T7T7MAN Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 (edited) hi i think my misses is cheating on me. she is a carer looks after a woman who is bed bound with ms he husband retired early so hes there all the time my misses is there there have been many times things have happened that made me think something is going on he obviously hadnt had sex for years when she started the job things like he would say to me i do realy apretiate the little extras she does for me hes wife takes tablets so she is asleep a lot of the time she started talking to me like **** and everything i say its like i anoy her and she snaps at me i started checking things and last summer she went to work with a short dress on later on i found a grass dart stuck in the side of her nickers when i confronted her with it she pulled it out and threw it in the bin like she was all in a panick she said its probably off one of my clothes from the allotment i hadnt been to the allotment i even took 3 grass darts put them in the wash bin with loads of clothes in and they didnt stick in anything then she said i probably put it ther myself to get her to admit it now all she can say is she dont no how it got there and im surposed to just accept it to me either her nickers had been in the long grass or she had been in the grass but i cant get no proof cos they are in his house and the other thing is he cuts peoples grass as a part time job please let me no what you think i dont no what to do many thanks t7t7man Edited June 21, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 Tough call - really one would normally want to get some solid proof before deciding what to do. Not sure how you'd get proof in this situation though. If any ideas come to mind I'll repost. Link to post Share on other sites
emotionallybroken9 Posted June 22, 2019 Share Posted June 22, 2019 Hey man, sorry for your mind pain If I could go back in time, I would ask my wife straight up if she was cheating on me (I never asked, only found out through text I saw on her phone) I would also tell her that I don’t feel that I trust her if she says no. If she loves you, she’ll be upset, but she’ll also try to help you trust the situation. If it’s killing you, then there’s something wrong and she should help you figure it out. This is only if she ISNT cheating on you. If she’s cheating on you, she’ll get upset (fake), and tel you nothing is happening. I’ve just been through this. I know it’s so hard to 100% believe your wife is cheating on you. She might not be, in which case scenario 1 will happen. But we have no idea what your relationship is like. Who’s dependant on who? Your sex life, etc etc. Just ask her, because you’re her husband right? If you’re worried, then she needs to know why. Seriously, just ask her flat out, “are you cheating on me?” Then come back and we’ll talk out the next thing. We’re here for you. LS was here for me too <3 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted June 22, 2019 Share Posted June 22, 2019 I'd like a clearer idea of what you want to do. Do you want to save your marriage or are you looking for evidence so you can divorce? Do you want a controntation or do you just want the affair blown up and then both of you can wink at each other the rest of your lives? I can detect very little passion about your situation but perhaps it's bottled up inside. This is a tough nut to crack and it may take you weeks to come up with evidence that cannot be explained away. Will you make the time and effort? If not, perhaps it would be easier to talk to a lawyer. First thing to do is find out more about this guy and his wife. Find out who his friends are and if he's a drinker and if so, what pub he visits. It could be that he brags about his extra benefit to his friends. Is your wife the first care giver for this couple? There may have been others that you can talk with. I live in the USA and for less then fifty dollars I can pick up a semen test kit at Walgreens (drug store.) You can use this to test clothing for semen stains. The evidence you need may come right home to you. You could (as has already suggested) directly confront her but that's a contest of personality and depending upon the dynamics of your relationship may or may not work plus you forfeit any chance you have of gathering evidence as they become more careful. There are a few other things to try but this should keep you busy for a while. I hope this was helpful although I do not feel as if I am helping you. Best Wishes Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 22, 2019 Share Posted June 22, 2019 (edited) So basically, you’ve accumulated a bunch of circumstantial evidence and concluded that your wife is cheating on you. It wouldn’t be my first thought... Edited June 22, 2019 by BaileyB 2 Link to post Share on other sites
emotionallybroken9 Posted June 22, 2019 Share Posted June 22, 2019 You already have a thread: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/infidelity/685824-think-shes-cheating Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted June 22, 2019 Share Posted June 22, 2019 ~Why would they need to do it in the grass if the wife is zonked out on "tablets?" ~Do you guys still have regular sex or have you badgered her about this to the point that she is becoming unattracted to you? ~How is your relationship in general? Link to post Share on other sites
Author T7T7MAN Posted June 23, 2019 Author Share Posted June 23, 2019 we have been together about 12 years we have always had a good sex life admittedly most of the time we have some speed and a smoke but just lately its like she has to have a drink as well most of the time she talks to me like **** like it seems like everything i say anoyes her and most of the time she jumps down my throat before iv finished what im saying sometimes when we have sex shes up for it other times its like shes only doing it to shut me up not that i hassle her for sex quite a few times it hasnt felt right or even looked right she has always been a liar and even when iv found out shes lying she will never admit it my ex wife cheated on me i new it was happening but took me a while to prove it after she convinced everyone i was going mad had 4 young kids at the time so it wasn't very nice now the kids have grown up and can see what a nasty piece off work she was so i no the sines i have asked her straight out just shouts at me on several occasions shes said o where are you working today never asked before done a few different things in bed every time she is sick she would get me to phone him and tell him then all of a sudden she had 2 weeks off for no reason made out she was ill i said u want me to phone and tall them she said she had already phoned them (his number was not on the recent calls on the house phone ) she dont have a mobile hasn't ror a few years now says she dont need one i no in my gut things aint right but cant prove it she accuses me of sleeping around for no reason never comes to bed when i go to bed says i dont watch the same things as her but ive said she can watch what she likes no good the mane reason i put this on here is cos of the grass dart in her nickers it was a really hot day had a short dress on and it was stuck fast in them now he cuts grass part time ! and to me there is only 2 ways it could have got there either her nickers were in the grass or she was in the grass with them on i cant think of any other way it could have got there she just says she dont no how it got there or she said i probably put it there to try to make her admit it lol. and i a meant to accept that ive tried to forget it but it wont go away just getting worse can anyone tell me how else could it have got there it wasnt there when she put them on they were new and she dont pass through any grass to get to work and she has always said if she slept with someone she would tell me CRAP and a little while ago she started asking me how i caught my first wife out ? whats thet all about please give me your opinyans and thanks for the replys Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 No, this isn't just you. There does seem to be a problem. She treats you badly and only gives duty sex - she is expressing loyalty to the other man. She accuses you of cheating - it's called transference. She is accusing you of what she is in fact doing... and now she wants to know how you caught your first wife cheating? I hope you don't tell her a thing! If you can, get someone to follow her - a P.I. of a friend she doesnt know. Put a voice activated recorder where you think she is doing the deed and just wait for the evidence. I don't think you will be waiting long... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SpiceCat Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 we have been together about 12 years we have always had a good sex life admittedly most of the time we have some speed and a smoke but just lately its like she has to have a drink as well most of the time she talks to me like **** like it seems like everything i say anoyes her and most of the time she jumps down my throat before iv finished what im saying sometimes when we have sex shes up for it other times its like shes only doing it to shut me up not that i hassle her for sex quite a few times it hasnt felt right or even looked right she has always been a liar and even when iv found out shes lying she will never admit it my ex wife cheated on me i new it was happening but took me a while to prove it after she convinced everyone i was going mad had 4 young kids at the time so it wasn't very nice now the kids have grown up and can see what a nasty piece off work she was so i no the sines i have asked her straight out just shouts at me on several occasions shes said o where are you working today never asked before done a few different things in bed every time she is sick she would get me to phone him and tell him then all of a sudden she had 2 weeks off for no reason made out she was ill i said u want me to phone and tall them she said she had already phoned them (his number was not on the recent calls on the house phone ) she dont have a mobile hasn't ror a few years now says she dont need one i no in my gut things aint right but cant prove it she accuses me of sleeping around for no reason never comes to bed when i go to bed says i dont watch the same things as her but ive said she can watch what she likes no good the mane reason i put this on here is cos of the grass dart in her nickers it was a really hot day had a short dress on and it was stuck fast in them now he cuts grass part time ! and to me there is only 2 ways it could have got there either her nickers were in the grass or she was in the grass with them on i cant think of any other way it could have got there she just says she dont no how it got there or she said i probably put it there to try to make her admit it lol. and i a meant to accept that ive tried to forget it but it wont go away just getting worse can anyone tell me how else could it have got there it wasnt there when she put them on they were new and she dont pass through any grass to get to work and she has always said if she slept with someone she would tell me CRAP and a little while ago she started asking me how i caught my first wife out ? whats thet all about please give me your opinyans and thanks for the replys Uhhhh are you sure you want to be admitting that on a public forum? Link to post Share on other sites
Buffer Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 (edited) There are some signs here that doesn’t add up. The anger towards you, the grass seed, phone calls etc. But nothing definitive. Get off the speed and weed, clear head can only help. Try opening better communication with her, just slowly, maybe a date night or two. Keep you subconscious in tune as it is telling you something is off here, look into it. I do feel there s more ‘smoke there is normally fire’. There a bit more loyalty towards him than you. I also feel she is transferring her actions in accusations of you cheating on her, so to justify her actions. If she doesn’t open better communication then may be a PI. If there is poor comms and you challenge her now she will shut you down, turn it around on you, or go deep underground so you will never know. It is your future life here. Don’t let her call the shots or you push her away. Hope this helps. Good luck �� Edited June 25, 2019 by Buffer Spelling Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 Just one thing about the grass on her clothes. If the guy cuts grass he may bring some into the house on his own clothing, had it fall off onto the furniture, and your wife could have sat down on it and had it transferred to her knickers. It seems to me the grass on her knickers isn't the greatest sign she's been rolling in the hay somewhere. As someone else pointed out, if the wife is asleep a lot why would her husband need to take someone out into the grass? Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 Yes, your so called wife is cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
merrmeade Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 Try to catch them so you can dump her with impunity. Link to post Share on other sites
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