BaileyB Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 They wouldn’t come with me. He’s proposing I leave, kids stay and I come back every morning to care for them and stay to work at our home office. Well, that certainly works out well for him. How’s it going to work for you? Why would your kids not come with you? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 Well, that certainly works out well for him. How’s it going to work for you? More importantly OP what do you think the kids would think about that arrangement? Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 Get a lawyer, OP. This thing is not civil at all. He's all about revenge and that's def not good for the kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ItsameMaria Posted July 9, 2019 Author Share Posted July 9, 2019 Why would your kids not come with you? He believes it’s best they stay in their home. Semi-uninterrupted. I, of course am not agreeing to this bc their quality of care would decrease if he takes on more responsibility around the house to make up for me being gone. Also not what’s best for the kids. Our kids go to private school so if one of us left, and the kids stayed home, they could continue to go to that school. If we completely divorce and sell the house, they are unable to attend since two places would be more expensive. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 two places would be more expensive Well, yes. In the short term it would make sense to stay where you are and keep the living arrangements the same. Just because your STBX wants you to move, doesn't mean you have to. But after the divorce is done, living with your ex-husband long term is a really bad idea. Unless the kids have almost finished school, you're going to face that problem sooner or later anyway. How do you propose to solve it? As has been mentioned many times, you need to see a lawyer sooner rather than later to discuss these issues. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 Perhaps, if he is so concerned about the children he would consider that the two of you would eventually rotate in and out of the house. That way, the kids would have consistency but you would not be living together - because that is not sustainable long term. How old are your children? The sad reality of this situation is that they may have to change school. Life changes for everyone with divorce and you may not be able to pay for their private school anymore... especially if you have to pay for two homes. And yes, you need to get yourself a lawyer - yesterday. Your husband is all about revenge and you need to protect yourself, and your children. Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 Just never use your children as a means to hurt the other. Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 I agree with Mr Lucky. Neither of you are focusing on the children who are the most important thing in this. You do what's best for them. It's not about what you want or what you get. Link to post Share on other sites
notbroken Posted August 14, 2019 Share Posted August 14, 2019 Divorce seems inevitable - and so does the changes that come along with it. Your kids aren't going to be able to go to private school nor live in that house. The sooner you sell it, establish custody arrangements, and get them in a new school the better. You are delaying the inevitable and causing them even more pain. Make a realistic plan and execute it as soon as possible for your kids benefit. Honestly, you make it sound like it is all your husband's fault for opening the marriage. Seems there is plenty of blame to go around. Realistically, it doesn't even matter. Now you find yourself inevitably divorced and have to find the best way possible forward for your children. I would look into getting them in a local school asap so they don't have to change in the middle of the year. Link to post Share on other sites
Buffer Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 They wouldn’t come with me. He’s proposing I leave, kids stay and I come back every morning to care for them and stay to work at our home office. What is wrong with this? You get to see the children, work and go back to your new partner. Would you accept the reverse if the children went with him to his new place? Link to post Share on other sites
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