light yagami Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 My son is 20 and has special needs. Cognitively I'd say he is similar to about a 13 yr old. I have gone through his phone before because of issues with a former girlfriend. When I did I found A Lot of other issues. Mainly an obsession he had developed on his 12 yr old cousin. He has dozens of pictures of her on his phone from social media and family pictures. He also talks about her constantly on Whisper and other similar apps. He has been in couneling for depression, a lot of which revolves around his physical issues (needs to use a walker or wheelchair). He seemed to be doing better, plus he has so many medical appointments , so he stopped going for a few years. After finding the posts and pictures I am thinking about putting him back in. But I don't want to over react. He hasn't done anything more than what a lot of people do when they develop a crush. Obviously the issue of his cousin being so young is extremely worrisome. Also I am not sure that a counselor could do anything. I just want to hear other people's thoughts Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 Counseling can't hurt. Keep him away from the cousin. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 How are you so sure nothing has happened? Have you asked the 12-year-old? I could give you examples of what MY older male special needs cousin did when his parents thought he surely was not doing anything and my sis and I just disliked him because of his speech impediment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 Also I am not sure that a counselor could do anything. A counselor could help him see, due to age and family ties, his "obsession" is unhealthy and inappropriate. This isn't an "ignore and hope it goes away" situation as a wrong turn could have lasting negative repercussions for everyone involved. He needs to discuss this with a trained professional, and you need to make that happen... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 Probably counseling, yes, as well as drill into him it's unacceptable to have sexual thoughts about underage people. Don't neglect to do that. He needs to know it's wrong. I get that he's developmentally about that age, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't get in huge trouble for acting on it, so you need to make him understand it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Big Aus Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 Firstly, you need to define what you mean by "obsession". It would also help if you could outline why his cognitive ability is limited, where his emotional maturity is at, and what were the previous problems with the GF. More information of WHAT he is saying about her would also help. If you consider this "obsession" to be inappropriate, then you need to evaluate his propensity to ACT inappropriately. The two need not go together. inappropriate behaviour is more likely to be the result of deficient impulse control. Let's ASSUME for the moment that this "obsession" is romantic or sexual in nature. Then you need to explain that is simply not allowed with a cousin. Period. If he has teenage cognition, that should not be an issue. Be very careful with "counselling" and choose carefully. It's NOT like it appears in the movies. IF you have a good and patient counsellor, who's prepared to put in the time to get him to open up and discuss his feelings, that will help. On the other hand, somebody just looking to slap another diagnosis on him, probably won't, and may even be counter-productive. If you believe there is even a risk that he might act or even speak inappropriately towards the cousin, then yes, keep them apart until the crush has evaporated. Also keep in mind that you have committed an extreme invasion of his privacy, so be very careful how you broach these subjects. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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