Should I tell my friend this information?

[Eternal Sunshine]

An acquaintance of mine was recently employed by my company. It was totally independent of me - she is in a different team and in a different reporting line.

 

I actually only saw her randomly in a corridor. Since then, we went for coffee and she shared that she is worried that she is not doing well and that her contract position won't be made permanent.

 

This evening, I went to work dinner and was seated next to her manger's manager. As the conversation went on, I innocently asked how is the new girl doing. This manager has no clue that she is my friend. Anyway, the manager kept saying that she is brilliant and then went on to gush how proactive she is, how she figures out what needs to be done and then finds the right people to do it. Basically, everyone is thrilled and that her position will 100% be made permanent.

 

I really want to share this info with my acquaintance to make her feel better.

 

Am I breaching any confidentiality?

[d0nnivain]

Maybe.

 

What if you & this manager were talking about different "new girls"?

 

I'd say something like "I haven't heard anything bad." let her actual boss tell her the good news when it's official.

[Foxhall]

the fact that you refer to her as an acquaintance implies that you are not that close,

 

it it was a close friend who you could trust completely to keep it confidential perhaps yes but otherwise it is not really your place to tell,

 

In-addition, had you any real business asking the question in the first place,

 

She will find out the good news soon enough.

[littleblackheart]

I don't know about confidentiality breach, but certainly breach of trust.

 

Not sure the line manager would be happy you talking to their employee about their future before they get to do it.

 

Your friend may not understand why you were talking about her to her boss, irrespective of the circumstances.

 

Basically, it's not your place to tell imo. Her confidence will be much more boosted coming straight from her boss.

[alphamale]

don't do it ES...if they find out you are friends then you are in trouble

[preraph]

People sometimes try hardest when they're new, so I wouldn't tell her because she might become complacent. And yes, it is up to the manager how and what to share.

[ChatroomHero]

I don't see an issue with it. You don't have to be specific, I don't think anything would come back to you negatively. I usually won't tell people I work with bad news because not matter what, when they are backed into a corner, they'll usually throw you under the bus whether they intended you to or not. They'll say, "I know XXX because so and so told me", like it is their secret weapon. I have even had really good friends pull me into things where I swore them to keep it confidential, so at this point I just stay out of it.

 

 

Telling her good news might relieve her worry. At the same time, because it was good news and they like her, not telling her won't affect her negatively really. She'll find out over time she is doing well without you saying anything. I would say if you feel strongly and she is really worried, you could easily say you heard through the grapevine that her team is really impressed with her and from the things you heard, she doesn't need to worry. If she asks for specifics just tell her it was a conversation between you and someone else so you are not going to give details, but the people spoke highly of her and she is doing just fine. I can't see much wrong in telling someone that you heard over lunch that she us well liked and appreciated. 1. how would it really get back to anybody that you said that and 2. I can't think of any boss I had that would be unhappy if one employee told another employee the boss gave her a compliment.

 

 

It happens all the time, you'll hear from other employees that Boss really likes you, or I hear you're doing great work. If anything, it improves morale and I can guarantee her boss would not mind her knowing he spoke highly of her. Like I said though, refuse to get into any specifics and just give her the flavor of the conversation.

[Mr. Lucky]

Add me to the list of those advising silence. Not your place and you risk, deserved or not, getting in substantial trouble by doing so...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Eternal Sunshine]

Thanks all. I was really close to telling her but after reading this advice, I changed my mind.