I feel weird around my friend

[Commongoal123]

Hey Shackers,

 

I'll keep this brief.

 

I have a history of dating NPD/BPD/Cluster B type women, and I identify part of me as codependent. I've grown to expect myself and these types to be like magnets, so I keep an eye out for it while trying to refrain from being over vigilant about it in both romantic relationship and friendship.

 

I have a friend who is a mutual friend between myself and my ex gf; in fact, he is the reason we met. He has a partner and children, but while dating my ex I saw and heard him interacting in ways with her which were inappropriate.

 

Historically, he has been seemingly an emotionally available friend, and has been supportive. Our conversations usually take unexpected turns into depth and substance. We talk about good things, negative things, and usually the conversation is pretty equal (neither of us dominate it).

 

He is also a very popular musician in the area, and his social media posts, of which he has many followers, seem to sometimes be attention seeking (such as acting really upset over the death of a celebrity, and the like).

 

For whatever reason, when I see him, I feel at an unease. I cannot figure out why.

 

Last time we hung out, I felt like some things he was saying were indirectly iliciting self doubt within myself. And Ibam unsure if it was a covert tactic, or just my own **** surfacing.

 

Could it be that I am intuitively picking up on NPD-like traits, or covert narcissism-like traits? Or is it that I am feeling unease because interacting with him is in some way a form of "breaking" no contact with my ex?

 

Any thoughts or stories to share?

 

-Common

[Foxhall]

 

 

 

"Historically, he has been seemingly an emotionally available friend, and has been supportive. Our conversations usually take unexpected turns into depth and substance. We talk about good things, negative things, and usually the conversation is pretty equal (neither of us dominate it).

 

He is also a very popular musician in the area, and his social media posts, of which he has many followers, seem to sometimes be attention seeking (such as acting really upset over the death of a celebrity, and the like)."

 

My reading of this- I dont see it in terms of any personality disorders,

 

you have opened up a fair bit to this chap, you know each others demons etc,

 

now your conscious of his success as a musician and this is making you a little edgy,

 

you feel "weird" around him because you are worried he is kicking ahead better than you and so on,

 

I would just say find something yourself that you enjoy and pursue it- complete a triathlon or whatever and boost your own morale.

[lovesflame]

Hey you helped me a lot common

Please email me I wanted to talk

 

[email protected]