suspecting him" doing something wrong.

 

when I tell him I don't trust him financially, he says if need be, we can continue to live separate but I don't think that's what I want for the rest of my life, and I'm fairly certain he will tire of that too and put pressure on me at some point in the future. He also says if I want to know something all I need to do is ask even though he knows I do find out some information without him telling me (which I've never been proud of but felt the need to do so to protect myself) - but the answers he gives are not always accurate or responsive - only sometimes.

Edited June 8, 2019 by Faithornot7890

[TooBad]

Unless you want to expand on his 'track record' I think you are being paranoid and assuming thing based on non-existing stuff rather than existing stuff.

 

 

He pays his bills on time. The fact that he spends more than he needs to, I can call 'living'. As long as he doesn't make debts, it's not your concern. Chances are that if he actually needs the money for something, his spending habit changes.