loser-in-love Posted June 16, 2019 Share Posted June 16, 2019 I am on the path to divorce after 25 years. Living in California. I make about 20 - 30 times what my wife makes. We have two adult kids. I know I have to pay alimony and want to truly support her after the divorce, but not forever. Any idea on what typically is the duration of alimony payments after being married 25 years? Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted June 16, 2019 Share Posted June 16, 2019 Go see a lawyer. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 with the ca$h you have you can surely hire a team of divorce attorneys? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 It totally depends on how long you have been married and your/her income. You need to see a lawyer to determine what is required in your state. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 I am on the path to divorce after 25 years. Living in California. I make about 20 - 30 times what my wife makes. We have two adult kids. I know I have to pay alimony and want to truly support her after the divorce, but not forever. Any idea on what typically is the duration of alimony payments after being married 25 years? Thanks. Well when I got divorced in 2010, I think the alimony was $120/month for maybe two years (I rejected it) and he made roughly twice what I did. 14 years of marriage. 25 years with that income disparity??? I think you're in it for a while, and for a lot of money! See an attorney. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 25 years with that income disparity??? I think you're in it for a while, and for a lot of money! See an attorney. I agree. My boyfriend was $600/month, in addition to child support. Her ex did not and still does not work. The lawyer told my boyfriend that alimony was roughly half the length of the marriage. He paid alimony for six years. They were married for 12 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 California has a lifetime alimony clause after 10 years of marriage. You'd better get the best lawyer you can find. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 I know some people who've gotten (or given) a lump sum rather than alimony. Here again the law isn't the same in every state. An attorney can give you a pretty good idea of what to expect, though. And most don't charge for a consult. You're going to need one at some point anyway. Might as well get started. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 I am on the path to divorce after 25 years. Living in California. I make about 20 - 30 times what my wife makes. Wouldn't the division of assets be a bigger financial consideration than alimony? Here's one place to start: https://www.businessinsider.com/lawyers-you-dont-want-to-see-across-the-divorce-settlement-table-2010-1 Why a divorce after 25 years ? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 Wouldn't the division of assets be a bigger financial consideration than alimony? That’s what I was thinking too. Link to post Share on other sites
Rockdad Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 I know I have to pay alimony and want to truly support her after the divorce, but not forever. Well you will get over that I assure you. Cali is one tuff state as I understand to be getting a divorce in your position. Your best investment is the best legal gun you can find to hire. Once the deal is done it's woefully more difficult to get anything amended. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 Well you will get over that I assure you. Yep, almost guaranteed! Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 Personally I'd quit my job and move out of the country. No ex of mine is getting a cent out of me unless it were for child support. Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 (edited) I am sorry in the state of CA you are pretty much screwed in that department. I have a friend that was married for over 20 years and divorced in CA. His situation was similar to yours. He has to pay his ex $1200 a month for life. Edited July 10, 2019 by Rayce Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 Personally I'd quit my job and move out of the country. No ex of mine is getting a cent out of me unless it were for child support. Marriage is a business partnership. If you don't want to uphold your legal obligations, don't get married. Nobody's forcing you to. (At least, I hope nobody's forcing you to!) I really wish that countries made sure people understood what they were agreeing to when they got married! Unfortunately the actual process of a legal marriage is pretty much "You're adults and not siblings? Okay, you're married now." And not even THAT much in a lot of the US where you can still marry a thirteen year old against her will... Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 Marriage is a business partnership. If you don't want to uphold your legal obligations, don't get married. Nobody's forcing you to. (At least, I hope nobody's forcing you to!) I really wish that countries made sure people understood what they were agreeing to when they got married! Unfortunately the actual process of a legal marriage is pretty much "You're adults and not siblings? Okay, you're married now." And not even THAT much in a lot of the US where you can still marry a thirteen year old against her will... Personal responsibility is taking care of yourself without living off of someone else. Not every state is as antiquated as California is. I live in a state that has no alimony law. It's one thing if children are involved and they require support, with no children and after property division it ends there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 Most likely support until she dies or remarries. All assets will be split as agreed upon. She likely will get half. What caused the divorce after 25 years? Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 Personal responsibility is taking care of yourself without living off of someone else. Not every state is as antiquated as California is. I live in a state that has no alimony law. It's one thing if children are involved and they require support, with no children and after property division it ends there. Again, it's a matter of reading the contract before you sign it. It doesn't matter what our personal opinion is, it matters what the rules are. Many people also think property division after divorce is unfair. Knowing what the rules are when you get married helps prevent unpleasant surprises later on. Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 Again, it's a matter of reading the contract before you sign it. It doesn't matter what our personal opinion is, it matters what the rules are. Many people also think property division after divorce is unfair. Knowing what the rules are when you get married helps prevent unpleasant surprises later on. Nope, it's not a standard rule, sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 You'd be better off paying some stud to marry her and take her off your hands. This is another reason men are marrying anymore. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 Nope, it's not a standard rule, sorry. ... how is that a 'nope' or a 'sorry'? I am literally standing right here saying "learn what your actual laws are before you get married" rather than relying on some weird made-up handwaved idea of what you think the rules should be. So you... say that rules aren't all the same? THAT IS THE POINT THAT IS WHY YOU NEED TO LEARN THEM. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 ... how is that a 'nope' or a 'sorry'? I am literally standing right here saying "learn what your actual laws are before you get married" rather than relying on some weird made-up handwaved idea of what you think the rules should be. So you... say that rules aren't all the same? THAT IS THE POINT THAT IS WHY YOU NEED TO LEARN THEM. Learn how to read. Did I not post that in my state there is no alimony? It is the law and no handwaving nor is it made up. Now as far as OP is concerned it is the law in california, that is why I sarcastically suggested for him to move out of the country. There are loopholes to most civil laws and that is one of them. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 Marriage needs to be like a drivers license you renew every four years...This way people can just not bother renewing.... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 Marriage needs to be like a drivers license you renew every four years...This way people can just not bother renewing.... Upon non-renewal, do they cut/disconnect the kids along with the spouse? These aren't NFL contracts we're talking about... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 (edited) Learn how to read. [omitted] I sarcastically suggested for him to move out of the country. There are loopholes to most civil laws and that is one of them. You did no such thing. You clearly and unequivocally stated that if it was you, you'd quit your job and move out of the country. Personally I'd quit my job and move out of the country. No ex of mine is getting a cent out of me unless it were for child support. On top of that, now you're insulting other posters ability to read because they supposedly incorrect your "tongue in cheek sarcastic post" that is so dry it is in no way, shape or form distinguishable as being sarcasm. If you are convinced other readers should see it as being such, you have no business dispensing divorce advice. Edited July 17, 2019 by Normm Link to post Share on other sites
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