Reboot123 Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 Was in a relationship with her for 3 years, in the end, she left. I ultimately gave her the breakup, didn't beg, wasn't ever rude to her, kept my cool, although the whole process has forever changed me (for the better). It's pain that is now turning into a scar. After 3 months NC she unfriended me from Facebook and Instagram. Now she has deactivated all her social media.
d0nnivain Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 No, she just finally fully implemented NC. If you were still connected on social media you weren't NC because you still had windows into each other's lives. She also probably didn't deactivate her accounts; she just blocked you from seeing them or popping up in hers. As much as that move pains you, it is for the best Move forward with your own healing. Best wishes.
Author Reboot123 Posted June 9, 2019 Author Posted June 9, 2019 Nope, she definitely hasn't blocked me. I'm trying to see things from a girl's perspective here. Deleting me doesn't make sense; it's more of an impulse move, especially if she's going to delete the whole account anyway.
d0nnivain Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 She is make it definitive. She's done & wants you fully out of her life. She's an EX She's been an EX for 3 months. Why she does anything is no longer your concern. Take this as the final nail in the coffin of your relationship & move on. You are each other's past. Act like it.
Author Reboot123 Posted June 9, 2019 Author Posted June 9, 2019 Thanks for your advice mate, I'd love some insight from females
ExpatInItaly Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 Thanks for your advice mate, I'd love some insight from females d0nnvain is a woman, OP. I am too, and I agree wholeheartedly with what she said. 2
Author Reboot123 Posted June 9, 2019 Author Posted June 9, 2019 I'm all for NC. I'm not 'stuck in the past', I'm moving on and improving every day. There's been no blocking. Why would you unfriend (as a sign of moving on, I get that - you still want to continue with your life) but then proceed to delete all your social media networks anyway? That shows that there's some kind of contradictory psychological battle going on here - that was the aim of my thread - to tap into that.
Author Reboot123 Posted June 9, 2019 Author Posted June 9, 2019 How do you KNOW she definitely hasn't blocked you? Because it's super easy to check that
ExpatInItaly Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 I'm all for NC. I'm not 'stuck in the past', I'm moving on and improving every day. There's been no blocking. Why would you unfriend (as a sign of moving on, I get that - you still want to continue with your life) but then proceed to delete all your social media networks anyway? That shows that there's some kind of contradictory psychological battle going on here - that was the aim of my thread - to tap into that. Where are you getting all that from? Perhaps she's opened new ones you are not privy too. Look, I know you're grasping at straws because you hope this means she is harboring regrets or something, but the truth is that you have no idea what's going on in her life these days and what might have led to the deletion. It very likely has nothing to do with you. 2
elaine567 Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 Because it's super easy to check that Yes, but it takes work and a degree of sneakiness. That may be your answer as to why she has gone dark on you... 1
Author Reboot123 Posted June 9, 2019 Author Posted June 9, 2019 Where are you getting all that from? Perhaps she's opened new ones you are not privy too. Look, I know you're grasping at straws because you hope this means she is harboring regrets or something, but the truth is that you have no idea what's going on in her life these days and what might have led to the deletion. It very likely has nothing to do with you. Absolutely. It's all part of the journey and I have no idea what's going on! Which is why I made this thread
ExpatInItaly Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 Absolutely. It's all part of the journey and I have no idea what's going on! Which is why I made this thread Assume you will never know the real reason, and carry on as normal. Accept this as your final confirmation that it's over and won't be coming back together.
Author Reboot123 Posted June 9, 2019 Author Posted June 9, 2019 Assume you will never know the real reason, and carry on as normal. Accept this as your final confirmation that it's over and won't be coming back together. Yep. Deactivation is a pretty epic move, I did it a few years back because of a previous ex when I was in a hell of a lot of pain
ExpatInItaly Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 Yep. Deactivation is a pretty epic move, I did it a few years back because of a previous ex when I was in a hell of a lot of pain This explains why you're projecting now, at least. 2
Rayce Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 I'm all for NC. I'm not 'stuck in the past', I'm moving on and improving every day. There's been no blocking. Why would you unfriend (as a sign of moving on, I get that - you still want to continue with your life) but then proceed to delete all your social media networks anyway? That shows that there's some kind of contradictory psychological battle going on here - that was the aim of my thread - to tap into that. It's because the pain is too much to bear. I'm 7 months out in deactivating all my social media. I did it because of the PAIN... when I think about logging back in I still feel the PAIN... That's why I did it
ExpatInItaly Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 It's because the pain is too much to bear. I'm 7 months out in deactivating all my social media. I did it because of the PAIN... when I think about logging back in I still feel the PAIN... That's why I did it Are you the dumper, Rayce?
elaine567 Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 As she dumped you then I guess pain is not the motivating factor for shutting you out. Dumpers tend to not be that upset, it is the dumpee who is the upset one.
Rayce Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 I'm not sure what happened.... but I am the one that initiated NC after I saw something on fb that hurt me deeply. You would have to read my 1st post if you want that story. The experience left me distrusting anyone and everyone on the internet. It was one catfish experience too many.
Redhead14 Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 She doesn't want any reminders of the past and/or now has a new boyfriend and wants to start fresh. Blocking and deleting and no contact are about moving forward and not making an opportunities for being pulled backward emotionally, etc., not a tool of manipulation or spite. It took her a while, that's all. Bottom line really is though that you don't know why she did it and are thinking it's about you. It may have nothing to do with you. It doesn't matter what she does. What matters is YOU and your life and moving forward yourself. Start doing that today. Life is too short to waste any of it on mind-Fing yourself. 2
Author Reboot123 Posted June 9, 2019 Author Posted June 9, 2019 It's because the pain is too much to bear. I'm 7 months out in deactivating all my social media. I did it because of the PAIN... when I think about logging back in I still feel the PAIN... That's why I did it Yeah, that makes sense. Do you think you will ever reactivate once you are healed? I say this because you will definitely heal And when that happens, you will be stronger than ever, the best version of yourself. Bottom line really is though that you don't know why she did it and are thinking it's about you. It may have nothing to do with you. It doesn't matter what she does. What matters is YOU and your life and moving forward yourself. Start doing that today. Life is too short to waste any of it on mind-Fing yourself. Wholeheartedly agree with you, great advice there. We sure are complex beings..
Art_Critic Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 If she does reactivate it you won't be on her friends list, the fact she defriended you is all you need, the rest is just her living her life and moving on. I have friends who on occasion just deactivate their FB as it gets old sometimes, FB can be hard on the self esteem if someone takes what is posted too seriously.. Go out and date others, this relationship is toast right now.. grow from this relationship and take what you learned and give it to your next GF.. that is what life/dating is all about... Good Luck...
Rayce Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 I don't know if I will ever reactivate it again. I might try other social media as it comes out but I don't know if I will ever go back to fb. Funny thing is that I woke up this morning thinking about this very subject but I'm so screwed up in my head... it's convinced me that you are my xMM lol.... So... yeah I'm not sure when I will be healed if ever. He hurt me at a core level and social media is so fake.
d0nnivain Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 I don't get deactivating social media because of one relationship. Why would you cut yourself off from everybody else, just because one person hurt you? That seems like cutting off your nose despite your face to me. Even if I broke up with somebody I would still want to see my friends & what's going on in their lives, especially the ones who are far away. Why deprive yourself of that just because you had a painful break up? The other people in your life should be a source of strength at that point.
Author Reboot123 Posted June 9, 2019 Author Posted June 9, 2019 (edited) I don't know if I will ever reactivate it again. I might try other social media as it comes out but I don't know if I will ever go back to fb. Funny thing is that I woke up this morning thinking about this very subject but I'm so screwed up in my head... it's convinced me that you are my xMM lol.... So... yeah I'm not sure when I will be healed if ever. He hurt me at a core level and social media is so fake. Yeah! I guess that's why they call it the art of letting go... I don't get deactivating social media because of one relationship. Why would you cut yourself off from everybody else, just because one person hurt you? That seems like cutting off your nose despite your face to me. Even if I broke up with somebody I would still want to see my friends & what's going on in their lives, especially the ones who are far away. Why deprive yourself of that just because you had a painful break up? The other people in your life should be a source of strength at that point. Exactly my point. Social media is dangerous, one should never take it too seriously. But you're right on the money, the people around you, your circle, make you strong. Social media is just a reverberation of that, another output of their existence in your life. It's powerful because it brings something that otherwise cannot be touched, only felt, into reality. Edited June 9, 2019 by Reboot123
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