PUB CRAWL GUILT! HELP!!

[mystery]

I have a real problem. I'm sure everyone knows what a pub crawl is. A real drunken stupper night. I'll begin by explaining that I've been in this relationship for the last 2yrs. We don't live together, but I thought we were very close and we could trust one another. I love him to pieces. So, this is the night (Sunday) of his company's pub crawl. I thought I could trust him, of course I've never been faced with a non trusting experience with him since I've been with him. I drop him off at 1:00 in the afternoon, I agree to pick him up in the evening. Oh, and I should mention as well that we didn't do a thing Fri and Sat night so he could prepare for his pub crawl on Sun, which is problem in our relationship. I don't do anything, and he can do what he wants) 9:45 he calls and asks me to pick him up. I agree, he's really drunk at this point. I agree to pick him up in front of the last bar of the pub crawl. I asked for some grace time because I wasn't at home. 2mins later he calls me back and says plans have changed and they were going somewhere else and he'd call be back in 10mins. I leave where I am, I head downtown, I try calling him on his phone because he didn't call me back after the ten minutes. 1hr and 15min pass, I'm driving all over downtown to find him, there are cops all over the streets, yellow tape up, police dogs everywhere. I'm freaking at this point, worrying. I didn't know what to do, I stopped traffic trying to find out information as to what was happening, I tried talking to one of the police officers, I talked to the bouncers at the club finding out where the people from his pub crawl where. I decided to go home and wait. Meanwhile my heart is in my throat the whole time waiting. I came to the conclusion that his phone was on and ringing so if he were involved in the shooting (oh that's what happened 2 men were shot in the bars) the police would turn the phone off or answer or something. I call his phone again, and leave a message stating if he doesn't call me back soon, he can find his own way home. 2 seconds later the phone rings. He was pissed because I wasn't home when he called to pick me up. So he was trying to show me a thing or two by making me wait for him. I tell him to find his own way home, he calls me at 2am to pick him up I loose it! I break it off with him, he broke my trust. Telling me things like, he had to stop a fight, he didn't hear his phone, I didn't think about calling you when the fight was happening. Meanwhile I've been home waiting for him to call me. I drive all over town looking for him. He didn't have the decency to call me, he then got caught for drinking and driving, he only called me at 2am when he needed to get home. I ended it, I flew off the handle. More so because I was so worried, angry, and he showed me no respect. He would freak if it were me in the same situation. What I'd like to know is did I over-react? I'm feeling terribly guilty because I didn't go to pick him up. I left him downtown, I ended it because he didn't call and let me know where he was. HELP ME PLEASE, the quilt is killing me. And yet I don't want to put up with this kind of crap!

[amanda]

Oh girl! You totally did the right thing by dumping him...did he treat you like that for the WHOLE two years? You really need to look back at your life and figure out what happened for you to handle this type of behavior from a guy. This was in no way your fault. You were doing him a FAVOR by picking him up and giving up your Friday and Saturday in the first place. You were NOT OBLIGATED in any way to pick him up afer all you have already done. He owed you a billion 'thank yous' and kisses. Do you do this for him all the time? He sounds like he just takes and takes and takes. Let me tell you from experience- the hurt and guilt you are feeling- GOES AWAY! Time is the best healer. It may feel like you will hurt forever and think about him always...but I promise you, it goes away. DO NOT call him!! If he is truly sorry he will call you and I hope you dont break down and apologize and take him back. HE should apologize and if you must, make him prove his love. Good luck.