Really good date

[basil67]

Knitting is great - and super portable too. I used to do it years ago when I was commuting. I could do cables and things, but never ventured into more complicated things such as fair isle (sp?). I'm so glad youtube is around now because there aren't a lot of women around us who can teach anymore. I think baby clothes would be lovely to knit - perhaps one day when I'm a grandma, I will try. I particularly have a thing with knitted and crocheted tea cozies. Were you able to pass on your skills to anyone else around you?

 

(ZA, this is why we discuss hobbies - it's not about the hobby per se, but forming a connection. jspice knows that a lot of crafters have skills across a number of areas and suggested something she does in response. If we were work mates, I could see this commonality becoming quite a bond)

[jspice]

Precisely! This is how you build a bond.

 

I love YouTube for the videos too. I have one friend who’s an avid knitter but in my immediate circle I’m the only one.

My sister says she wants to learn but she’s not really into it. I’m hoping to buy a sewing machine to learn to sew.

 

My friend just made the most beautiful kimono.

 

ZADater: do you see what we did there?

 

We live on opposite sides of the world but we found a common bond. Basil 67 mentioned becoming a grandmother in the future. I don’t have kids. I’ll never be a grandmother but I didn’t throw my hands in the air and say “ well I’m a single woman who has no kids. I don’t have anything in common with her!”

[basil67]

Precisely! This is how you build a bond.

 

I love YouTube for the videos too. I have one friend who’s an avid knitter but in my immediate circle I’m the only one.

My sister says she wants to learn but she’s not really into it. I’m hoping to buy a sewing machine to learn to sew.

 

My friend just made the most beautiful kimono.

 

So many people tell me that they want to sew like I do, but they have no idea how much time I've spent learning and they're not prepared to put in the effort. Or they dismiss FB but don't realise there are so many great private groups who love to share skills and info. And there's so many things that I attempt which get thrown in the bin followed by a string of swear words and a couple of glasses of wine. I consider them all to be "learning experiences".

 

It would be nice if your sister learns. My 20yo daughter recently asked for a granny square crochet blanket. But I told her that she had to learn and make squares too. It took a while, but my RSI kicked and she had to pick it up. She's now at the stage where she feels odd sitting in front of the TV without her hands moving.

 

My comment about being a grandmother was kind of lighthearted comment I'd say at a party. But since we're now at a cafe and sharing, I don't know if I will ever be a grandmother. My son has autism and judging on his current trajectory, won't ever be a father and my daughter worries that she'll have a child like him and then a parenthood like mine. (thinks to self: I am not mentioning your child free status in case you've been trying for years - I will let you offer that one up)

 

ZA: We've just gone from small talk into serious 'getting to know you stuff'. jspice may not want to go there....but I've given her a window to get to know me more deeply if she wants. Of course, you probably don't do domestic arts. But from what I wrote (and on the following post) you may be able to comment on photography. Or ask what's involved in making corsets...or why I wear them. A weird hobby opens up so many conversations. Or you could find out more about jspice from her comments.

[basil67]

OMG. I forgot to mention the Kimono. They are so beautiful. Did you ever read or watch Memoirs of a Geisha? I think the book was better than the movie, but isn't that always the case?

[jspice]

I did read the book! Never saw the movie. I’m such a “book is better” snob ?

 

I’ve read some of your posts where you mention your son’s autism. I can understand your daughter’s fear but she’s still so young. I don’t believe we really know ourselves till we’re deep into our thirties. Who knows which way her life will take her.

 

I’m 41, never married and never tried to have kids. It wasn’t in the cards for me but it was down to my choices. I’ve lived all over the world and that’s not always conducive to settling into a relationship.

 

I’m working on a thesis at the moment and don’t have time for much, but my next hobby will be finally learning to play my guitar ?

 

( ZA we’re not derailing your thread, promise. But you can see the progression. Join in for practice or just take some pointers from it. It’s pretty simple but you have to be genuinely interested in knowing about the person.)

[basil67]

ZA, you've just walked into the conversation and heard that jspice is working on a thesis and she thinks books are better than movies...so she's got brains. And wanting to learn guitar.....go on....run with it let us help you

[schlumpy]

I'm so glad youtube is around now because there aren't a lot of women around us who can teach anymore.

 

I strongly agree. Youtube has improved my guitar playing and singing to a more listenable range on both classical and folk guitar. I now play songs I never would have gone after if I was still trying to pick up the music by ear.

[schlumpy]

I'm sorry ladies I rudely interrupted the therapy session. Please continue as it is quite instructive.

[ZA Dater]

I did read the book! Never saw the movie. I’m such a “book is better” snob

 

( ZA we’re not derailing your thread, promise. But you can see the progression. Join in for practice or just take some pointers from it. It’s pretty simple but you have to be genuinely interested in knowing about the person.)

 

I'd agree the book is usually better but a well done movie can add visual weight to powerful words, for me a good example of this is The Great Gatsby, whilst the music wasn't period correct the movie itself did bring the superb writing of F Scott Fitzgerald to life. Do you have a favourite writer or a favourite book?

 

Have you read any book which make you question things, make you re assess yourself?

 

I don't really have an issue with conversation if there is something to talk about. I just don't think it really gets me to a point of connecting in a way that "well she finds me attractive".

[JuneL]

Which version of the Great Gatsby movie, the one staring Robert Redford or Leonardo Dicapro? In both movies, the choice of the female lead was a disaster!

Edited July 14, 2019 by JuneL

[ZA Dater]

Which version of the Great Gatsby movie, the one staring Robert Redford or Leonardo Dicapro? In both movies, the choice of the female lead was a disaster!

 

The latter and yes I would agree with you on that, however it could have been worse.

 

Had a lovely lunch today with K and a few club members, that friendship just works for whatever reason.

[JuneL]

The latter and yes I would agree with you on that, however it could have been worse.

 

 

How would you have answered differently if you were talking to your date? She asked you a quick question and made a quick comment on something brought up by YOU.

[Normm]

I actually was being slightly sarcastic but also slightly truthful. Most people don't get dry humour, I know other guys who use it and most people don't get their humour either.

 

Sarcasm doesn't work that way. By definition it's NOT truthful that's the whole point. If you don't know if you're serious or joking how can you possibly expect someone who just met you to figure it out?

[basil67]

I strongly agree. Youtube has improved my guitar playing and singing to a more listenable range on both classical and folk guitar. I now play songs I never would have gone after if I was still trying to pick up the music by ear.

 

My hubby's midlife crisis involved a guitar. He started with a teacher, but then moved to Youtube where he found a terrific source which has added to his repertoire. I don't know much about it other than taking my daughter to lessons, but I suspect that picking up by ear is something which is easier when one has more experience.

[basil67]

Sarcasm doesn't work that way. By definition it's NOT truthful that's the whole point. If you don't know if you're serious or joking how can you possibly expect someone who just met you to figure it out?

 

My ex-h used to do sarcasm which was so dry that it was undetectable. I'd get offended and he'd say it was sarcasm. I think it was just obnoxiousness.

[MaleIntuition]

The latter and yes I would agree with you on that, however it could have been worse.

 

Had a lovely lunch today with K and a few club members, that friendship just works for whatever reason.

 

Who is K and what club?

[elaine567]

Who is K and what club?

 

K - work colleague and long term crush of ZA Dater.

She has a bf and is not interested romantically in ZA Dater.

 

Club - I guess Supercar club.

[jspice]

This exercise is futile due to the ever-present K ?

[basil67]

The latter and yes I would agree with you on that, however it could have been worse.

 

Had a lovely lunch today with K and a few club members, that friendship just works for whatever reason.

 

ZA did you let the conversation fail because you're not interested in talking with us? Or was it an accident?

 

If it was an accident, let's start over. Drop in on any conversation using things posted by me, jspice, junel or schlumpy. There's lots of fodder and we're all actively engaged. I'd also suggest writing as you speak, rather than in correct prose. This is casual now.

 

To get us back on the right track:

 

I haven't seen TGG nor read the book. Is it heavy going or easy to read? In terms of visual impact, have you seen or read The Dressmaker? It's modern Australian gothic. While the movie loses a lot from the book, the visual impact of the movie makes it worth watching regardless. The mood is captured well and the outback Australian landscape is so majestic.

 

I can't think of a book which has made me question things or reassess myself. I just read for pleasure. What books have done this for you? And what discoveries did you make?

 

Speaking of books, I installed a Street Library out the front of my place. It's a book exchange for the locals. Do you have them there? I meet so many nice people who are putting books in and taking them out.

 

jspice, what an amazing life you must have had. I can't imagine living all over the world. Are there any places which you hold very close to your heart?

 

What is your thesis about?

[jspice]

Which version of the Great Gatsby movie, the one staring Robert Redford or Leonardo Dicapro? In both movies, the choice of the female lead was a disaster!

 

Robert Redford hands down.

 

Leonard Dicaprio never appealed to me, either as an actor or crush-worthy movie star. I don’t know why.

[jspice]

ZA did you let the conversation fail because you're not interested in talking with us? Or was it an accident?

 

jspice, what an amazing life you must have had. I can't imagine living all over the world. Are there any places which you hold very close to your heart?

 

What is your thesis about?

 

Seriously. I don’t think we’re that interesting to talk to it seems ?

 

Two months ago I moved for the 25th time. I’m ready to settle down, I think.

Each place became home to me but my heart will always be wherever my family is.

As for breathtakingly beautiful, Hawaii. I’d love to go back to visit.

 

My thesis isn’t too exciting, I’m afraid. It’s about finding the best way to teach grammar to English learners. Even my classmates aren’t enthused about my topic but I love languages and their rules and how we put them together. It’s fascinating.

Do you speak any other languages?

 

I love your library idea! What a great community project. Do you get involved with other community work or volunteering?

[schlumpy]

It took me a minute to drag out a book I had reflected on quite a bit. That was "The Gulag Archipelago" by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. It was one powerful read. I could only nibble at the book 3 pages at a time. Then I had to sit there and process what I had read. I realized my imagination was no match for Aleksandr's reality.

 

The best all around book and character study that I have ever read is "Pride and Prejudice." It was amazing (and extremely gratifying) how every plot point came together in such a satisfying conclusion. I do wish that there was more personal material on Jane available. I usually do not wish to know much about an author's life but with her - I make an enthusiastic exception.

[JuneL]

 

Leonard Dicaprio never appealed to me, either as an actor or crush-worthy movie star.

 

Couldn’t agree more. I actually felt the same about Brad Pitt, albeit to a lesser extent

[JuneL]

 

My thesis isn’t too exciting, I’m afraid. It’s about finding the best way to teach grammar to English learners.

 

 

Did you mean to those whose first language is not English? It probably also depends on their specific native language, right?

[basil67]

Seriously. I don’t think we’re that interesting to talk to it seems ?

 

Two months ago I moved for the 25th time. I’m ready to settle down, I think.

Each place became home to me but my heart will always be wherever my family is.

As for breathtakingly beautiful, Hawaii. I’d love to go back to visit.

 

My thesis isn’t too exciting, I’m afraid. It’s about finding the best way to teach grammar to English learners. Even my classmates aren’t enthused about my topic but I love languages and their rules and how we put them together. It’s fascinating.

Do you speak any other languages?

 

I love your library idea! What a great community project. Do you get involved with other community work or volunteering?

 

@jspice, I do hope we're not all that boring. It's not like we have started talking about reality TV....which I refuse to watch...give me a good BBC production any day.

 

Where is your family? I took the family to Hawaii a few years back. We spent a few days on the Big Island and then spent more time in Waikiki and toured around there. With hindsight, Waikiki only needs two days and I'd see Maui. I found Thailand stunning too. There are so many places I'd like to go.

 

I think your thesis is not boring at all. I've worked as a teacher's aide in grade school and now how hard it can be. As we say to the little ones when they make a mistake "English is a stupid language!" ESL at an adult level would make it so much more difficult again. Grammar is important in how we are perceived by the world. If English is a person's first language, not knowing there, they're and their reflects very poorly on them. Sadly, no second language here....my only other communication is preschool level sign language which I learned to communicate with my son while he was still non verbal. He took to it like a duck to water. I bet you learned a lot of language in your travels. Which are your strongest languages?

 

Yes, the library is great fun. The other thing which has taken up a lot of my time is activism in a residents action group arguing against terrible over development in our community. 13 years of it has left us exhausted and now there's a new, more reasonable developer and we can finally rest.