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Broke NC, dumper sent me pic of her and new guy


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I had been drinking and heard a song that reminded me of her/us, and my sappy drunk ass texted her a line from it.

 

She tells me that we're "so over" and I need to move on bc she has...she's already with someone else. We've been broken up 2 weeks.

 

I ask her, how can you fall out of love so quickly? And she says "like this" and sent a picture of her and the guy she's seeing. ****ing low rent. I've never heard of anyone doing that to someone they broke up with.

 

She was originally very sad during the breakup and said she'd miss me tons, etc. Two weeks later I'm basically trash to her.

 

Moral of the story is DON'T BREAK NC.

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Beendaredonedat

Block and delete her. It will help you to more quickly get to the blissful stage of indifference to her.

 

It doesn't feel like it right now but she has done you a favor by trying to close the door on the two of you so you can heal and move on to find someone who isn't a d-bag.

 

Keep busy and immediately change any thoughts of her when she intrudes into your brain.

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In addition to blocking her get rid of her contact info. If you don't have it you can't use it.

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5 month relationship, where she broke up with you multiple times, fighting, bickering and name calling on both sides, till she finally ended it.

 

SHE dumped you, she was ready to move on and she did.

 

The mistake is to think that somehow the grief of splitting is shared straight up and down the middle, both are upset and heart broken.

Truth is, the dumpee is upset and heart broken, but the dumper rarely is. The reason most split is because they want sooner or later to see and sleep with other people, that is the bottom line.

They may feel a bit sad that another relationship hasn't worked, or nostalgic for times gone past, but many are very ready for what lies ahead.

Relieved, excited, happy that they are now free...

 

NC is your best friend for a reason.

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ExpatInItaly

In your previous thread, you acknowledge that this relationship was toxic and turbulent, laced with break-ups over the course of just 5 months.

 

The way she has handled herself during the break-up should thus come as no great shock, though I do have sympathy for you and the utter lack of sensitivity shown on her part. But, this is who she is.

 

Block and delete. For good. You will someday be glad she is someone else's headache.

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So that's a ****ty thing to do. Especially to someone who meant something to u. Just know her dumpling u was a blessing.

 

I believe, with time, most people can be friends with their exes. This is not one of those times

 

Block and delete

Like she never existed.

Edited by HiCrunchy
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It's like rubbing salt in the wound. Forget her. She did you a tremendous favor. Actions speak louder than words and this is a clearer cut picture of who she really is, and people that can go that low, aren't ever really worth the effort.

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destroyedlife

My ex did this to me, she invited me over to talk. So i went there and she had a picture of her and the new guy on the night stand.

 

You can call them narcissists or what ever. But the reason why they do this is because it puts her in a place of power. She purposly did it to hurt you obviously. How did she not care? Partly how she was raised has to do with that . Your pain relieves hers. she has it stuck in her head that if she moves on first or has sex first then she wins. Its all a game. Bad coping skills.

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After reading your back posts it's clear you refuse to take no for an answer. Her response to yet another attempt to contact her on your part was enough to piss her off to the point that she probably thought "Maybe THIS will finally get through his thick head and he'll stop bugging me".

 

Take some lessons from this:

 

Stop drinking. Completely. It's clear you can't handle it and booze isn't any good for you anyway.

 

When someone says "I'm breaking up with you" accept that it's their wish and there's nothing you can do about it. Chasing them only makes you look pathetic, needy, and insecure, it boosts their own moral and self importance to have someone go to pieces over them while at the same time annoying the crap out of them.

 

The relationship was a short 5 months and you're just a bit too broken up about a relatively short term thing. Figure out why.

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Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. That was harsh of her to do, but you've shown poor boundaries since the final split. Continuing to call after she was clearly not taking your calls. Texting despite her ignoring those messages. Continuing to pop up when she told you she didn't think you two would ever be friends.

 

I get how this would hurt so much, but right now, you're letting your bruised ego and low self-worth drive you to continue your self-induced degradation. Take this painful lesson as an opportunity to realize that this whirlwind relationship is over for good and you can make a clean break.

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