“Signs of being friendzoned” - Useful?

[Tom1233]

Hey guys,

 

So I am normally not really into writing in forums but I am a 19 year old male going to university and just recently I saw an article about “10 Signs of being friendzoned” and I kept on reading multiple other articles about this topic. And after reading I was asking myself two questions.

 

Does an actual friendzone exist? And are these signs even reliable/useful?

 

My opinion:Let’s look at some signs of being friendzoned that I still remember because I completely disagreed.

 

“She doesn’t answer your texts when she is out with friends or at work”

I am sorry but don’t people have a life outside of their phones? Do I have to expect that someone who likes me answers me 24/7 every second of the day? I myself use my phone a lot but sometimes when a girl I am interested in texts me while I am out with friends I don’t answer her because I don’t wanna be rude towards my friends but I also wanna carefully think about what I text.

 

“She feels too comfortable around you”

I kind of have to agree with this one but since I still go to university and live in residence, this sign is also somewhat not reliable. I would see a girl (who I think likes me) around a lot and I would stop by at her room once in a while and she would wear sweatpants and like an old t shirt. Then we would just do whatever, cuddle, watch netflix, etc... So now I am friendzoned bc she is too comfortable around me? Is she supposed to change into a dress?

 

These are just two examples on why I think there is not really a way to indicate being in the friendzone. It is more or less a “feeling” you get whether you are friendzoned or not. Does it feel like she is being comfortable as a friend? Or because that’s just how the situation is right now?

 

Greetings, Tom

Edited June 10, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Move to GRD and fix spacing/formatting

[elaine567]

- I myself use my phone a lot but sometimes when a girl I am interested in texts me while I am out with friends I don’t answer her because I don’t wanna be rude towards my friends but I also wanna carefully think about what I text.

- Bad mistake, you are prioritising your friends, many women will not like that. They will see you as rude and write you off. Friends can do that, potential lovers need to show more interest.

 

“She feels to comfortable around you”

- I would see a girl (who I think likes me) around a lot and I would stop by at her room once in a while and she would wear sweatpants and like an old t shirt. Then we would just do whatever, cuddle, watch netflix, etc... So now I am friendzoned bc she is too comfortable around me? Is she supposed to change into a dress?

If she is cuddling you and watching netflix and she is not trying to escalate or trying to turn you on, or rejects any further advances, you are in the friend zone.

The sweatpants and old tshirt is a bit of a give away too, she sees you as a brother/friend/cuddly toy, not as a potential lover.

[Curiousroxy86]

I am a woman. If I was a dude I personally would go by these signs instead....

 

You call her she doesn’t return your calls in the same day consistently if at all

 

She takes hours to respond to your texts consistently even if you confirmed the best time to contact her

 

She lets you be affectionate towards her but she doesn’t exactly return the affection. She lets you kiss her and hold her but she doesn’t put her arm around you or caress your head or body while kissing she just lays there.

 

She rejects your affectionate touches like kissing cuddling holding hands too many times

 

She agrees to non-date like places only like fast food/coffee places and rejects more date settings like dinners at night

 

She agrees to less initimate settings only like movies, concerts, dates doing something active. Anything where you can’t exactly look her in the eyes and talk or hold her

 

She agrees to group dates only not one on one

 

You ask for exclusivity within a responsible amount of time (2-3 months in my opinion) and she says something like “I am not sure yet” “I am still getting to know you and would like to date a little more” “I like you but I’m still trying to figure out if I want to be in a relationship” “I don’t know if I want to be in a relationship”. Basically she didn’t say no but she also didn’t say yes lol.

 

She told you from the beginning that she wasn’t looking for anything serious

 

She told you after having sex that she is not looking for anything serious

 

If she did agree to exclusivity with you but comes up with excuses not to have sex with you too many times

 

Take heed to key words bolded because you may see one or few instances which doesn’t means she is friend zoning but if it’s consistent, only, too many times, mostly....then yea I would take it as a sign, drop her behind, and gtfo of there, and date women who clearly are romantically interested in you. Because what sets a girl your dating apart from just a friend is the romantic aspect and that she eventually becomes your girlfriend (again within a reasonable amount of time).

 

Even if her intentions is not exactly to friend zone you these scenarios would not be an enjoyable romantic relationship so if that’s what you want avoid women who do the above. Good luck!

[Curiousroxy86]

The sweatpants and old tshirt is a bit of a give away too

 

My classic chilling with my boyfriend at the house go to outfit is a cute feminine crop top and some joggers. The joggers for comfort and ease of getting in and out of and crop top for a bit of still tying to be sexy while not sacrificing my comfort

 

I will say though if a girl is normally dolled up at school/work/going out in general but when she go to see a guy she is dating she looks more “I don’t give a F” than normal then yes OP I would also include that has a sign of friend zoning or at the least she doesn’t care whether or not I find her attractive

[Tom1233]

@Elaine567 I just value people that I am talking to in real life more at a specific moment more than someone who texted me. Imo it is disresepctful to not talk to someone when you see him/her in real life to answer text messages.

 

The sweatpants and old tshirt is a bit of a give away too, she sees you as a brother/friend/cuddly toy, not as a potential lover.

 

Well, that’s exactly what I mean. Like if I just come over without telling her before, what is she supposed to do? She is wearing this stuff already.

 

(Just a hint: When I talk about a girl, it is the girl I am recently talking to)

 

@Curiousroxy86 Thank you for your answer! This really helped me. I actually think I am more of a friend now. Especially when you said that she rejects going to eat dinner. I once asked her what she wanted to do and said that I would vote for food and she replied “we can get food yeah! We can also take a walk in (insert park name)” So yeah. I just said we can go for a walk and we did, it was good. Thank you tho!

 

And the thing is the girl normally does not even wear make up at anytime, she is pretty chill. She only wears make up when we go on a “date” alone or when she goes out on weekends obviously. Actually I think that is a pretty good sign that she puts on make up when she is going out with me.

Edited June 10, 2019 by Tom1233

[elaine567]

My classic chilling with my boyfriend at the house go to outfit is a cute feminine crop top and some joggers. The joggers for comfort and ease of getting in and out of and crop top for a bit of still tying to be sexy while not sacrificing my comfort

 

No-one said a tshirt and joggers isn't sexy or appropriate or that women need to be glammed up 24/7, but there is a big difference between a cute feminine top and an old tshirt.

One implies some "romantic" interest the other implies none.

This, I thought is a girl he is interested in, not his gf. If she wanted to attract him I guess she would be putting in more effort.

[Curiousroxy86]

No-one said a tshirt and joggers isn't sexy or appropriate or that women need to be glammed up 24/7, but there is a big difference between a cute feminine top and an old tshirt.

One implies some "romantic" interest the other implies none.

This, I thought is a girl he is interested in, not his gf. If she wanted to attract him I guess she would be putting in more effort.

 

I wasn’t disagreeing with your point. I was giving the op a little more context in my opinion on how the way a girl dress can be a sign she is not that in to him or friend zoning

[somanymistakes]

Hey guys,

 

So I am normally not really into writing in forums but I am a 19 year old male going to university and just recently I saw an article about “10 Signs of being friendzoned” and I kept on reading multiple other articles about this topic. And after reading I was asking myself two questions.

 

Does an actual friendzone exist? And are these signs even reliable/useful?

 

It's an unanswerable question because people first have to agree on what they think the "friendzone" even IS. It gets used in so many different ways by different people that it ends up being utter nonsense.

 

Some people will point to ANY situation, under ANY circumstances, where a woman decides she doesn't want to date you and call it 'friendzone!!!!!' Including when she was dating you previously and just now broke up with you.

 

Now, some people hold to the theory that if you become too friendly with a woman without having made her sexually into you first, you've blown your chances with her forever, and that's what they mean by 'friendzone'. However, this is also nonsense. Many women date guys they were friends with first. Many women only date guys they were friends with first.

 

Some people are not looking for a "friendzone" so much as they are trying to tell "is she into me right now?" Which is a separate question. Someone might not be into you right now and that doesn't mean she never will be. However, there are definitely signs you can look for to try and guess how into you someone is.

 

Does that help?