DK092 Posted June 29, 2019 Share Posted June 29, 2019 Hey guys recently I have been ghosted by a woman. We texted like 5 days beforehand and had great banter as well as discussions about deep topics and light sexting. As we spontaneously met up 3 days ago, the date initially went well and we both knew that we would eventually have sex that night. Thing is, I wasn't really feeling it that night. It wasn't because of her looks or anything (she is a real stunner) but more that I generally wasn't feeling like having sex that day because I was so exhausted from work and so tired. We got along really well initially and she gave me a lot of opportunities to go in and kiss her but I didn't act for above mentioned reasons. As we ended the date and we walked to the train station, I just grabbed and kissed her. It was a passionate and good kiss and we both enjoyed it. Because it was really late, no train was driving anymore so I had to walk home (the place we met was like 2 hours away from me). Things got a little awkward here because this is usually the point where both go to each others place and have sex. Because I basically killed the mood by not making advances when she wanted me to, she was more than likely turned off by that so she just asked me if it is okay if we don't go to her place this time. I just remained cool and clam and told her it's okay. Then she told me to message her once I arrived home (which I did) and we parted ways. I had to walk back like 10 kilometers and 2 hours in total but I used this time to reflect on what just happened. Anyway, since then she hasn't replied. Fortunately I am not emotionally invested in her yet so her ghosting me doesn't hurt that much. What hurts me a lot more is the fact that I missed a good opportunity there. So, how do I cope with this and how do you usually handle ghosting? Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 29, 2019 Share Posted June 29, 2019 I'm not sure why you think she was turned off that you didn't pursue her for sex when she specifically "asked if it was OK" that you didn't go to her place..... Sounds like she might have been more turned off by being grabbed and kissed. Are you sure she enjoyed it? Why are you assuming she wanted sex so bad and that's the reason she ghosted you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DK092 Posted June 29, 2019 Author Share Posted June 29, 2019 I'm not sure why you think she was turned off that you didn't pursue her for sex when she specifically "asked if it was OK" that you didn't go to her place..... Sounds like she might have been more turned off by being grabbed and kissed. Are you sure she enjoyed it? Why are you assuming she wanted sex so bad and that's the reason she ghosted you? To clarify, I didn't just grab her against her will. I was slow in doing it and we were holding hands beforehand. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 29, 2019 Share Posted June 29, 2019 My guess, she was not ready to have sex with you that night. The date was probably a bit lack lustre from her point of view, so she had made up her mind that sex was a no-go. You get to the railway station, you realise it is a long walk home so you grabbed her and kissed her, hoping you could stay at her place. She smelled a rat, this guy who was lukewarm all evening is now all over her like a rash as soon as sex is on the cards or he just needs a bed for the night... She didn't like that, she went "No way Mister" and told you her place was off limits. Once she thought about it, she likely felt you tried to trick her, so she bailed and ghosted. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 29, 2019 Share Posted June 29, 2019 I agree with elaine.... I think you misread her level of interest in you.... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 29, 2019 Share Posted June 29, 2019 Your expectations seem way off to me. Why would think some woman you met off OLD would be DTF the day you met her? That seems out of the norm to me & way too fast. Second, if you were tired & giving off an I don't care vibe, she probably picked up on that & thought you were rejecting her. Did you mention something about having to walk home? She may have been turned off by that choice. All in all you shouldn't be all that emotionally invested or upset that somebody you met once didn't call you back. Yes responding would have been more polite but she's still a stranger so what difference does it make? Link to post Share on other sites
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