Mr. Lucky Posted July 26, 2019 Share Posted July 26, 2019 OMG you have just said everything i am feeling exactly, but just haven't been as eloquent as you. Do you feel your wife plays fast and loose with the truth in everyday life, someone who exaggerates, misleads - and lies? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author RickRud2019 Posted July 27, 2019 Author Share Posted July 27, 2019 Do you feel your wife plays fast and loose with the truth in everyday life, someone who exaggerates, misleads - and lies? Mr. Lucky No i don't think so in general life no Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 No i don't think so in general life no Oh. Soooooo, just with you then? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RickRud2019 Posted July 27, 2019 Author Share Posted July 27, 2019 Oh. Soooooo, just with you then? Just with me and only about her past. The photos with her ex and what she has done. Keeps telling me things and drip feeding the truth Link to post Share on other sites
Author RickRud2019 Posted July 29, 2019 Author Share Posted July 29, 2019 I agree. Sounds like you have an alpha widow i have a what? Link to post Share on other sites
Author RickRud2019 Posted July 31, 2019 Author Share Posted July 31, 2019 Alpha widows are women who’ve had an Alpha man in their past make such an impression upon them that any man that comes along after him must essentially fight with that impression in order to replace him as the optimal Alpha in her life. ok thanks i have never herd of that before Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted August 1, 2019 Share Posted August 1, 2019 How would you suggest i deal with this? i cannot go to a therapist, she wont allow it i have asked to. She says i need to deal with it myself Yikes, OK, this is the most alarming thing in this whole thread. That's extremely controlling. It's simply not her call whether you, an adult, chooses to go to a therapist. I was feeling on the fence about whether I thought you were overreacting or not, because the lying is a concern but it wasn't clear whether she had otherwise overstepped a boundary. But this statement casts a new light on the issue, IMO. Go to a therapist. Talk it out. You might be surprised what you find out about what you think and what you know, deep down. Perspective is everything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 1, 2019 Share Posted August 1, 2019 How would you suggest i deal with this? i cannot go to a therapist, she wont allow it i have asked to. She says i need to deal with it myself This is what they mean when they say an "Alpha male". He would never allow a woman to tell him what he can and cannot do. Women have no respect for men they can boss around. I've known several women who couldn't pull the Alpha they wanted so they settled for "the nice guy" because they are faithful and good providers. They never give the same sex to the "nice guy" that they gave to the "Alpha". Link to post Share on other sites
Inflikted Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 I mean, I can't really weigh in on anything, because I've literally never even been in a relationship before, so I have no actual experience or perspective to give my opinions any weight. But, in theory, if I were going to be with someone, I'd want the relationship to be based on honesty and openness. Of course, perhaps that's a bit naive of me. In reality, people lie, people withhold information. For all I know, in my own inexperience, maybe it's relatively normal (and thus, forgivable?) to lie about things like that. Finding something out like that would bother me. I'd wonder if there were other things she hid from me or misled me to believe. It'd also hurt me to know that she didn't feel she could be open and honest with me to just tell me the truth to begin with. But, that's just me. What do I know? Not much, as it turns out. *shrug* Link to post Share on other sites
Author RickRud2019 Posted August 5, 2019 Author Share Posted August 5, 2019 This is what they mean when they say an "Alpha male". He would never allow a woman to tell him what he can and cannot do. Women have no respect for men they can boss around. I've known several women who couldn't pull the Alpha they wanted so they settled for "the nice guy" because they are faithful and good providers. They never give the same sex to the "nice guy" that they gave to the "Alpha". So you think the "alpha" is her ex BF and she gave him better sex than me? And she lied about it because I am the "nice guy" and she knew she would get away with it? I take it you think they had sex on the beach too and she got naked? Link to post Share on other sites
Author RickRud2019 Posted August 5, 2019 Author Share Posted August 5, 2019 I mean, I can't really weigh in on anything, because I've literally never even been in a relationship before, so I have no actual experience or perspective to give my opinions any weight. But, in theory, if I were going to be with someone, I'd want the relationship to be based on honesty and openness. Of course, perhaps that's a bit naive of me. In reality, people lie, people withhold information. For all I know, in my own inexperience, maybe it's relatively normal (and thus, forgivable?) to lie about things like that. Finding something out like that would bother me. I'd wonder if there were other things she hid from me or misled me to believe. It'd also hurt me to know that she didn't feel she could be open and honest with me to just tell me the truth to begin with. But, that's just me. What do I know? Not much, as it turns out. *shrug* Thanks I feel a very similar way Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted August 7, 2019 Share Posted August 7, 2019 So you think the "alpha" is her ex BF and she gave him better sex than me? And she lied about it because I am the "nice guy" and she knew she would get away with it? I take it you think they had sex on the beach too and she got naked? Not to speak for stillafool, but I read that as just talking about whether you are behaving as a stereotypical "alpha male" rather than any sort of comparison to an ex. Personally, I wouldn't worry about the alpha male stuff at the moment. You've got bigger problems than comparing yourself to her exes. (And I don't think that trying to remold yourself into some sort of abstract ur-dude is going to help you figure out whether you even want to stay in this relationship or whether it's time to exit, stage right.) Please, consider therapy. This person sounds like she's isolating you from your own best interests. You need some perspective, and what we can offer here is limited. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RickRud2019 Posted August 7, 2019 Author Share Posted August 7, 2019 Not to speak for stillafool, but I read that as just talking about whether you are behaving as a stereotypical "alpha male" rather than any sort of comparison to an ex. Personally, I wouldn't worry about the alpha male stuff at the moment. You've got bigger problems than comparing yourself to her exes. (And I don't think that trying to remold yourself into some sort of abstract ur-dude is going to help you figure out whether you even want to stay in this relationship or whether it's time to exit, stage right.) Please, consider therapy. This person sounds like she's isolating you from your own best interests. You need some perspective, and what we can offer here is limited. Thanks Muse. We are starting to open a dialogue about things, and she has said to me she will try to be more open and honest. Still hasnt admitted anything about the beach pics though. Link to post Share on other sites
big dog Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 Something doesn't sound right to me.. I'd say she's hiding more than just a G string. And why would she keep those pics to begin with ? Link to post Share on other sites
oldtruck Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 problem is op kept asking her the time too press her for the truth was before they married not 10 years later interrogating her when drunk to create retro jealousy Link to post Share on other sites
Author RickRud2019 Posted September 23, 2019 Author Share Posted September 23, 2019 Something doesn't sound right to me.. I'd say she's hiding more than just a G string. And why would she keep those pics to begin with ? Thanks Big dog What do you think more she is hiding? I don't think she is hiding her g string in the pics, seriously i cant see one at all. She does look great in the pics so i assume she wanted to keep them because of that Link to post Share on other sites
oldtruck Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 does not matter what she was wearing. it was her past. never good to talk about your partners past relationships. op is now reaping what he sowed. op you now happy with this retroactive jealousy? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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