Has there been a person you had feelings for but couldn’t be with?

[Mike800]

Someone you were attracted to had great chemistry with really loved being around but for whatever reason: maybe it was a close friend co worker not right timing whatever but you couldn’t go out with but always wondered what if?

[Orokotikki]

Sure, maybe a half dozen or so. I think everyone wonders from time to time.

Wondering is natural.

Wandering (when in a committed relationship) though, is just selfishness and a lack of integrity.

[Mrin]

Absolutely. I can think of a few right off the top of my head. But, I can tell you that with a few or many years between them and now, it was just pure fantasy/crush. The art of the possibility is alluring. But fleeting.

[Mrin]

Actually, just to chime in again and be a little superficial. I've run into a couple of these "bygone crushes" many years after the crush. Every time I have it was like, "whoa, I really lucked out on missing that boat". Ha!

[The Outlaw]

Absolutely. You could say she was the one that got away that never was. She's married now, and I haven't seen her since April 2002. But she's unforgettable to say the least.

[Cora]

Yes, there was a boy I knew years ago when we were 12. We met at church. He would always follow me around, would smile at me, sit by me etc. He was a nerdy kid with these big glasses and braces. I wanted nothing to do with him. Over the years I began liking him more and more. He grew into this handsome young man, lost the glasses and the braces, but most of all he had a heart of gold. He was the type of person who would do anything for anybody. He worked at a local grocery store when we were 16 and I’d always go grocery shopping with my mom just to see him. He’d always make a point to speak to me and always smiled. Talked to me at church all the time. My parents used to joke with me and say I’d probably end up marrying him. I knew he liked me or at least I felt like he did. But I was too scared and shy to tell him how I felt. I even once thought about sticking a note on his car telling him how I felt and signing it “your secret admirer.” Hoping he’d realize who it was. But I didn’t even have the guts to do that. Anyway, the years went by and we both went away to different universities and I never saw or spoke to him again. Thought about him all the time over the years and always wondered how he was doing? Looked him up on social media awhile back and he’s now married to a beautiful woman and has a child of his own. I always wondered and still do...”what if?” He will always be the one that I let get away. And I’ll always regret that. Sigh...

[caveman621]

I think everybody has this and the "what if?" that goes along with it.

 

At least four or five for me.

[fairyfloff]

have 1, we were both really drunk and dancing and he pulled me in and kissed me several times throughout the night once my other friends left.

 

I never thought of him in that way, he is a close friends' relative whom I've included into our social circle the past few years, we haven't spoken about the night since and have just acted like it never happened.

 

He is a really sweet, respectable guy and not sleazy type. The kiss was nice, passionate and very unexpected! I am trying to remind myself to keep my boundaries and I shouldn't do anything further.

 

I just think it will be too messy if we dated/broke up coz I am close to my friends parents too and attend a few of their family gatherings.

[healing light]

Yes. I have one. I don't like people often, and I've pretty much had my feelings for everyone else dissipate over time, but this person will probably always be a "what if" unless I end up with someone else. It's been over a decade now, we are not in each other's lives. At the time, it was rotten timing and sabotaged by a couple of people close to us who had ulterior motives. When I had a blog, he still regularly stalked it (despite being in a relationship with someone else) for years after we last spoke until I shut it down, so I have a feeling that something lingered for him, too. Haha.

[Arieswoman]

caveman;

 

 

I think everybody has this and the "what if?" that goes along with it.

 

At least four or five for me.

 

 

Me too.

[lana-banana]

Yes, there was one, a guy with whom I had incredible off-the-walls chemistry. We got on like a house on fire but we were both in long-term relationships when we met. But I knew if I didn't say something, even just "I think maybe I like you" or whatever, I would spend the rest of my life wondering what if. I had to get it out of my system for my own sanity. Long story short is we got married.

 

Life is way too short and love is way too rare to have regrets like this. If you meet someone and you just know in your gut that you have to say something, do it. I can't imagine what my life would be like today if I hadn't worked up the nerve to just go for it.

[LuckyM]

Sure many times, unfortunately. It was not meant to be.

 

 

Theres nothing you can say or do.

 

 

 

 

"Of all sad words of tongue and pen,

the saddest are these: it might have been."

 

 

 

 

poem called "Maud Muller"

.

[amaysngrace]

Yes. He’s married to my friend although she’s no longer my close friend. I don’t wish bad things for her, I just don’t talk to her anymore.

 

I saw him in May and he kissed me on my forehead

 

So sweet but won’t ever happen most likely.

[mark clemson]

Absolutely. Ye olde high school crush...

[Rayce]

That's why I'm here.

[MetallicHue]

That’s why I joined but not why I’m here now.

[Inflikted]

I mean, sort of, but it wasn't a case of a lingering "What if?", as I did ask her out, and she said no.

 

She was a coworker, which, in hindsight, I now think back on that being a bad idea, as even if she hadn't rejected me, I think it would've strained a potential relationship to work together the way we did. But at the time, I wasn't thinking about that. I just knew that she and I seemed to hit it off really well, we seemed to be on the same page in so many ways, and I even got the feeling that she was interested in me, only because initially, she would often seek me out to hang out and chat at work.

 

When I fell for her, I fell pretty hard. I asked her out, and she didn't give me a direct response immediately, then when we worked together several days later, she told me no. I tried to play it cool, but then as time passed, it hit me really hard because I liked her so much and was so sure there was something there. She started pulling away from me, and that bothered me because I didn't want to stop being friends, and I kept trying to be "present", but I only made things worse and more awkward, and I think she kinda ended up hating me. Sometimes, I still think back and regret what happened.

 

But, looking back, I'd probably say I wasn't so much "in love" or "had feelings", as I was "obsessed". A well adjusted person that "has feelings" would have been way more rational and better behaved than I was. I was merely super obsessed with a girl who was probably just being friendly to me, and I burned a bridge badly.

[OldRover]

I feel for you folks, been there also.

 

 

The one that's really stuck in my mind is one I just should have met earlier...when she was in high school. If would have been a perfect HS relationship. We had tons of things in common. We dated later and feel that was the absolute best times we had together. We had a few dates that were just out of a picture book. However, never cemented a long term relationship because of other things. Still see her occasionally.

 

 

 

Had two other girls, one I dated in HS for three years, and just went separate ways for college. Still see her every five years or so. The other was a college lover over a summer session. She was really a 10 on 10 and had the greatest summer with her. But we went back to different schools after that summer, 2000 miles apart. However, while she could have been, she wasn't "the one".

 

 

 

Sometimes ya just need to really chase the one at the moment and don't let her go. Screw college.

[HappiDays]

Hi everyone. I'm new here and couldn't resist posting to this thread.

 

The one that still crosses my mind now and then was from when I was pretty young, just in high school. My first real crush. He was a couple years older than me and man was he cute. I got a part time job and he worked there too. We became close at work but I can honestly say he never encouraged me in any way. During my crush it was all me. And I was head over heels. It was impossible to hide it although I never chased him. I just adored him and everyone knew it. He continued to be a good friend to me regardless tho.

 

He broke my heart on a couple of occasions due to no fault of his own. Dating other girls instead of me.

 

Funny thing is when I got engaged some time later his Mom called me. She had seen the engagement announcement in the paper. She said she knew all about me. She said he was in the Navy then and when she told him about the engagement announcement he said he guessed that was one wedding he wouldn't be going to. She said she called because of his feelings in case there was any chance things might change. But I had moved on by then. Funny how life works.

[Piddy]

Went to school with a girl I had a crush on from kindergarten thru high school.   Actually asked her to go to the movies when I was 11 years old.  She said no, but we were too young anyways.  Had a friend who was 14 and one day we were over his house and we decided to each asked out a girl over the phone.  His girl said yes, but 14 is a lot different than 11. 🙁

 

We did kind of liked each other when we got into junior high with us flirting with each other, but I never did ask her out.  Got to kiss her a few times when at a party in 8th grade playing spin the bottle.  We'd go behind a hall area in the house we were at and make out.  Loved it. 😎   She looked like Maria Sharapova, gorgeous.  

 

 

Edited December 17, 2019 by Piddy

[Piddy]

Oh, I think I have a crush on K.K.  😎

[stillafool]

You bet!

[JoeyArnold]

On 6/21/2019 at 8:35 AM, Mike800 said:

but always wondered what if?

 

If you are wondering, then you could pursue it. Curiosity can kill the cat. But if you're dying to know, then you will die either way, metaphorically speaking. If you don't give it a try, then you may never know. Then you have to live with regret. And regret is worse than failure. We know this. But consult your priorities first. If your main goals are keeping you away from pursuing certain people, then don't steer off that course. But, you can at least attempt to pursue them to an extent. You can try to do both. But you gotta be patient. You gotta be open minded. You gotta accept failure and mistakes. It is that simple. Be ok with failure.  If you want to know something, you may want to simply ask.

[Brennan72]

Oh yes. The girl that I connected with on a deep level, and was able to be somewhat vulnerable around

 

The one who shared my interest in music and poetry, and the one who likewise had my strange, esoteric interests. A hike in the woods with her was delightful. She was the adorable "wheatfield girl" 

 

Never quite sure where I stood with her, and I will never know, because it was impossible for us to be together. And while there is a hole in my heart, I was happy to call her a friend. 

[2BGoodAgain]

On 6/21/2019 at 11:35 AM, Mike800 said:

Someone you were attracted to had great chemistry with really loved being around but for whatever reason: maybe it was a close friend co worker not right timing whatever but you couldn’t go out with but always wondered what if?

 

the real question is... what's going on in YOUR life, that your mind is wandering.... 

 

the mind has a great capacity to cope with difficult situations... it rarely wants to be distressed/in pain, so you'd be surprised what the mind does...