Do you sabotage yourself in your search?

[LuckyM]

maybe I sabataged myself dating and looking for relationships. Maybe you do. We want to find someone very much but some part of us (me) does not want to, really, so we stuff or don't do things that ensure that we fail. Then we might say we are better off without her. Or if only I had tried harder...

I don't want to admit this...do you? You can't really know for sure...you can post it here but strangers probably won't know.

I have a bad habit of looking for and planning to go places, sometimes to meet someone and then backing off, not going, giving up, or saying the wrong thing. In the past, I would go to an event, like a dance, then leave without going in. I'd say not enough girls. This is anxiety, fear.

[The Outlaw]

I’m sure that I have. But I’m perfectly content with being single. I’m nearly drama free at the moment and that’s just the way I like it.

[alphamale]

what's your point LM??

[Eternal Sunshine]

I have probably sabotaged myself because I prefer being single (deep down).

 

 

 

I have never went somewhere and not gotten in out of anxiety though...

[Foxhall]

Yes actually a good point OP,

 

this is a common enough problem for shyer people especially,

 

It can be challenging as it involves getting out of the comfort zone, I always feel it is good to get out of one's comfort zone though from time to time,

 

It may work out well , you enjoy the event and you look back and laugh at the initial hesitation,

 

it may not go that well, but at least you find out more about yourself and know that is not something I enjoy,

 

"feel the fear and do it anyway"

 

If you back out you always wonder what might have been.

[d0nnivain]

Lucky M

 

Since you have identified the bad behaviors, when you find yourself doing that -- psyching yourself out & not going in -- force yourself to move forward. Many times when I thought an evening was going to be a dud is when I had the best time.