loney_girl Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 I'm 35 and have been dating a 30 year old since the end of December. It seems like from the very start there were trust/jealousy issues coming from him. He has accused me on several occasions of lying (I wasn't) and also accused me of being on a dating app (I wasn't). He started getting agitated about the men I was friends with on Facebook and made me delete some which we got in a huge fight over. I told him this level of jealousy is a huge deal breaker for me. We stopped seeing each other for about a month and he begged me for another chance. Then it became an issue because a man I've known for 10 years was sending me messages on snapchat. Innocent, small talk type messages. He was getting so worked up over it that I deleted snap chat. Recently I have re-added it. I have several friends (as well as my sister) in their 20s and snapchat is the main way they communicate rather than texting. Now he is checking my snap score it seems on a regular basis and questioning me on who I am snapping with. I told him I find this bizarre and it seems to me like more jealousy and controlling. He says its normal to check peoples score. Is it? Does the jealousy ever stop? There are a lot more things which have happened which I haven't added in here but am I over reacting about being annoyed over the snap score monitoring? He always makes me feel like I'm being crazy when I get agitated over what I feel is controlling behaviour. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Get all your old friends back. Reactive snapchat & delete him from your life. A grown person getting that worked up over innocuous social media messages is ridiculous. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 The minute a man starts accusing you of cheating, you kick him the the curb! He be cray cray, and controlling=abusive. I agree, block and delete him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 If you have nothing to hide then the issue is HIM. Some men (and women) who obsess about their partner cheating or being inappropriate often times are doing so to deflect from whatever it is THEY are doing. Not in all cases but definitely some. Regardless, this guy is exhausting and incapable of being in a healthy happy relationship. Time to move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 You should just dump him and let him be free to find a woman that doesn't have male friends and has no reason to be on social media. He isn't the right man for you and you are not the right woman for him. Incompatibility is something you'll never be able to find a resolution to. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 He's either a controller ... and or ... a cheater himself. The worst are controllers and cheaters ... he's trying to isolate you. Dump him. You cannot reason with this behavior. Get out. Do Not look back. This guy will persist in this behavior and there's a good chance he'll escalate. The longer you stay with him, the harder it'll be to break up. Get out. Now! And next time you're dating a guy and a HINT ... of this kind of behavior shows up, stop ... dump him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 I think all of this advice is valid. Although not to T/J but it points to how undateable and 'broken' betrayed partners are (or could be) perceived. If you don't think he is cheating, you might ask him if others cheated on him and encourage him to get counseling and be single for a while to re-center himself. Whether or not you stay with him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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