RoseOnLips Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 I dont even know where to begin.. but i'll try to keep it short and i hope to hear some advice. I have known this guy for some time. We used to be really close and had feelings for each other at the start. But things didn't go further because he said he didn't liked me anymore. Still, we continued to hang out. I continued believing that things will change for the better but ended up he found a new girl and started to date her but didn't make it official. I continued hanging out with him, believeing he wasn't serious with her since he still wanted to continue our relationship. Somehow or another, the new girl found out about us and made him promise to not continue our relationship. But he still continued doing so behind her back without her knowing even till now. I continued on too thinking that there was still hope in our relationship. Eventually, the new girl was tired of waiting for him to make things official and decided to break off with him and cited the history of us as one of the reason other on top of the long wait for him to make things official. He was really heartbroken and cried over her. And after reflecting on this, he felt he deserved it and he decided not to talk to me anymore because he wants to serve as a reminder that all these happened and he felt he deserved to suffer all these alone. Though he said he won't be talking to me, he is still texting me slowly. I really want to know.. is there a chance i can change his mind? And is there even the slightest chance of me getting into his heart again? Link to post Share on other sites
Silver_star Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 You say that the two of you were hanging out throughout the relationship, was it physical, or was it just as friends? Was there flirtation? Could be that he just liked you as a friend, or enjoyed the ego boost but nothing more. Maybe you were never "in his heart". In any case you see that he is heartbroken because he cared about this other woman a great deal and even wants to go so far as to cut you out now because he is regretting his decision to even be your friend in that time. If you cared about him you would let him grieve this loss, and get back to being himself again and not manipulate the situation to try and win his favor. My bet is that if she called offering a second chance he would get back with her in an instant, and you are out again. I just think if he liked you so much he would have been dating YOU and not her to begin with. So, I think you should value yourself more. There was a lesson in this for him, and there is a lesson in it for you. Pick up your self esteem. His relationship loss is his problem, but YOU, you have work to do on not taking the scraps of whatever a man will give to you as a consolation prize. Plenty of other fish in the sea (that are available and would choose you). Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 Though he said he won't be talking to me, he is still texting me slowly. I really want to know.. is there a chance i can change his mind? And is there even the slightest chance of me getting into his heart again? No, and you really shouldn't lower yourself to the level of hanging on to a guy like this. He was never as into you as you are into him, and he is not an honest or trustworthy guy. You're a fun distraction to him but that's about it. Raise your standards, girl. Never try to convince a man to be with you, especially a shady one like this dude. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RoseOnLips Posted June 24, 2019 Author Share Posted June 24, 2019 @silver star Us hanging out was a mixture of both. I liked watching horror movies and he hated it but despite his complains he would still watched them with me. And many times even though he was really tired and not in the mood, he would still make the effort to hang out when i asked of him. So back then he was sending this signal that he still cared. @expstInItalty I know. That's what many of my friends are trying to convince me as well.. but sometimes it is hard to pull away. Given that i have invested in more than a year in this. The feelings dont go away just like that.. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 Good lord. All you are to him is an emotional tampon. Ditch him. You're wasting your time and energy on this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 I know. That's what many of my friends are trying to convince me as well.. but sometimes it is hard to pull away. Given that i have invested in more than a year in this. The feelings dont go away just like that.. I realize that. But you made an unwise and misguided investment here. You're going to have to try to stay away from him anyway. It's not going to end the way you want it too. The more you insist on sticking around, the more hurt you are going to get. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 The only hope here is that you somehow come to your senses. Your feelings for him are unrequited. At most he sees you as a friend / buddy someone who should not be a threat to the women he dates. What he fails to realize is that all of those women will react like his EX because they will see you lusting after him & pining for him. They won't want you are around. After what happened with this girl dumping him, even if he's slowly texting you again now while he's single, as soon as he gets a new GF the minute she expresses concerns about you, he will drop you again. Spare yourself that heartache. Maintain your dignity. Just walk away now . Link to post Share on other sites
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