Mrin Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 OP. Dude here. 1. You didn't mess up at all. You were just fine. 2. He's a single dude and the path to a man's heart is through his stomach. Cook him something tasty. Put it in a Tupperware container that has your name and phone number on it somewhere and take it to him as thanks for fixing your mower and just ask him to return the Tupperware when he's done. If you don't already have Tupperware with your name and number on it just write it in there and give it a few scrubs so it fades a bit. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 Does everyone think like this??? Dating a neighbor is a bad Idea? I thought somehow it would be ideal. Hmm... don't fish off the company pier. That's interesting. lol. I dated a neighbour for a year. It didn't end well... but I don't see why it couldn't work out. I knew a couple who lived in the same apt complex. They dated for a few years then got married and had a bunch of kids 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fair Posted June 30, 2019 Author Share Posted June 30, 2019 JuneL I think baking brownies for him sounds mushy and... too much. It took him five minutes to fix my mower and then just left it there, not even looking for a thank you. I guess if he ever tries to get to know me in the future I'll see where it goes. As it stands I think I'll just sit back and let him take the lead if that's what he wants. I don't want to knock on his door at this point … it might just be embarrassing for us both. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fair Posted June 30, 2019 Author Share Posted June 30, 2019 OP. Dude here. 1. You didn't mess up at all. You were just fine. 2. He's a single dude and the path to a man's heart is through his stomach. Cook him something tasty. Put it in a Tupperware container that has your name and phone number on it somewhere and take it to him as thanks for fixing your mower and just ask him to return the Tupperware when he's done. If you don't already have Tupperware with your name and number on it just write it in there and give it a few scrubs so it fades a bit. Lol. Thanks for the suggestion, but I'm too much an introvert for that approach. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 I do think apartments would be different but a home you bought and made roots in I think to me it's just the risk/benefit doesn't equal out enough for me to risk it... I like my home, my neighbors are people that I can count on and give good feels rather than someone I dated that now gives me jeers each time we see each other on the driveway washing the cars... I do think you should knock on his door and thank him for working on your mower.. Go from there. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 I'm not jaded but I do understand that you don't fish off the company pier... so to speak I've owned homes most of my life, been in this one for 18 years and spent about 5 or so of those single but I can't for the life of me think it would be okay to date a neighbor.. that is a boundary for me and I think most people would just be friends with a neighbor rather than date them. I also would never do it (unless it was a rental community). It would be incredibly awkward if it didn't work out/you broke up. A few years ago my married neighbor hit on me, and we both still live here....it's awkward (for me anyway) and nothing even happened between us (besides me firmly shutting him down). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 2. He's a single dude and the path to a man's heart is through his stomach. Cook him something tasty. Put it in a Tupperware container that has your name and phone number on it somewhere and take it to him as thanks for fixing your mower and just ask him to return the Tupperware when he's done. If you don't already have Tupperware with your name and number on it just write it in there and give it a few scrubs so it fades a bit. hahaha Mrin you're hilarious. This is like a "trojan horse" scenario but I like it, great idea 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fair Posted June 30, 2019 Author Share Posted June 30, 2019 I also would never do it (unless it was a rental community). It would be incredibly awkward if it didn't work out/you broke up. A few years ago my married neighbor hit on me, and we both still live here....it's awkward (for me anyway) and nothing even happened between us (besides me firmly shutting him down). Well it all depends on the situation. I dated someone else who lives around the corner so we're neighbors too just we can't see each other's house at first glance. No particular awkwardness or angst between us. We barely run into each other anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 A few years ago my married neighbor hit on me, and we both still live here....it's awkward (for me anyway) and nothing even happened between us (besides me firmly shutting him down). We have a married neighbor that hit on some of the married women in the neighborhood thru texting. he was a stay at home Dad and had every woman's contact info..including my wife's... Him and his wife have gotten pretty quiet in the neighborhood after each of the woman compared notes... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 Well it all depends on the situation. I dated someone else who lives around the corner so we're neighbors too just we can't see each other's house at first glance. No particular awkwardness or angst between us. We barely run into each other anyway. That's a little different than being able to see each other's houses/what cars are in the driveway, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fair Posted June 30, 2019 Author Share Posted June 30, 2019 @cautiously I admit that would have been uncomfortable immediately after the break up and I'm glad I couldn't see his house from here. But no matter what, no break up is fun or without pain. Even if I could have seen his house and been jealous... it would have blown over. I think we play it too safe. Give up chances at happiness perhaps out of fear. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fair Posted June 30, 2019 Author Share Posted June 30, 2019 We have a married neighbor that hit on some of the married women in the neighborhood thru texting. he was a stay at home Dad and had every woman's contact info..including my wife's... Him and his wife have gotten pretty quiet in the neighborhood after each of the woman compared notes... I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only woman my ex was texting in this town, too and I could probably find women I could compare notes with but I just leave bad relationships behind and can't be bothered. I don't care enough. I would give my neighbor a chance if he wanted one. He's always been said to be a nice, kind person. I don't care that we're neighbors. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 JuneL I think baking brownies for him sounds mushy and... too much. It took him five minutes to fix my mower and then just left it there, not even looking for a thank you. I guess if he ever tries to get to know me in the future I'll see where it goes. As it stands I think I'll just sit back and let him take the lead if that's what he wants. I don't want to knock on his door at this point … it might just be embarrassing for us both. You don’t just bake the brownies for him. Next time when you bake something (cookies, etc.), bring him some, as you can’t finish all anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 You don’t just bake the brownies for him. Next time when you bake something (cookies, etc.), bring him some, as you can’t finish all anyway. how about making him some "wacky" brownies or cookies?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fair Posted July 1, 2019 Author Share Posted July 1, 2019 how about making him some "wacky" brownies or cookies?? what the heck is that? lol. Sorry folks, not the type that bakes for people not even ones I like. Link to post Share on other sites
snowcones Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 He was just being neighborly and it’s nice to see men being helpful. Forget about the idea of dating him. If he liked you, he didn’t say anything to you or make it clear so forget about it. Ask yourself why he didn’t ring your doorbell? Forget about it. Thank him next time you see him and leave it at that. Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 (edited) Fair, I think you should bake something and give him a portion of it. That's not over-the-top at all! You can just say you made it and wanted to share part of it with him, you don't have to take over ten pounds of whatever it is! When you give it to him smile really big! Even if you're nervous, make sure you smile and look him in the eyes. If there is anything you can ask him for an opinion on (fertilizer for your grass, anything pertaining to upkeep on your house) that would be great, too! It gives the two of you something to form a friendship over. I'd date a neighbor (and have) but would want to move slowly and get to know him as a friend first so that if I decided I wanted to keep it at a friendship I could. By the time the two of you are good friends you'd probably know if you'd want to take it any further. OK, editing this because I just read where you wrote you're the type who doesn't bake for anyone. In that case I would find some little something (you can buy him a couple of donuts, or a loaf of bread, the list of things you can buy he'd appreciate are endless) to take him as a thank you for fixing your mower. I'd do it for a neighbor who'd fixed my lawn mower who was a female or even someone I wasn't interested in dating. In my community when someone does us a favor we often give the person a little something, loaf of really good bread or something like that. It's a matter of being gracious. Edited July 1, 2019 by LivingWaterPlease 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 Wine is also a suitable gift 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fair Posted July 1, 2019 Author Share Posted July 1, 2019 Thanks for the suggestions everyone, but I'm not going to make any moves unless he makes it clear he wants to talk, get to know me. Right now he's given me nothing but a little bit of help with a mower. No gifts, no wine... I'm not going to look like I'm chasing him just because he helped me out today. Maybe it's different in the states vs. Canada, but up here we just say thanks... we don't show up bearing gifts as a way of saying it. If I did that I might well scare him because it's over and above what's expected around here. I'm just going to admit to myself he's likely not interested in me. That's ok, I'm happy with just a good neighbor. But sometimes first impressions aren't always correct and I guess I can still hope there's something else going on that will reveal itself in due time. In the meantime, at least my lawn mower is running properly. Gotta appreciate men and their mechanical skills. lol. Thanks everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 (edited) l dunno wth guys always wanna sleep with a woman comes from , l meet very very few woman l'd wanna sleep with , very very few, and l don't think l've ever had a neighbour l'd wanna sleep with. Well, cept some of the girls down thee road when l was a kid haha. lf he did he would've been knocking on your door or washing his car out front when he knows your home, a lot, and at least making himself known, long ago. Anyway, l think your being too hard on yourself, you really didn't sound too bad, really. And ya didn't go jumpin him haha, or asking him out, really it doesn't sound like much drama to me,relax. But yeah l do think he's only being neighbourly. Never know though , maybe he's shy as hell too and might come knockin yet seems as some ice is broken, did he seem shy ? Edited July 1, 2019 by chillii 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 This guy knows how to fix things.. That's one of the sexiest skills a man can have. Why would you let that slip through your fingers? Personally, I'd take his good deed as an opening to return the favor. Even if baking isn't your strong point, I'd make an exception, or at least find some way to let him know you appreciated what he did for you. If you do nothing, you may not get another opportunity to establish some rapport with him, and you'll miss out on a guy who can handle your mower. It's been years. He isn't going to suddenly start banging your door down for date with no signs of interest from you. This is your best chance to give him some subtle signs of encouragement. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fair Posted July 1, 2019 Author Share Posted July 1, 2019 @Scarlett But he didn't really give me any signs of encouragement, either. As someone else mentioned, he just offered help with the mower and didn't invite conversation which is why I felt it wasn't being rude to just leave it with him and slip back into the house. I have no reason to assume he had any motive other than to be helpful. I did say however, I won't pass up an opportunity to get to know him better if he offers the chance, but not before then. @Chilli I don't know if he was shy or not. He came up to my driveway slowly, like he didn't want to startle me, and then when I grinned and said hi, he didn't smile back. Don't know what that means but perhaps it means he didn't want there to be any misunderstanding at all that he'd come over to flirt. He just strictly wanted to help me. That's how I took it. However, I did mention in one of my earlier replies that he did come over to my house and knocked on the door shortly after I moved in but that I hadn't been able to answer it and never did find out what it was about. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 Ahhh, right , well that's different. lt might be worth just going over to thank him sometime then , never know, make sure his home. See he would've known you were home that first time so a slight maybe now since he thinks your just not interested and doesn't wanna bug ya, hence the coming over gingerly for the mower. Just be nice and friendly and appreciative, nothing on the line,well, unless your game, check out the reception. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 Bake him some brownies or cookies and take them over as a thank you. 100% Agree... Cookies or Brownies. I'd probably make molasses cookies, those are one of my favorites. I'd make a big batch... keep some for me, some for my neighbor. As a side note, the elderly couple (next door to me) always bring me apples after I trim the oleander hedge that is on the line. It is their way of saying "thank you" for keeping it trimmed to an acceptable height. The wife worries about "hooligans hiding in it" if it gets too tall. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 Enjoyed this post Fair, Are you a writer? great insight in fairness to the subtleties or at times awkwardness of interactions, lol you dont really want to leave it at this do you, well look you both have an excuse the next time you meet, easy conversation starter, why not see if there is some spark there, the baking idea also sounds good to me, you have to take a chance too at times not be always worrying about overstepping the mark and so on, good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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