jodietay25 Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 So I was seeing this guy for a few months! Then last week he freaks out of nowhere saying he isn’t ready for a commitment and doesn’t want to see me anymore! Then the next day he asks to meet as he regrets ending it and just wants to take it slow which was fine .. then at the weekend we meet and it was fine but then the next day I don’t hear from him until he messages saying he’s sorry but he just can’t commit .. I’m so gutted! Has anyone been through this and the guy ends up regretting it? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 You are dealing with a guy who doesn't own his own mind. He will take you round & round, hot & cold until you put a stop to it. Now you have only wasted a few months. Why waste any more tie? Leave him to stew in his own mess. Meanwhile go date a grown up who doesn't have these issues. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 So what triggered his "freak out"?? Did you mention something?? Did you ask where is this going?? Are you leaving stuff at his place?? My "Standard Operating Procedure" was... when a woman started dropping hints about commitment, I would lie & tell her what she wanted to hear. Then start looking for her replacement. One a replacement was secured dump her and jump to the new one. This guy did it wrong... rookie mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 My "Standard Operating Procedure" was... when a woman started dropping hints about commitment, I would lie & tell her what she wanted to hear. Then start looking for her replacement. One a replacement was secured dump her and jump to the new one. yes indeedy….around the 3 month mark she would start dropping hints about commitment and whatnot. I would wait for her to start an argument or I would start one myself and then I would ghost her and never see/talk to her again. Then I would look for my next "victim" and then do the same thing to her. Monkey branching sort of... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 Has anyone been through this and the guy ends up regretting it? It happens every day . . . but what usually happens is they keep putting one foot in and taking it out and then the woman is the one who regrets allowing herself to be strung along. Block and delete this guy now and keep moving. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 I don’t hear from him until he messages saying he’s sorry but he just can’t commit .. I'll finish his sentence - "he just can’t commit .. to you...". No mystery here, if you were the "one", he'd be all in. Just didn't work out with him, time to look for someone more compatible... Mr. Lucky 4 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 Commitment issues aren't uncommon, but he's going to have to eventually take a leap of faith and give it a shot unless he just wants to be alone. For now, you should keep your distance and let him work on his commitment issues, because he won't be a good bet for anything if he continuously wants to take it slow, and then pulls back. He either wants something, or he doesn't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 He's trying to decide if he should settle for her or keep looking for "the one" . . . Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 "he just can’t commit .. to you...". No mystery here, if you were the "one", he'd be all in. This times a million. "I'm not looking for a commitment", "I'm not ready to date right now", "I'm not looking for a relationship", etc...99 out of 100 times means they don't want those things with you. It's just how it works. Unless he has a serious opposition to marriage or long-term monogamous relationships, the same guy who swears he'll never commit will fall headlong in love with a barista and get married in a year. I've seen it happen more times than I can count. Hell, my husband was one of those too. It's just a thing people say when they aren't feeling it. Don't take it personally. There's no real kind way to say "I don't want to date you anymore", so things like "I can't commit" or "I'm not interested" or "it's not you, it's me" are convenient niceties for getting out of the issue. But even though it's a lie it doesn't matter. If someone doesn't want to date you, that's all you need to know. You have to move along and keep your eyes open for the man who can't wait to be with you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 Here's a newsflash folks ; 95% of guys who tell you they 'don't want a committment', 'don't want anything serious', 'don't ever want to get married again' will do just that - the problem is that they won't do it with you. Don't take it personally. If he doesn't know if he wants a $h!£, shave or haircut, don't sit around while he figures it out. Move on and be available for someone who's really into you. Good luck. x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 Whether its the case here or not I cant say, but unless hes a complete troll, with all the resources/availability of easy sex its going to be pretty hard to get a lot of guys to commit...Not that they wont, just that it will be that much harder.. A friend of mine went through a few dozen women online before he finally decided to stay with one...Knowing him the way I do, and by what he told me, he was taking advantage of the current situation...If not, I am 100% sure he would have settled down earlier.. Its like being on a restricted diet, then going to the Chinese Buffet... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
LoverOfDance Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 Lol, @thefooloftheyear - you are very correct. When there's lots of options, it's hard to choose. I don't know why ppl keep focusing on the idea that he might not want a commitment with HER. You all seem to still be nursing hurt from previous men/women. Op, even if he doesn't want you, that's ok. We all have preferences and would rather date one person over another. It's also possible that he has some serious personal internal issues to work on. You just never really know with human beings. Just move on. You'll find someone who will treat you better. Link to post Share on other sites
Lorenza Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 yes indeedy….around the 3 month mark she would start dropping hints about commitment and whatnot. I would wait for her to start an argument or I would start one myself and then I would ghost her and never see/talk to her again. Then I would look for my next "victim" and then do the same thing to her. Monkey branching sort of... That's horrible. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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