I'm unsure and dont know where else to turn

[Zangetsu]

This might be quite a read so bear with me if you can. Thank you if you will.

 

Backstory;

Me and my girlfriend broke up around a year ago. We were both unhappy and thinking about braking up, she pulled the plug and I was the dumpee that tried to get her back, twice.

 

We were together only for a few months but we fell for eachother deaply, like never before, both sides. We were sexually atracted to eachother, our minds clicked and out hearts connected. However, the relationship felt like we've lived on two seperate islands and just couldn't come together. It may have been because of our fear of commitment and inability to form healthy boundaries, we cocreated this but my I must admit I was the "driving force" so to speak.. Our relationship had toxic elements and we had no communication. We were unaware of the dynamics we were creating.

Reflecting back on the relationship, I'm unsure of couple of things..

1. When she was mean to me, did she try to push me away? Or secrectly hoping for me to stand up to her and draw the line.

2.Why did she broke up with me? Did I do something wrong(Not being man enough, or just innability for our "islands to come together") or did she just see us "uncompatible"

 

Why does it matter to me;

If she dumped me because I did something wrong or I just didnt meet her needs and not wanting to get back with me would confuse me because I'm a kind of man that works on himself, I study and grow day by day. I also went to therapy for self improvment.

Or if she dumped me because genuenly something about me or relationship wasnt working for her that cannot be improved or worked on.

 

What has happened recently;

We havebumped into eachother few times lately and we have both shown some feelings for eachother. Her face light up on couple occasions and my heart opened for her twice. We only had small talk. But my mind instantly becomes full, because of all the things I just told you guys. And it fuels into this wall between us, which is a little annoying since we are both from the same social cirlcle. Apart from that I have no problem being around her even tho I'm not 100% over her.

 

 

Question;

Should I talk to her about all this? Do I need to so I could be at peace with myself? Oh and I've changed, alot.

 

[Colbyg123]

This might be quite a read so bear with me if you can. Thank you if you will.

 

Backstory;

Me and my girlfriend broke up around a year ago. We were both unhappy and thinking about braking up, she pulled the plug and I was the dumpee that tried to get her back, twice.

 

We were together only for a few months but we fell for eachother deaply, like never before, both sides. We were sexually atracted to eachother, our minds clicked and out hearts connected. However, the relationship felt like we've lived on two seperate islands and just couldn't come together. It may have been because of our fear of commitment and inability to form healthy boundaries, we cocreated this but my I must admit I was the "driving force" so to speak.. Our relationship had toxic elements and we had no communication. We were unaware of the dynamics we were creating.

Reflecting back on the relationship, I'm unsure of couple of things..

1. When she was mean to me, did she try to push me away? Or secrectly hoping for me to stand up to her and draw the line.

2.Why did she broke up with me? Did I do something wrong(Not being man enough, or just innability for our "islands to come together") or did she just see us "uncompatible"

 

Why does it matter to me;

If she dumped me because I did something wrong or I just didnt meet her needs and not wanting to get back with me would confuse me because I'm a kind of man that works on himself, I study and grow day by day. I also went to therapy for self improvment.

Or if she dumped me because genuenly something about me or relationship wasnt working for her that cannot be improved or worked on.

 

What has happened recently;

We havebumped into eachother few times lately and we have both shown some feelings for eachother. Her face light up on couple occasions and my heart opened for her twice. We only had small talk. But my mind instantly becomes full, because of all the things I just told you guys. And it fuels into this wall between us, which is a little annoying since we are both from the same social cirlcle. Apart from that I have no problem being around her even tho I'm not 100% over her.

 

 

Question;

Should I talk to her about all this? Do I need to so I could be at peace with myself? Oh and I've changed, alot.

 

 

Just for your sake have that conversation. But make sure you aren’t pushy or emotional. Confidence in this situation will probably move mountains. Space can heal as long as there is space given. But if you don’t have that conversation and have it honestly you will always regret it. There’s not much to lose. Just make sure oh take her answer and reply genuinely and don’t blow it up.