I’m going to die a loner....

[Tagalz]

Hello lovely people!

 

Yes I am going to die being a lonely boy without any girl friends and no this is not me talking about suicide hahah

 

I literally have no girl friends to hang out with or even a girl which I can date. I’ve used tinder couple of years but talking about now a girl just blew me away saying that she’s sick two times in a row. It’s BS because I’ve seen her snaps chilling on the balcony so yh nothing I can do.

 

And the last girl I dated is actually on my threads. We had a summer flirt and it went on to actually be something but the last time I was with her we had sex. I guess she just wanted sex and then leave me.

 

There is two girls before that. the first one is my fault because she didn’t want to date me anymore because I was overthinking everything and I actually appreciated that she was upfront and honest about her reasons unlike many other girls who blew guys off without giving any reasons.

 

The second one blew me off as well but I think I know the reason and it is because I was trying to be another person.

 

Nightclubs and bars aren’t my best habitat when it comes to being social. I just feel like you need to be good at conversation and good with dancing in order to go to nightclubs and bars. Not my cup of tea.

 

The only chance I have is meetup but things are limited here. There is two meetups and these are:

 

language cafe which is people from different countries trying to learn each others language. I think it’s really good to know different cultures as well and maybe it could go as far as going out together and eat food from their country.

 

Board games: The hosts and other people that attends can take a boards game with them and play together or against with other people. This could be fun only if you know how to play tho so if you aren’t focusing I would be there just watching which could be boring.

 

Third option: That is to create your own meetup. If you have the app you know that it is possible but it would cost money. If I had the chance I would create a soccer meetup. I like soccer and it could be fun doing activities with other people. Nothing serious just for fun.

 

PS: Don’t say thing that I want to hear. Give me advice or just be brutal honest if you want. I would give you a like if you got everything that I wrote

Edited July 5, 2019 by Tagalz

[alphamale]

Third option: That is to create your own meetup. If you have the app you know that it is possible but it would cost money. If I had the chance I would create a soccer meetup. I like soccer and it could be fun doing activities with other people. Nothing serious just for fun.

 

my meetup group costs $93 every six months

 

also, stop being overly dramatic

[Tagalz]

my meetup group costs $93 every six months

 

also, stop being overly dramatic

 

So what do you suggest I do? I’m really thinking about going to as much meetups I can

[alphamale]

I have some advice for you. This is how I get women and it works exceedingly well but it does take some time and effort.

 

You need to start being very open. I don't even care if you suck at it at first, just do it. Figure out a few witty things you can say to people you don't know and use it all the time if you have to. Go out of the house and just talk to people as practice. Not just the girls you wanna bang, talk to everyone.

 

Start networking. Fill up that social media. Post cute things online that women like. Since you have few female friends, considering hiring a photographer to take some decent pics of you to post on your social media. Don't tell anyone the context of the pics, just post them. Like, a nice pic of you at a local park. Let people wonder what you are doing at the park and who you are with, do not say you hired a photographer and you are alone. Just don't.

 

Work on yourself in some way. I don't care if that means you take some classes or go to the gym, or even both, but do it. Both places can also help you network.

 

Women respect men that are good at something, so you want to meet women at a place where you stand out. If you're good at sports, sign up to play some. That sort of thing. Women usually wanna bang the guy that is good at things.

 

And lastly, do not get a case of oneitis. That will wreck your dating life. Just follow the tips I gave you and date the women that come around. Do not fall for one girl and ignore all others for her. That sometimes happens to me and it almost never works out in my favor.

 

all of the above is common knowledge (or at least should be)

[alphamale]

So what do you suggest I do? I’m really thinking about going to as much meetups I can

 

start a meetup group that women would like and then start planning events, the chicks will come to you

[Foxhall]

start a meetup group that women would like and then start planning events, the chicks will come to you

 

 

I enjoy Alpha's posts!

 

Yes Tagalz Id go with this option, Friday night meet ups or something, get something going in your area,

 

if you are the organiser it puts you on the front footing straight off, women like a leader.

 

even if does not happen initially , the experience you gain will stand to you when you meet that lovely lady walking her dog in the park or whatever.

You will no longer be nervous, you will be able to chat her.

[Maggiemay1]

Yes you will die a loner with that attitude.

Who even considers the fact of dieing a loner? You do apparently.

And unless you have no friends or family , that fear is unwarranted.

 

Your actual issue is that you are not happy with your single self. And until you become a happy independent single person , you will NOT find a girl to be happy with your miserable self, so work on that!!?

[skywriter]

Enigma32's advice is very accurate and helpful information. I am a female and agree with what he suggest. As a female who appreciates someone more sociable than myself. I am friendly but more quiet than my boyfriend, where as when we are out and about he's quite talkative to anyone, anywhere. People gravitate towards him because of his friendly outgoing personality.

 

I notice in restaurants or even a yard sale my boyfriend talks to folks and they are actually begging him back as we are trying to leave. I find that facinating.

[ZA Dater]

I have some advice for you. This is how I get women and it works exceedingly well but it does take some time and effort.

 

In other words OP be a completely different person to what you are now in the hope that women will like that version long enough that the accept the version of yourself that you really are. Its about projecting things which are not true but attractive to women nonetheless. The programme is simple really be as fake as possible, as macho as possible oh and make sure you behave, walk and speak like other men, be interested in everything other men are interested in because hey women love a conformist, its the most attractive thing ever, it fulfils their need to fit in with their friends.

 

Seriously OP, my view is you might just as well be you because anyone who cannot appreciate that isn't worth having.

[Foxhall]

In other words OP be a completely different person to what you are now in the hope that women will like that version long enough that the accept the version of yourself that you really are. Its about projecting things which are not true but attractive to women nonetheless. The programme is simple really be as fake as possible, as macho as possible oh and make sure you behave, walk and speak like other men, be interested in everything other men are interested in because hey women love a conformist, its the most attractive thing ever, it fulfils their need to fit in with their friends.

 

Seriously OP, my view is you might just as well be you because anyone who cannot appreciate that isn't worth having.

 

just jumping in here again!

 

I agree with you to an extent on this, however you also need to be shrewd,

 

your thoughts apply very well to an ideal world,

 

but with dating you have to play it smart

 

you have to lie at times, be false at times, or at least hold back your weaknesses to keep your chance with a girl alive,

 

I accept your point " if they cannot accept you as you are then they are not worth the effort"

 

the ideal girl will accept us all the way we are, but to build experience you have to be a bluffer.

 

get out chatting to girls , when on a date bluff your way and all will be fine

[ZA Dater]

get out chatting to girls , when on a date bluff your way and all will be fine

 

Or simply just go as yourself. Why bother bluffing at all.

[alphamale]

Or simply just go as yourself. Why bother bluffing at all.

 

what if "yourself" is boring and emasculated?

[preraph]

Enigma's advice is right on the nose. It's so important to just talk to everyone and be social and friendly. Women see if you are only friendly to attractive woman and it doesn't take a genius to figure out your sociability isn't genuine. Always remember that people will talk about you positively to other people, no matter if they're young, old, male or female. If they liked meeting you and talking to you, they will spread the word and make others want to meet you.

 

It's also true women like guys who are good at something. You've already given up on dancing (and by the way, women like guys who dance mediocre, as long as they dance and aren't too embarrassing. Always remember when you can't dance, just move your hands or your feet and not both at the same time. Watch videos on minimal dancing).

 

But it could be anything. It could be you play an instrument, you play a sport even just for fun, you are a big fisherman, just about anything besides touting yourself at something like videogames, which only a select few women would find appealing since it takes attention away from them as a rule. Could be you volunteer for a charity or you're a great hairdresser or a good public speaker. I mean, just try to have some asset like that. He's a great handyman is the BEST.

 

Like one neighborhood guy I always found interesting is a mechanic who has a small classic car collection. It could be you're a great water skiier, whatever. Try to find something you enjoy and are good at.

[alphamale]

Watch videos on minimal dancing).

 

I didn't know that was a genre

[skywriter]

It's called self-improvement. If you would prefer to sit around, make no changes, and continue to fail at life, that's your choice. OP came here for advice and I gave it to him. That's how I get dates. Got laid today, in fact. What about you?

 

Lol! Right on enigma32!

[Blanco]

In other words OP be a completely different person to what you are now in the hope that women will like that version long enough that the accept the version of yourself that you really are. Its about projecting things which are not true but attractive to women nonetheless. The programme is simple really be as fake as possible, as macho as possible oh and make sure you behave, walk and speak like other men, be interested in everything other men are interested in because hey women love a conformist, its the most attractive thing ever, it fulfils their need to fit in with their friends.

 

Seriously OP, my view is you might just as well be you because anyone who cannot appreciate that isn't worth having.

 

LOL his advice is literally be more sociable with people, get some good photos of yourself for social media use, and to take up a hobby/work on developing a new skill.

 

Keep your bitterness confined to your own threads.

[Tagalz]

I have some advice for you.

You need to start being very open.

Start networking. Post cute things online that women like. Since you have few female friends, considering hiring a photographer to take some decent pics of you to post on your social media. Don't tell anyone the context of the pics, just post them. Like, a nice pic of you at a local park. Let people wonder what you are doing at the park and who you are with, do not say you hired a photographer and you are alone. Just don't.

 

Work on yourself in some way. I don't care if that means you take some classes or go to the gym, or even both, but do it. Both places can also help you network.

 

Women respect men that are good at something, so you want to meet women at a place where you stand out. If you're good at sports, sign up to play some. That sort of thing. Women usually wanna bang the guy that is good at things.

.

 

Thankf for the advice! It was nicely written and just a good advice all together but I do have some question.

 

How do I find a girl who can take picture’s of me? By networking? I can use my brother to do that! I suck at it and it would take me a lot of time too. I do try when I’m at work but I haven’t found one with common interest.

 

I really need that because that makes the conversation easy for me. I’m aware that you don’t really need common interests to have a convo.

 

By having knownledge about different topics would be easier to talk about but at times it could be repetetive. See my point?

 

Example: we both are talking about global warming but we both know most part of it so it would be boring just to keep the convo. If the person tells something completely new then it could lead to something more in a conversation. I don’t have all that that’s why in order for me to have a convo I need to find common interest withing the person I’m talking to. That’s also why I have a hard time networking.

 

And yeah I’m good at playing football so I think I might create a group on meetup app xD

[Tagalz]

I enjoy Alpha's posts!

 

Yes Tagalz Id go with this option, Friday night meet ups or something, get something going in your area,

 

if you are the organiser it puts you on the front footing straight off, women like a leader.

 

even if does not happen initially , the experience you gain will stand to you when you meet that lovely lady walking her dog in the park or whatever.

You will no longer be nervous, you will be able to chat her.

 

I’ll totally go with this! Thinking about creating a soccer (we call it football in Norway but I write soccer cause Americans use that word) I’m good at it and I have experience playing for a club.

 

Altough I think I would attract more male’s than female’s tho hahah

[alphamale]

And yeah I’m good at playing football so I think I might create a group on meetup app xD

 

great idea if you want to meet a ton of sweaty men

[Tagalz]

In other words OP be a completely different person to what you are now in the hope that women will like that version long enough that the accept the version of yourself that you really are. Its about projecting things which are not true but attractive to women nonetheless. The programme is simple really be as fake as possible, as macho as possible oh and make sure you behave, walk and speak like other men, be interested

 

Seriously OP, my view is you might just as well be you because anyone who cannot appreciate that isn't worth having.

 

I’m not going to fake my personality just to get girls. People with different personalities attracts different women or male friends. If they like the personality they stay if they don’t they leave. I just happend to have a personality that is more reserved and I don’t care if they deserve me or not. I’m not gold or something. They deserve someone better than me and that person could be faking he or her’s personality. Little do I know but Idc xD

[Tagalz]

start a meetup group that women would like and then start planning events, the chicks will come to you

 

What do women like nowadays?

[Tagalz]

It's called self-improvement. If you would prefer to sit around, make no changes, and continue to fail at life.

 

I’m not failing at life, I refuse to. That’s why I came here for advice. I have decided to go on meetups for networking and are thinking about creating my own group on meetup app

[snowboy91]

I’m not failing at life, I refuse to. That’s why I came here for advice. I have decided to go on meetups for networking and are thinking about creating my own group on meetup app

 

I think that's actually a really good idea. I don't necessarily think that creating your own football group will solve all your dating problems, but it's a step in the right direction. You'll get out and at least meet some new people. Use it as a stepping stone to expand your social circle further. Keep tweaking your approach and eventually you'll meet someone who you may consider dating.

 

I don't know how it is in Norway, but here there are plenty of local mixed sporting leagues (usually community based, not through meetup). Leagues that are exclusively men (and sometimes ones that are exclusively women) tend to be quite competitive, but the mixed ones are just there for fun. Perhaps that's a similar sort of vibe that you want.

[clia]

What do women like nowadays?

 

Brunch, happy hour, food, drinks.

 

Start a dining meetup and arrange meals at trendy restaurants in your area.

[ZA Dater]

Brunch, happy hour, food, drinks.

 

Start a dining meetup and arrange meals at trendy restaurants in your area.

 

Very good idea, if were the OP I would explore this a bit.