jaclynxox89 Posted July 5, 2019 Share Posted July 5, 2019 This month, my husband and I will be married 5 years. I just turned 30 2 days ago, my husband is 37. We are in our "prime". We both want kids, my husband definitely has baby fever. He's said multiple times that he wants kids, especially when we see a cute little one in our neighborhood, his baby fever is evident. We aren't not "trying", we are not on any form of birth control. He's been pulling out successfully over the past year or so. We both know what each other want.I have brought up what our life would be like when we have kids, etc. But nothing ever comes up of it. I guess what I'm just trying to say is that I am personally ready to start trying to get pregnant now. I don't want to wait another day. I just don't know if my husband is ready to start right now. Do I just ask him point blank like that? I know this is a really silly thread. I know that some of you may be thinking, they've been married 5 years! Why is she coming here asking us what to say to her husband? But it's just a really difficult topic for me to bring up for some reason. I don't know what to say, really. P.s. - we are ok financially. Not sure what he is waiting for. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 5, 2019 Share Posted July 5, 2019 We aren't not "trying", we are not on any form of birth control. He's been pulling out successfully over the past year or so. Trust me, if you're using the "pull out" method, you're trying to get pregnant. With 4 kids, ask me how I know. Not sure why you're asking us instead of him? Seems like a simple conversation starting with "I'm ready for the next step in our lives..." ... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 5, 2019 Share Posted July 5, 2019 Seems like you could just say, "let's have a baby." Or if for some reason you can't communicate that basic thing, the next time you're just having sex, stop him before he pulls out and say, "don't pull out!" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 5, 2019 Share Posted July 5, 2019 I know this is a really silly thread. ... that's an understatement sister just say to him, "cum inside me baby" 4 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted July 5, 2019 Share Posted July 5, 2019 Try to get attuned to your ovulation cycle if that's possible for you. I know a few women who can apparently "ace it" if the stories they tell are true. May not be common though. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 5, 2019 Share Posted July 5, 2019 It is not difficult to know when you are ovulating if you pay attention. That doesn't mean it's easy to get pregnant, though. Took me 3 years even with a lot of knowledge and it takes a lot of women a lot longer than that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted July 5, 2019 Share Posted July 5, 2019 It is not difficult to know when you are ovulating if you pay attention. That doesn't mean it's easy to get pregnant, though. Took me 3 years even with a lot of knowledge and it takes a lot of women a lot longer than that. Cripe I breath on my wife and she gets pregnant. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 5, 2019 Share Posted July 5, 2019 Do I just ask him point blank like that? I know this is a really silly thread. I know that some of you may be thinking, they've been married 5 years! Why is she coming here asking us what to say to her husband? But it's just a really difficult topic for me to bring up for some reason. I don't know what to say, really. P.s. - we are ok financially. Not sure what he is waiting for. It's not silly but it is kind of heartbreaking that you think you are ready for motherhood when you can't manage a simple conversation. Marshal the reasons you want children & are ready for this, including the financial & medial ones (bio clock ticking, risks of continuing to wait). Tell DH to not pull out. It's really as simple as that. If you have regular sex & don't get pregnant within the next year, then it's time to talk to you doctor & the conversations get much harder. Best wishes. I hope all your dreams come true. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 It's not silly but it is kind of heartbreaking that you think you are ready for motherhood when you can't manage a simple conversation. Marshal the reasons you want children & are ready for this, including the financial & medial ones (bio clock ticking, risks of continuing to wait). Tell DH to not pull out. It's really as simple as that. If you have regular sex & don't get pregnant within the next year, then it's time to talk to you doctor & the conversations get much harder. Best wishes. I hope all your dreams come true. This is very true. The marriage cannot be strong enough for the upheaval of parenting if an honest conversation cannot be had about having children. OP, I would advise to think about whether you are ready for all aspects of being a parent rather than just the joys. Children are beautiful but they are also a lot of work and expense. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Inspire Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 It is definitely worth having a conversation about it ... You said he has "baby fever" and will often comment about having one. Use that as an opportunity to have that conversation. Maybe he has a timeline in mind, maybe he doesn't but until you two get on the same page, you'll never know. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 (edited) Trust me, if you're using the "pull out" method, you're trying to get pregnant. Not necessarily. Everyone's different, some have more control, some don't time it properly, some have more precum or tendency to ore-ejaculate. I used pull-out with multiple women over 20 years as the only form of birth control and the only 2 times I intentionally didn't pull out my ex wife got pregnant almost immediately. To the Op: If you can't talk to hubby about having babies you shouldn't even consider doing it. Edited July 6, 2019 by Normm Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 7, 2019 Share Posted July 7, 2019 Not necessarily. Everyone's different, some have more control, some don't time it properly, some have more precum or tendency to ore-ejaculate. Most experts agree, "in real life, about 22 out of 100 people who use withdrawal get pregnant every year — that's about 1 in 5". I'll stand by what I said... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 7, 2019 Share Posted July 7, 2019 The decision to have a child should be a joyous one. Not sure why you are having difficulty with the conversation, particularly if you both have said that you want a baby and his baby fever is evident evertime you see a cute little one in the neighbourhood... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted July 7, 2019 Share Posted July 7, 2019 Most experts agree, "in real life, about 22 out of 100 people who use withdrawal get pregnant every year — that's about 1 in 5". I'll stand by what I said... Mr. Lucky Yes, and if you read the link directly under the one you quoted above, when you do a Google Search, it explains why those 22 out of 100 people get pregnant with the pullout method- "accidents happen". Link to post Share on other sites
heartwhole2 Posted July 7, 2019 Share Posted July 7, 2019 I understand that this is a decision that involves vulnerability for you. My question is why you cannot be vulnerable with your husband. Were you unable to share what was important to you growing up? Are you conflict-avoidant? Does your husband react poorly to your wishes in general? These are issues to explore (ideally in therapy) before you have kids. Being able to discuss hard things is an important part of being a grown up. In a marriage, even when you want different things or disagree, you should still appreciate your partner’s viewpoint and seek compromise. Him saying, “Oh! I don’t think I’m ready yet ....” wouldn’t bet that terrible, would it? Link to post Share on other sites
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