Will she come back?

[Vexxed]

To start off, the actual true love of my life and I have recently been broken up. We started dating in high school my sophomore year her freshmen and when I say we have true love I know it sounds Bs but it isnt. I saved this girl who was lost in a world of hurt and abuse and we have gone strong for 4 1/2 years into our college years (we live 15 minutes apart still). Over the past few months our relationship had begun to turn toxic with the fights increasing and she constantly wanting to physically leave me (not breakup) but just leave me and We would always argue about it. She wanted time with her friends and to go out and develop herself because she was so comfortable with the life we had together. This girl is beyond loyal i would never for a second think it was cheating or infidelity that caused this divide. She wanted to be her own person and I wouldnt let her because I wanted to be with her all the time. I pushed her away and I know this but we had a really bad fight in the end. She invited me to her friends, I didnt wanna go because we were fighting I just wanted to hangout alone with her. After giving her her space that day she bailed on our plans and chose to stay at her friends ditching me. So i drove to her friends and she came to my car to talk to me because it was already a fight. In the car we started talking and i said “last saturday you got too drunk” and she lost her mind and all my hurt went unheard and she completely flipped the table like I was the ****. She tried to immediately open my door and in that moment I felt like I was going to lose her and i was so scared. My door handle is broken so she couldnt get out and i started driving and panicking and freaking out and she was screaming at me. Then i was so torn i screamed “i want to ***** kill myself” she was scared for her life and I was scared for mine. I was unstable and in a panic but what i said and what i meant were two different things. Her friends came outside and freaked out on me and she was balling her eyes out and she went inside crying. Her friends blocked my number on her phone and all other social media. I realized what i have done and how depressed I was seeing the love of my life slip away from me. Since then she contacted me to meet up and we did. Her parents know what happened and her friends do too but I can feel down deep how much she still loves me and sees how ive changed. I started working out every day and building friendships and memories of my own. I neglected my own life for so long and became so codependent it was making me depressed. I have spoken with her grandmother (basically her mom) who thinks its not over just yet hearing all of this but has not spoken with my girl yet. When my girlfriend texted me it was after 5 days, she had unblocked my number and asked to meet up in stabucks in public. She told me days ago on the phone it was for “closure” and she said it was “not fixable” and “theres no going back”. This is the first time we have broken up and that was things i could tell she was saying in the heat of the moment. Anyways, we meet up in person at this point and when I see her it was strange at first and we hugged casually which broke the ice. I had grabbed a table and had ordered us both a large coffee. One was vanilla one was toffee nut and i waited to start drinking until she got there. I was ready to hear everything she had to say. First it was casual talk “how is everything?” “Hows work going” you know. Anyways, i looked at her and asked if she wanted to go first and she said she would prefer if i did. So instead of begging and pleading and asking for another chance i told her i support whatever she decided and I always want to be a part of her life no matter what. I told her how mentally unstable and unhappy I was and everything I realized about how wrong what we were doing to each other was. This took her completely by surprise and she started balling her eyes out and holding my hand and she told me “im so ***** proud of you. Hearing all of that makes me so happy”. I went in completely composed and ready to show how different i already am. Anyways it was going great and there was alot of touching and flirting. She cried a ton and i was totally strong and there for her support. By this time i threw out her crying tissues and gave her a second to collect herself alone and when i came back i said “i could sit here and drink coffee with you all day but im really hungry, are you?” And she smiled and she was and i made a joke we could drive there seperate (because of you know the whole) and she laughed and smiled. There was so much eye contact and sparks of love it felt like our love had reignited from years past. We went out to lunch and what was supposed to be 45 minutes turned into 3 hours. We reminisced and talked about our own plans and futures and i made it clear i have my plans but still have deep loving feelings for her. She agreed that she loved me and wasnt too talkative about us actually “breaking up” or “seeing other people” none of that was said only one thing at coffee was “well alex i do want you to move on” but later at lunch while smiling and laughing and rubbing her back and holding her. She began to cry as our bill came and the fun part of hanging out came to an end (we left all the serious stuff back at coffee). Anyways the whole time she stared into my soul and she was still so in love and so attached like the day i met this girl. As she was crying i suggested we go talk in her car somewhere alone. She smiled and thought it was a great idea, we started to reall both break down at this point watching old videos and a clip of her promising to marry me from years ago. It got really emotional and she reached out for another hug and waited, i hesitated as if it was a test and she said “hug me” and she never held me tighter and i never held her tighter. I rubbed her back while we hugged (it was a long one) then she kissed my shoulder and i did the same. Then she kissed my neck and i did the same. Then i pulled away and looked into her eyes and she said “i know i shouldnt but i really wanna kiss you right now” i smiled and shrugged and she leaned in and we kissed so passionately on the lips. Then it was time to go and i made her laugh again and we kissed even longer again. Both said “i love you” and i left. She kept my number unblocked and our pics are still up on social media. I am blocked still on instagram and snapchat but not on facebook or texting. I caught her reading old messages we had on facebook which she never uses which means shes got her eyes on me. Also her bff always watches my stories so she’s Definetely keeping her eyes on me. She has changed her instagram pic to one of her alone without me. When we text it is only positive and the emojis came back and theres still hope to meet but as of right now it is friday and she is supposed to message me sunday about hanging out monday so i am waiting for that. Completely confused on this one guys. Im telling you this girl is the one for me and im the one for her there is no doubt but there is so much bad going on right now. Her dad texted me to give her space and see how things go. He knows every detail of what happened and is an aggressive man so if i really **** up he would have said “stay the **** away from my daughter or ill kill you” kind of text but he did not say that and im being told by everyone around me to give her space. Im being strong and doing my best I cant lose this girl but at the same time i would respect any decision she makes. Thank you everyone if you made it this far!

[Flame Aura]

paragraph

 

/ˈparəɡrɑːf/

noun

noun: paragraph; plural noun: paragraphs

 

1. 1.
   a distinct section of a piece of writing, usually dealing with a single theme and indicated by a new line, indentation, or numbering.
    
    
    
    
   

[Rockdad]

I'll wait for a mod to edit it. My eyes went cross ways.

[d0nnivain]

Alas another high school dashed on the rocks of college.

 

It sounds like she still cares about you. After all you have been together for 4.5 years but she knows it's time to move on & grow from this relationship but she doesn't want to be the source of your pain.