She told me that she was dancing with another guy (without context/me asking)

[Kay_3]

Hey guys,

 

so short story:

 

I was seeing this girl from February to April, she thought we are Friends. I accepted it. We got closer again in May. I asked her on a Date. We went on a Date. It was good. And now we are seperated for some due to personal reasons. Anyways. Although we went on the date shortly before we both left Uni, I didn't really try a lot since then. I Didn't really flirt with her. I only facetimed her a few times. I didn't see a reason to invest too much time.

 

Yesterday, she was at a club or so idk. She posted a video of being there and I asked who the artist was.

And her response was: "That was *insert artist name*". And I was like "Oh that's cool, I love this dude". Her answer: "It was so hard to take the video cause I was dancing really sexually with this guy."

 

Like why do you tell me that? I did not ask? Idk what to take from that.

 

My reaction (idk if that was the right reaction): "Did you get his phone number?? Did you get any other boys??"

 

She just said: "No, it was only a one time thing". She completely ignored the second question.

 

I am not sure if I should see a deeper meaning this or not. What do you guys think?

[Beendaredonedat]

I think she is very young in age or emotional maturity and that she just told you that because she was proud of the fact that some guy wanted to do that with her.

 

Do you like this girl? What do you want with her if you are playing things so cool and aloof/indifferent to her?

[Kay_3]

We are both around 20ish. I kinda do like her, yes. What do you mean with playing it "playing things so cool and aloof/indifferent to her"?

[ExpatInItaly]

I think she is either strongly hinting that you are in the Friend Zone, or she's playing some silly game to make you jealous.

 

Has she previously turned you down? You say you were seeing each other from February to April and that she thought you were friends. I don't really understand what this means - do you mean you thought it was much more than it really was, and she told you she just wanted to be friends, or?

[Kay_3]

I think she is either strongly hinting that you are in the Friend Zone, or she's playing some silly game to make you jealous.

 

Has she previously turned you down? You say you were seeing each other from February to April and that she thought you were friends. I don't really understand what this means - do you mean you thought it was much more than it really was, and she told you she just wanted to be friends, or?

 

So we were hanging out every day, cuddling, we would talk about our life's, basically most friends thought we would be a thing. Then we had a big fight and in that fight she also said that she sees me as a friend. Then I said I don't think this will work out. Anyways, we weren't talking for a few weeks and then she texted me again and we got closer which lead to either a 1 on 1 hang out or a date. Since we went on a walk through a park and got coffee, I saw it as a date. We both didn't want friends to join too.

 

The one reason I think she likes me is because she once grabbed my dick while watching Netflix. I turned her down and the week after we had the fight where she said we are friends.

 

I never actually asked her out. Neither did I tell her straight up that I liked her. The only thing I said when we had the fight was "you probably know that I was interested in you" (I actually said it in the last tense and not present tense).

 

She was drunk while she texted me this btw.

 

Oh and if it is about being frriendzoned why would she bring it up now. Like there was nothing to cause this now?

Edited July 6, 2019 by Kay_3

[smackie9]

Hah she was looking for a reaction of jealousy from you to see if she had any value. Ditch this b*&^$, she's NOT worth your time.

[d0nnivain]

I think it's summer vacation. She's not your GF. You are not exclusive.

 

She may be playing some jealousy head game. I do think she likes you.

 

Do nothing over the summer. When school is back in session in the Fall spend time with her if you want but stop getting worked up about anything that happens while you are apart.

[Kay_3]

I think it's summer vacation. She's not your GF. You are not exclusive.

 

She may be playing some jealousy head game. I do think she likes you.

 

Do nothing over the summer. When school is back in session in the Fall spend time with her if you want but stop getting worked up about anything that happens while you are apart.

 

 

I am glad to hear that. I decided to not text her anymore for the summer time.

I might start texting her again when I get back. We will see. I just thought “if she is playing these games now already, what will happen when we are dating?”

 

I am sure she will get back to me pretty fast when I don’t text her as much as I used to but that’s fine.

[d0nnivain]

I am glad to hear that. I decided to not text her anymore for the summer time.

 

I might start texting her again when I get back. We will see. I just thought “if she is playing these games now already, what will happen when we are dating?”

 

I am sure she will get back to me pretty fast when I don’t text her as much as I used to but that’s fine.

 

 

I think she'd be a bit better while you are dating. This is designed to get your attention while you are apart. It's game playing but nobody gets this stuff right when they are young.

 

Don't completely ghost on her or go radio silent. Do respond if she reaches out. Being polite is always a good thing. Send her a few texts that you initiate, no more then 1 per week. You want her to know you still exist otherwise she will have no reason to talk to you in the fall.

 

I was in college decades ago, way before cell phones & texts. The boys who made an occasional long distance call over the summer were boys I wanted to see again when school started. If he couldn't be bothered to even call me once over break, well I couldn't be bothered to spend time with him on campus. Get my drift?

[smackie9]

it's the summer! Get your butt down to the beach and have fun with some babes.

[Inspire]

What deeper meaning? You're not interested and she says you're friends. Maybe she had been drinking ... If you aren't interested who cares?

[MINAKO]

Maybe she does like you, maybe she was trying to friend-zone you, maybe she did not mean anything hurtful by it, maybe she was playing a mind game - who knows. However, it is undeniable that it is still immature of her, and pointless, to say something like that. I mean really, how unnecessary. Especially if there were ever sparks between you two. So regardless of her intention, I do not believe she is mature enough to be in a proper relationship, or at least does not intend to be in one in this case. I would not take her seriously. And as side note, I know that personally, I would never say something like that to someone I genuinely wanted to be with.

[Kay_3]

Well thank you for your answers! I feel somehow I shouldn’t be overanalyzing things. Even my friends are split between why she is doing it. Friendzone or to make me jealous.

But since what happened yesterday, I believe it was to make me jealous. We normally talk on more than one platform (in this case text and Instagram). I was out on Saturday night and opened her text but didn’t reply since I just forgot and was busy anyways. I answered her on Instagram before tho. And well... Any person who wouldn’t care at all would just respond on Instagram although I opened their text and didn’t answer... But guess what... Well she left me on read on Instagram...

 

This just showed me that she at least cares a little bit...

 

Oh and that she didn't answer the question whether there were more guys or not also makes me think it's because of jealousy.

 

Btw she kept texting me on snapchat me and bringing up topics today after I send her a snap on spachat that was for everyone...

Edited July 8, 2019 by Kay_3

[Kay_3]

And @Inspire why do you think/say that I am not interested?

[snowboy91]

From the sound of things she is (or was) interested, but from her perspective you haven't really been playing along, and you're not really giving a vibe that you're interested. If you're not bothering to ask her out and you're turning down her advances, but you want to spend time exclusively with her, how do you think she is going to feel? Especially if she is interested in you?

 

From her perspective, it's a lot of effort and frustration. If you want to be just friends, then that's fine but stick to that boundary. If you like her, ask her out.

[Maddie82]

Yep, this was just to get a jealous reaction out of you. The girl likes you, but you've made zero effort to show any interest in her.

[Kay_3]

From the sound of things she is (or was) interested, but from her perspective you haven't really been playing along, and you're not really giving a vibe that you're interested. If you're not bothering to ask her out and you're turning down her advances, but you want to spend time exclusively with her, how do you think she is going to feel? Especially if she is interested in you?

 

From her perspective, it's a lot of effort and frustration. If you want to be just friends, then that's fine but stick to that boundary. If you like her, ask her out.

 

So what do you suggest I should do since we are separated and I can't take her out?

[Kay_3]

Yep, this was just to get a jealous reaction out of you. The girl likes you, but you've made zero effort to show any interest in her.

 

I am dumb when it comes to girls... So how am I supposed to react if she talks about another boy hitting/flirting with her? Or what efforts should I make so that she realizes that I actually like her?

[Inspire]

And @Inspire why do you think/say that I am not interested?

 

Anyways. Although we went on the date shortly before we both left Uni, I didn't really try a lot since then. I Didn't really flirt with her. I only facetimed her a few times. I didn't see a reason to invest too much time.

 

You said so yourself. If you're interested in her then make a move. Clearly, if you were dating someone from Feb-April and she thought you were just friends then you're doing something wrong. Take the lead and stop being so passive.

[usa1ah]

There is nothing you can do at this point.

 

If she really liked you she wouldn’t be playing theses games with you.

 

Don’t reply at all to anything she sends.

 

If she likes you and she goes to a club with a guy and tells you, what would she do if you start dating? Would she cheat on you if she thought you didn’t pay her enough attention? I think she would.

 

Steer clear of this girl. Find one that doesn’t play games.

[Kay_3]

So I tried to stay away from her but she started texting me again.

 

 

 

So well, last weekend I was kinda busy but I still took a minute here and there to answer her messages. Apparently that was wrong too... I was only able to give her short replys like "that's nice" or "how come?" or whatever. Then she asked me why I am only replying so "unfriendly". And I told her why. Anyways she kept texting me like long ass stories so I might have gotten a little annoyed and started not replying. Then she said "Oh wow you are so nice today haha" and "Oh btw there is this guy who wants to hang out with me but I don't wanna hang out with him uhh uhh". Well I answered later at night when I wasn't busy anymore and just said "Well then the decision is made. Do what you want". She never replied to that...

 

 

This girl is one of the most pathetic people I have ever met. What do you guys think of this behavior?

 

 

P.S: Didn't think it was necessary to make a new thread for the same "problem".

[ExpatInItaly]

It sounds like both of you are afraid to admit you are interested in each other, so you both dance around the topic and play games. She tries to make you jealous, you try to play aloof.

 

You won't get anywhere with her at this rate, but I suspect you're both young and still learning how to date.

[usa1ah]

Block her on everything and move on.

[smackie9]

She's immature and not worth the bs.....block/delete/move on.