alphamale Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 why is this thread still going? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 I went back and did a 5 hour experiment with fake picture, same sort of athletic build as I have..got 20x more matches. Yet women aren't superficial... How the heck can you be anything BUT superficial when a picture is all you have to work with! Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 no doubt you are an intelligent guy, hmmn, I think it will all work out for you yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 Your attributes are not unique. No you shouldn’t settle because that’s really insulting to the person you “settled” for. I’d be offended if someone “settled” for me and every time they looked at me, they thought they could do better. this could make an interesting new thread, how many people actually marry someone but they have this thought at the back of their mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 I went back and did a 5 hour experiment with fake picture, same sort of athletic build as I have..got 20x more matches. Yet women aren't superficial... And yet it's ok for you to handpick the select few women you'd be interested in dating and discard the rest for reasons that many would consider to be superficial. Maybe admit that women are also at fault. Maybe concede my situation is not all my own fault Dude it's totally all your fault. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 ZA, we all wish you success, but it's hard to have sympathy for you when you're such a raving hypocrite, thinking it's fine for you to be picky about looks but it's so, so wrong for a woman to not be interested in you because you aren't attractive to her and hate her for it. If you hate her for that, you should hate yourself as well! It's the exact same thing. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 I went back and did a 5 hour experiment with fake picture, same sort of athletic build as I have..got 20x more matches. Yet women aren't superficial... And if an overweight woman did the same thing, you'd match with her too. Pot...kettle....black 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Morello Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 I have a sense that ZA Dater may be asexual. That is the only explanation for more than 30 years without sex and still not settling for 'average'. Anyone with normal libido would just go for it. I could have sex with a hole in the wall if I had waited for 30+ years. Maybe this is some kind of excuse. He tries the '10' girls because he knows he won't get them and won't have to go to bed with them and get called out for not really wanting to have sex. It's just playing safe. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 ^^^ I brought up a similar point in one of his earlier threads. ZA: Do you have sexual desires (for women) at all? You also avoided my question about wanting to take a high-quality gf to show off at your event. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 Not seeing ZA as gay or asexual. He's made a life mission out of trying to meet a girl. Socially awkward or inept, sure. Aspergers, most likely. Rigid, inflexible, close minded and unwilling or unable to make significant changes, absolutely. Hypocritical and bitter? No doubt. But gay? Nah not seeing it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted July 17, 2019 Author Share Posted July 17, 2019 (edited) ^^^ I brought up a similar point in one of his earlier threads. ZA: Do you have sexual desires (for women) at all? You also avoided my question about wanting to take a high-quality gf to show off at your event. Sure I want sex BUT it needs to be someone I find physically and mentally attractive. Its not about showing anyone off its about actually taking someone who can cut it in that sort of environment. I wont lie for a new person you would need supreme levels of self confidence in this environment, K is super intelligent and confident and it took her a while to fit in with these people. This date would have been perfectly at ease in that environment by virtue of her life experience so far and she had the combination of looks and intellect I find extremely attractive. The fact she doesn't drink, doesn't party made it seem like a good fit in my opinion. People say its a numbers thing and yes it is, the numbers help me decide what I absolutely don't want. People chase sex and I get it, even I have tried this before but when you cant get second dates getting sex on date 1 is next to impossible. Add the fact I don't drink and its become frankly impossible. Yes I have had opportunities with people I didn't find attractive at all, again that has no appeal to me either. Edited July 17, 2019 by ZA Dater Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted July 17, 2019 Author Share Posted July 17, 2019 significant changes, absolutely. Hypocritical and bitter? No doubt. But gay? Nah not seeing it. You keep typing this but cannot tell me what these changes are? Or is it once again the same old washed up dating coach argument? I could accept this point of view if every person walking this earth needed a dating coach but they don't. You'd be surprised I can pull the odd chameleon trick on dates and be someone completely different, heck at this stage I might as well do that and see what sort of reaction I get. Except the problem is after this date the bar has been raised again and its a case of trying to find the same sort of person, which will be incredibly difficult. On each date I try different things, try get a bit better at reading people so yes I do actually try, its not a case of the same old. In the back of my mind I know I can get it work with the right sort of person but that opportunity never arrives. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 You keep typing this but cannot tell me what these changes are? Or is it once again the same old washed up dating coach argument? I could accept this point of view if every person walking this earth needed a dating coach but they don't. No, not everyone needs a dating coach. That's because life's cards aren't dealt evenly. Some people get given a great hand and others need help. That said, I'm not pushing a dating coach. But I would like to see you engage in casual conversation with us. There were about four of us who are ready to go. One poster even directly responded with a response about a book which has made him reconsider his ideas. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted July 17, 2019 Author Share Posted July 17, 2019 (edited) No, not everyone needs a dating coach. That's because life's cards aren't dealt evenly. Some people get given a great hand and others need help. That said, I'm not pushing a dating coach. But I would like to see you engage in casual conversation with us. There were about four of us who are ready to go. One poster even directly responded with a response about a book which has made him reconsider his ideas. I think I reconsider my ideas on a daily basis, isn't that the point of life? However, its pointless to me to consider an idea which is not as nice as another simply because, well that idea is deemed to be easier. Perhaps what does come across here is I am deemed to be intense, even when I try not to be. How much of this is as a result of constant rejection I don't really know. When it comes to books I prefer history and biographies over fiction and apparently self help. At the moment I am enjoying re looking at Russian history from the late 1800's to the fall of the royal family. There is a fairly good series on at the moment which covers this in an interesting way. Edited July 17, 2019 by ZA Dater Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 I can already see that your way of engaging in a conversation is rather dull, very much like how an elementary school kid answers a question in the exam. Do you have a couple of great biographies to recommend? Personally, I love the few recent ones by Walter Isaacson. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 “Its not about showing anyone off its about actually taking someone who can cut it in that sort of environment. I wont lie for a new person you would need supreme levels of self confidence in this environment, K is super intelligent and confident and it took her a while to fit in with these people.” ^^^ Perhaps that’s one big concern of your date: This guy is so extremely socially awkward. How is he going to fit in when I take him to meet my friends, my extended family, my co-workers? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted July 17, 2019 Author Share Posted July 17, 2019 Depends how you define awkward. If its being interest in politics and world affairs at the expense of gossip then I suppose yes. I am quite happy to converse but when the topic is about who is dating who, who went out where, who's bf did this. I tend to not bother getting involved. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 Depends how you define awkward. If its being interest in politics and world affairs at the expense of gossip then I suppose yes. I am quite happy to converse but when the topic is about who is dating who, who went out where, who's bf did this. I tend to not bother getting involved. You claimed to be a book lover. When you’re passionate about something, your passion is contagious. I hope your way of engaging in conversations about politics and world affairs is not nearly as dull. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted July 17, 2019 Author Share Posted July 17, 2019 I can already see that your way of engaging in a conversation is rather dull, very much like how an elementary school kid answers a question in the exam. Do you have a couple of great biographies to recommend? Personally, I love the few recent ones by Walter Isaacson. Oh well, dull it is then. Thanks. I did recently finish a large volume on FD Roosevelt. My reading time is extremely limited to so I tend to read sporadically at best. The reality is most of my day is spent working to some extent be it arranging events, or normal work. Every so often I'll watch series, slanted more toward drama's than science fiction. I am still busy writing a novel which is progressing slowly but so far I am happy with it. Probably the only thing people do want to know about me on dates is the novel. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted July 17, 2019 Author Share Posted July 17, 2019 You claimed to be a book lover. When you’re passionate about something, your passion is contagious. I hope your way of engaging in conversations about politics and world affairs is not nearly as dull. Never said I was a book lover, I simply stated I read books from time to time. My enthusiasm for things is directly in relation to the person sitting in front of me, if its someone who actually can debate, does know something about the topics then I will be enthusiastic, if not why should I even bother. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 Debate for the sake of debating? When you said debate, you automatically assumed you’re in opposition positions. What if the person in front of you is interested in discussing whether Mr Darcy or Mr Bingley would make a better partner? Is that gossip or debate?? Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 p.s. Which FD Roosevelt biography did you read? How/why did you pick this particular biographer/writer? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted July 17, 2019 Author Share Posted July 17, 2019 Mr Darcy or Mr Bingley would make a better partner? Is that gossip or debate?? Probably both. I like people to have 1: Some knowledge 2: Some opinion Alas apparently dating is about those, the first date should be nonsense speak, light, funny, full of humour and asking her what her interests are, where she grew up, what school she went. Woe you ever ask why you elected to go into a certain work field. No, cant ask such difficult questions now can we. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted July 17, 2019 Author Share Posted July 17, 2019 p.s. Which FD Roosevelt biography did you read? How/why did you pick this particular biographer/writer? I actually cannot off hand recall who the writer is. I simply bought the book because it was large, the dusk jacket made it seem like a good read and I have been fascinated by the man who to a large extent shaped the world we live in today. I have attempted to read Hell Fire but perhaps like the dates I go on, the first few pages were particularly dull, I need to put in more effort into actually reading this book. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 Woe you ever ask why you elected to go into a certain work field. No, cant ask such difficult questions now can we. Why would you think this is a difficult question? There’s nothing wrong with asking that on the first date. But you don’t want to be judgmental about her choice! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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