MeadowFlower Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 If anyone on here has no friends or maybe just a couple, this is where we can talk about it. Maybe even make new friends through here. Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 Thanks MeadowFlower… Here is my rant. I struggle with this a lot... reflecting a lot about this very subject. That would be me... sort of... What I have found is that the older I get friendships change. They are not like they are when we are in school and young adults years where we all hang out doing stuff together. I have lots of friends but they live all over the world so it's hard to have an everyday type of relationship with them. Boyfriend, girlfriend, husbands, wife's, kids, careers… many things replace those times. People come and go in our lives. As far as having friends in where I currently live has been a great challenge. People are just not into letting outsiders into their circles. I don't know why.... but I have run into this problem many times over. I get a new job and I meet new people. We click and get along really well... enough for lunch out and walks on breaks... stuff like that but outside of work...forget it. I never had this kind of problem in any other place that I lived not until I moved here. Every where else I had lots of friends. People I could interact with everyday. People would stopped bye all the time or I had places I could go visit... but not here. This has been the most unfriendly place ever. Believe me I have tried many different things to make friends here and I have made some friends but they just don't invite me to the BBQ or Christmas party or wedding or... heck maybe I really don't have friends here. It's really hard not having anyone to talk with... but then again I do have major trust issues. The closest person I have had to a best friend in years is my workout buddy... but currently I'm not spending much time with her. I made the mistake of confiding in her about my xMM. The last few times I tried talking with her about him she would pull up his fb page and shove the picture of him and his wife in my face... that really sucked… I was a bit put off when I discovered that she was cyber stalking him and his family... even though I've been in NC for over 7 months now including deactivating my social media... If I am avoiding him at all cost I sure don't need a friend checking up on him and trying to keep me updated. Still... I miss having people to interact with. I feel so alone most of the time. I am not really up to making friends on the internet though. I have been catfished too many times and have a major distrust of people because of it. I even disabled the personal messages on here after someone messed with my head and tried to recently catfish me... I'm just too damaged at this point to trust anyone other than someone standing right in front of me. I hope I am not this jaded forever... Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted July 1, 2019 Author Share Posted July 1, 2019 I have two friends, both of which are family, which doesn't make them any less of a friend. I did have another friend but that isn't really going at the moment kinda. It would be nice to have a close friend. Someone who actually likes me and wants to spend time with me. And who will stay. Anyway.... Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 I have very few people to talk with through the month. Well, you could talk to your favorite merchants at stores, the library, church or fitness club or where you go. Or at an art show. The employees will at least answer you. It is easier talking to the same gender because otherwise some pickup stuff is assumed usually. People will talk especially when there is something in it for them, some payoff. Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 Not trying to get sentimental, but I really don't feel I have anyone I can call a friend. My best friend died almost three years ago in mid August, and honestly, I absolutely haven't been the same since. I thought that at least I had found someone else shortly afterwards, but she was full of it. She just took advantage of a bad situation to benefit herself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 Sorry you lost your friend. That sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
rainbow12 Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 (edited) I never had this kind of problem in any other place that I lived not until I moved here. Every where else I had lots of friends. People I could interact with everyday. People would stopped bye all the time or I had places I could go visit... but not here. This has been the most unfriendly place ever. Believe me I have tried many different things to make friends here and I have made some friends but they just don't invite me to the BBQ or Christmas party or wedding or... heck maybe I really don't have friends here. :(/QUOTE] So did you move to the place you don't like because of a job you needed to have? Did you ever make arrangements first to meet up with your acquaintances outside of work? Edited July 5, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote edited Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 Sorry you lost your friend. That sucks. Thanks, preraph. Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 (edited) @rainbow12 I moved here to escape domestic violence situation. I went from a small town of 3,000 people to a large city of 40,000. Yes I have made lots of effort to connect with people outside of work. I have made at least one friend at each position that I have had. Every once in awhile I reach out to them and invite them to lunch and they accept. If I don't do the inviting then I never see them... after awhile I just get tried of doing all the reaching out and they only ever just want lunch. I can't recall all the thing that I have tried but off the top of my head... I started a music fan club and made some friends there. We currently have over a 100 members and still get together when our favorite band comes to town which is rarely. I joined a hiking club but didn't like all the rules. I've taken classes at local college and local recreation center. I tried all the churches in my area. The last one that I liked decided to have a serious of sermons on how a wife should submit to their husbands. As a single woman... you get tried of hearing this kind of preaching. I don't believe in organized religion anyway. I do volunteer work at different places. I really like to change things up because I get bored... Edited July 1, 2019 by Rayce Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 All my friends are in my phone or some are on Facebook. If your not on these platforms. Then your an acquaintance. Nothing can be really even. People are busy and we all have to respect that. As long as my friend can get back to me in a short time. All is well. I have about 20 people I call friends. Everyone else is an acquaintance. Link to post Share on other sites
heartbrokenlady Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 I have friends, but because I've moved around the world so much, only 1 or 2 are in my (current) town/country. I'm not a particularly sociable person, but now that I'm accepting I'll be single for the rest of my life, am trying in a very low key way to interact with people a little more. I'm going to be very lonely if I don't make some effort! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted July 4, 2019 Author Share Posted July 4, 2019 One thing with having no or few friends, is you've kinda got no one to come with you to things. Like the movies or a gym class. Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 Here is a pro of having little to no friends... less drama. The more people you have in your life the more drama you have. lol... I agree it's not much fun doing stuff alone but I get cabin fever so I have to venture out eventually. lol.. Have a nice 4th MedowFlower! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
rainbow12 Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 @rainbow12 I moved here to escape domestic violence situation. I went from a small town of 3,000 people to a large city of 40,000. Yes I have made lots of effort to connect with people outside of work. I have made at least one friend at each position that I have had. Every once in awhile I reach out to them and invite them to lunch and they accept. If I don't do the inviting then I never see them... after awhile I just get tried of doing all the reaching out and they only ever just want lunch. I can't recall all the thing that I have tried but off the top of my head... I started a music fan club and made some friends there. We currently have over a 100 members and still get together when our favorite band comes to town which is rarely. I joined a hiking club but didn't like all the rules. I've taken classes at local college and local recreation center. I tried all the churches in my area. The last one that I liked decided to have a serious of sermons on how a wife should submit to their husbands. As a single woman... you get tried of hearing this kind of preaching. I don't believe in organized religion anyway. I do volunteer work at different places. I really like to change things up because I get bored... The ones that don't invite you are not really worth it. They probably went because they wanted a free meal off you. People are like that, they are anti social and they may seem like they are social when they talk among with other people but really they are not. You did all the efforts you could and I guess having a special someone in your life is all down to luck and the right place at the right time. Link to post Share on other sites
Sam2020 Posted July 7, 2019 Share Posted July 7, 2019 Real friends, like who would offer to take me in if I became homeless? I have one who would not hesitate. The other five, maybe. I only tell my deepest secrets to the one who I've known most of my life because she's a natural nurturer and is like a big sister to me. I don't make friends easily, probably because I'm a bit impatient and picky about people. Plus I have difficulty trusting people sometimes because of past "friends" who have simply taken advantage of me. A couple of years ago I made friends with someone who was here temporarily. I'm generally reserved so all my close friends tend to be gregarious which allows me to open up. Link to post Share on other sites
.thumb.jpeg.56e67a05e0caac554e185e2bfbc79b36.jpeg)
Recommended Posts