Appearance

[Kitty Tantrum]

I dunno, I'm kinda glad there are general standards that motivate me to improve. I'd be a pretty sorry looking meatbag otherwise. Nothing wrong with wanting a partner who is healthy and well-groomed. Some folks take it a bit far, but plenty don't - so forget about the ones who do. Don't waste your time or energy on them one way or another.

[alphamale]

usually I date skinny girls but once in a while I meet a larger one who is sexy and confident (these women are rare)

[MeadowFlower]

Everyone who cares to, go check out Beauty Redefined on Instagram, Facebook or their website.

[ZA Dater]

Have you heard the saying that “there’s no such thing as an ugly lady, only a lazy one.” Anyone can look pleasant/pretty with a decent amount of effort. From my observations, it matters more whether one takes care of herself or is sloppy about her appearance.

 

 

 

I agree with you on this 100%. Some women simply put in no effort at all and looking after oneself is a option most of us have, be it walking be it doing any sort of physical activity.

[preraph]

Lady Clairol, D0nnivain! No point in just giving in to it over something as simple as hair dye. Hair color makes your complexion come alive and takes 20 years off you.

[JuneL]

Everyone who cares to, go check out Beauty Redefined on Instagram, Facebook or their website.

 

How ironic...those ladies groomed themselves exactly the way expected by the social norms.

[basil67]

Yeah , l have trouble be sympathetic on this one too because l think women are even worse. Just read through ls or go read through female profiles on a date site. Their expectations are just plain ridiculous for what they're offering. And yeah , 80% of them maybe more actually , look like crap to boot yet rambling off as if they're some princess prize.

Yaknow , if an honest woman shoots within her means though, there shouldn't be a problem.

 

Chills, don't forget that these women are single for a reason. There's a heap of women who aren't all princessy who actually date and marry regular men. The princesses don't reflect most women.

[smackie9]

I hate these pity threads. IMO you are attracted to, what you are attracted to. Sure everyone would like a model/sixpack, but in reality, we end up with average because they have CHEMISTRY. G-Q looks are not everything. Some people are so narrow minded about our species..jeeezus! Go back in yer hole.

[Kitty Tantrum]

Lady Clairol, D0nnivain! No point in just giving in to it over something as simple as hair dye. Hair color makes your complexion come alive and takes 20 years off you.

 

That's one thing I'll never do! I played around with dying my hair a few times when I was a kid, but I started getting gray hairs when I was 16 and I LOVE IT. I'm going to have witchy old lady hair by the time I'm 45 and I think that's fantastic.

[MeadowFlower]

I hate these pity threads. IMO you are attracted to, what you are attracted to. Sure everyone would like a model/sixpack, but in reality, we end up with average because they have CHEMISTRY. G-Q looks are not everything. Some people are so narrow minded about our species..jeeezus! Go back in yer hole.

 

Who the heck are you addressing?

 

If you find it difficult to be respectful and you don't like what you read, then move to another thread.

Edited July 7, 2019 by MeadowFlower

[MeadowFlower]

How ironic...those ladies groomed themselves exactly the way expected by the social norms.

 

There's nothing wrong with grooming themselves that way.

[MeadowFlower]

That's one thing I'll never do! I played around with dying my hair a few times when I was a kid, but I started getting gray hairs when I was 16 and I LOVE IT. I'm going to have witchy old lady hair by the time I'm 45 and I think that's fantastic.

 

You go girl lol :-)

[chillii]

Chills, don't forget that these women are single for a reason. There's a heap of women who aren't all princessy who actually date and marry regular men. The princesses don't reflect most women.

 

 

 

 

Oh for sure , there are some great women out there with their feet on the ground. l was just surprised back when how common it was though in the attitudes of some.

lt didn't effect me l've got better taste haha, but you know, just noticed a lot of it is all.

[AceTheBrain22]

this topic is ridiculous. Most women who complain about looks put in f*ck all effort

 

 

I started balding at 24. Imagine if you ladies started losing your hair at 24 - you would shoot yourself. Did I cry about it? No I worked out super hard and got very muscular and in very good shape, I got a beard that I have to maintain constantly (go to the barber 5 times a month) and now I'm good looking. I put in way more effort than any of you ladies can imagine to look good - try working out 6 days a week and watching your diet like a hawk. It's not like I'm a lazy bum - I work 55 hours a week AND do gym 12 hours a week

 

 

If you don't want to put in the effort to look good and be in shape, don't complain that you don't get the success you want.

[salparadise]

The solution seems obvious... instead of shooting for the moon and chanting never settle, accept an average man, one of the many that women dismiss who would love and cherish a good woman with a warm heart.

 

Yea, yea, yea, I know women don't get wet for average. But in a monogamous society where one-to-one is the way, when one gender is fixated on unicorns and swearing to hold out 'til hell freezes over just screws up the arithmetic.

 

"I'm going to say, in my personal experience, that 90 percent of guys are undateable," she says. "It's not something I'm happy to report. It doesn't bode well for me."

Undatable Guys Get Advice

[Versacehottie]

I think you can be upset that guys pay attention to looks or you can find you way to be your best in the situation that exists and isn't going away. Sitting here complaining about what is the reality won't help your reality. I do think the worst possible thing is to have a chip on your shoulder or bitterness about it which does seem like it will head that way if you keep going like this--cause then you will be someone who is putting no effort into how you look and have a bad attitude about life and animosity toward guys in general and how they go about making their choices.

 

It always boils down to embracing the good things about yourself and maximizing those--not focusing on the negative, pouring energy into that and expecting to draw someone to you with that scenario. The good about you may not be what is good about some other girl and that often is a good thing. Apathetic and bitter rarely are though.

 

I think you might believe that pretty & toned girls have it easier and just breeze through dating, which it is true to an extent. However, I would say the majority of my girlfriends are above average in looks or even absolutely gorgeous and one thing you will learn if that is the situation is that you can be gorgeous but still not some guy's type physically. In a group of 10 for example, all very pretty, guys will choose different girls. Sometimes it doesn't even play out like you would think & that's just getting started, exchanging info & getting asked out, flirted with. Once dating, i would say looks don't really play a factor too much--i've seen girls of all types of looks get their hearts broken and not have success with the guys they want to have success with. IMO, the common thread for success is a dating and personal confidence and a kind of independence that is difficult to explain here. Looks are just a way in the door on a first impression really but it's stupid to pretend that it doesn't factor in and that you shouldn't do your own best.

[preraph]

^^^^

 

@alphamale

 

In my experience, larger women are also lower maintenance.

 

They also seem happier, because they eat and are not irritable from starving themselves.

 

I can vouch for that! I'm a happy camper as long as I get to my favorite restaurant at least once a week. It can be very depressing dieting all the time. I did it when I was young because I was climbing in what was considered entertainment (music) business and it was essential to my quest. I was one unhappy champagne lush when I couldn't drink for a few months because of dieting. Took all the fun out. The only thing that made it palatable in the early years is I couldn't afford to eat well anyway....but that didn't stop me from gaining weight on bologna sandwiches, bacon sandwiches, eggs, milk, and mac and cheese, pot of beans.

[preraph]

I hate these pity threads. IMO you are attracted to, what you are attracted to. Sure everyone would like a model/sixpack, but in reality, we end up with average because they have CHEMISTRY. G-Q looks are not everything. Some people are so narrow minded about our species..jeeezus! Go back in yer hole.

 

Very good point. Because we have more chemistry with someone who is most like us, which usually means, not a 10! Plus there's just not enough 10s to spread around to, well, anyone but other 10s.

 

Sad state of affairs to those who dwell on it. Life goes on to the rest of us.

 

As to the others talking about fat people choose not to exercise, I'd just like for you to understand that some of them can't exercise enough to lose weight due to this or that. For me, it started with feet. Then I got arches and over time got to where I could walk well enough to lose weight, but you know, it always comes back. Something happens, you fall or whatever, and you can't walk two miles around the creek anymore and you can't not eat enough to stay thin either. Just saying. It's not all about people who just don't try.

 

I was losing a lot of weight again when my sister went in the hospital and was there for months. Walking in the hospital literally crippled me in my hips and that was it for me losing weight. Then there was a fall that crapped out both knees and I do PT just trying to stay where I can get to the fence and back with my trash and get up my porch steps. Losing weight is a distant dream once you start to get real things wrong with your limbs.

 

On the plus side, it all works out because sex becomes about as appealing as getting on your sore knees and mopping the bathroom floor. So no importa!

 

For those who are young and healthy, some people have discipline and some don't. Some are happy enough with their weight and some aren't. If they're unhappy enough, if they have enough discipline in them, they can lose it. But as someone who has lost tons of weight a few times, I can tell you, it takes a strong person to do it. It's not for the feint of heart. It's not easy. It's not just doing a little or cutting out this or that. It's starvation and ever increasing exercise for many.

[Curiousroxy86]

The solution seems obvious... instead of shooting for the moon and chanting never settle, accept an average man, one of the many that women dismiss who would love and cherish a good woman with a warm heart.

 

 

Or find a way to be happy alone until you find someone you can be happy with

 

I don’t subscribe to the idea of people trying to get with the best looking people exclusively but I also don’t subscribe to the idea that people should fake being happy trying to establish relationships with people they are just not attracted to and be miserable just so they won’t be alone lol. I don’t have issues with average looking people or choosing to date them but no matter if he is average or not there needs to be some sort of attraction there.

[basil67]

It's not like I'm a lazy bum - I work 55 hours a week AND do gym 12 hours a week

 

I love how people all want different things. When I was dating, I'd see a guy who was all muscles and avoid him because of all the hours he'd be spending in the gym. Give me a guy who's got a softer body any day

[MINAKO]

It all comes down to personal preference. If someone is really into looks, we cannot blame them, and I bet even they themself cannot help it. It is the same argument when certain people will not date someone who is shorter/taller than them, or younger/older than them, and so on. In the end, some care about these things, some do not. Neither is at fault for feeling how they feel about it. We are attracted to who we attracted to. It is just the way it is.

[chillii]

Very true .

And if we truly look at ourselves we'll have similar stoppers anyway , it'll just be in some other regard.

[loversquarrel]

You are only half correct with this post of yours OP. I have dated plenty of beautiful women, some of them I valued very little because they had very ugly personalities.

 

Maybe the problem is you and your inability to fulfill your own expectations? There are plenty of guys out there who feel the same way you do.

[stillafool]

^^^This is true. We want attractive people but are disappointed that they also want very attractive people yet there are plenty of not very attractive people who want someone too but those people never consider them. They would rather cry over the very attractive ones they couldn't get. It might have something to do with entitlement.

[beatcuff]

It is so wrong how women are valued by men based upon their looks. They are. Not all men maybe, but the standard guy does. If the woman isn't good looking, then he doesn't want her. Women who landed on the earth with 'below average' looks are of the same value as women who were granted beauty or prettiness. They are humans too. They have ideas, feelings, interests. All the same as the pretty female. I actually dislike males who have this mindset.

ok, so you dislike males that think you are not worthy? fine i guess you/them are even? i get you are ranting but why? whats the point of this UNLESS this is NOT true --- [see bold above].

 

maybe this will help: look at all the couples you know/see: an overwhelming number are within a point of each other (looks scale) AND within 10 years of age: get outside of either and we are 'wait what'. most likely factor is wealth.

 

it appears you are chasing those very persons you 'dislike, get upset with your constant failures and of course blame those that you seek. maybe its time you look within, then you might find what you are looking for.