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Should I have a distant hope, and leave the door open a bit?


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I can't work through all that.

It's not possible.

 

*_*

 

I think I need to see other people.

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I also had a typo up there from doing voice texting. I meant to say you didn't have much trouble meeting and getting in longterm relationships, not "time."

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Just read your posts. Well, it all does kind of fall into place. Caretaker is her identity. I have a bad memory. Does she have kids? I'm surprised she doesn't have a bunch of kids.

 

She's smart and lucid, so she knows logically that she shouldn't be choosing to constantly prop up someone and of course it's wearing, so she gets sick of it, but that is her identity. It would be a minor miracle if she changed enough on that to even get with someone who could hold their own, much less really support her. The biggest problem with people like this is they attract people who will just leech off them and some really bad people. People that most women would see red flags about and move on. It's very telling that her friends are not even her equals and that once they don't lean on her so much, she's done.

 

She may well wish she wasn't that way, but she is and sounds like her mother has absolutely taken it to extremes, probably her whole life. Hard wired.

 

It reminds me of a little story in my old crowd. There was this cute guy all the women were attracted to but none of us wanted to take him on as a relationship because he was a walking disaster, running delivery trucks under low bridges, etc. , drugs. Then one took him on. I didn't really know her, just knew who she was, so I asked a good friend of mine why and this young woman had had to take care of both her adult alcoholic parents as a child. So she was the only one in our crowd who viewed him as a keeper.

 

You wouldn't have known it to look at her. She was real punky and weird herself, but she was the caretaker and she found herself a good project. He ended up in jail and deported back to France, however. I mean, being a caretaker doesn't mean you can save them. You just take care of them while they keep doing what they're doing.

 

Sounds like she tries to rehab them in some ways at least, but what amount of success would be dubious.

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She's smart and lucid,... ...The biggest problem with people like this is they attract people who will just leech off them and some really bad people. People that most women would see red flags about and move on. It's very telling that her friends are not even her equals and that once they don't lean on her so much, she's done.
You know, I think she is actually careful on the bottom end of red flags too. If someone is too much headache, or too often, I think she cuts them out or keeps some distance.
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^ Hope so. She may have learned to spot hopeless ones. Her tolerance is still way higher than most people's.

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