SpiceCat Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 I'm in!! Not single but I am in nonetheless:) I live on the East Coast . Does anyone live close? Nope..California girl with a young daughter, a full time job and a boyfriend here. But you ladies enjoy! Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 I don’t see anything wrong with posting what I’m actually doing in my life . I had to know and witness all the events MM went on with his wife and accept it. We’re not together anymore I don’t have to care about how he feels . I probably won’t actually do it but I can’t deny that it’s tempting . I completely agree you don't have to care how he feels. It's the intention behind such social media posts that keeps dumpees hooked, though. Posting in hopes of making him see what you're up to (which you admitted was a motive) keeps you too attached to him. If you're going to make a serious attempt at moving on, your best bet would be to delete him off social media so you're not tempted to engage in self-sabotaging "I'll show him!"-type behaviour. The benefit is for you. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope71 Posted July 11, 2019 Author Share Posted July 11, 2019 Hi everyone. Just checking in. I have four days off. I go in on Monday...so I’m trying to make plans to keep busy. Definitely going to take advantage of my down time. I might even turn my phone off just to unplug. I’ll check in in a few days....I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Thank you for being so awesome.? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Starswillshine Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 Hi everyone. Just checking in. I have four days off. I go in on Monday...so I’m trying to make plans to keep busy. Definitely going to take advantage of my down time. I might even turn my phone off just to unplug. I’ll check in in a few days....I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Thank you for being so awesome.? Unplugging is a great idea. Take care, Hope. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope71 Posted July 14, 2019 Author Share Posted July 14, 2019 Hi guys. I go back to work tomorrow...been checking in from time to time.Just remember that during all this drama married man stuff remember to unplug and take care of yourself. Get outside, get some exercise , go to a movie even if you go by yourself. Keep moving and keep breathing .....hugs to all? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope71 Posted July 15, 2019 Author Share Posted July 15, 2019 Up early this morning. I’m having slight setback. I knew it would happen. Mornings are always a little rough for me because it was a time that me and mm would talk. He will call me in the morning or text me good morning and I guess I’m kind of missing him this morning . I know it’s gonna happen sometimes but it really sucks ? I know I’m much better off but I do miss his friendship . Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixRising8 Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 Hang in there Hope. I know how you feel. My xMM was an early riser and everyday I'd wake up to a good morning text and then a call. It was a great way to start the day. Really missed that initially. It does get better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope71 Posted July 15, 2019 Author Share Posted July 15, 2019 Thx Kat. I’m sad but kind of angry. Mostly at myself for ever getting involved in this mess. It blows my mind how these guys can live their lives as if nothing ever happened. It’s amazing ..... Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 Thx Kat. I’m sad but kind of angry. Mostly at myself for ever getting involved in this mess. It blows my mind how these guys can live their lives as if nothing ever happened. It’s amazing ..... Its called compartmentalisation. You and others here made your MM your whole world. He fitted right in there, deeply entwined in your life. Even a simple thing like waking meant something to do with him. Whereas he, like a lot of men worked from a different bleuprint. He has his life in little boxes, nothing is deeply entwined, he picks one up gets involved, then puts it down to concentrate on another. His life never revolved around you, so without you in it, it is not such a big loss. When things go pear shaped, he merely chooses other boxes to pick up instead of yours. Work, family, career, sports, hobbies... etc. Whilst you are wallowing in grief, trying hard just to function, he has got his mind concentrated on other things. Also as a MM, he probably knew the affair had an expiry date, so was mentally prepared for it ending. "Women" tend to get all fired up by "love", so an affair is a love story with a happy ending (no matter how unlikely), the Prince and Princess sail into the sunset together... When it all goes wrong, it is thus a disaster... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Beentheretoooften Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 Probably 75% are this way. Maybe 80 Link to post Share on other sites
lolita888 Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 (edited) I always wonder what goes on a cheater's mind - especially when they start to give their OW hope with all of those promises of being together - while still staying with their BS. How can they look their BS in the eyes and pretend that everything is alright. Make them happy etc. What made them cheat and fool someone else. Your MM is just the same as the rest of the MM's here. Honestly speaking, I always wonder whether what he said about his W finding it out was real or not. His W may have had a suspicion and told him but not in a way that he found out...and so he stopped or that he found someone else or what. But then again he may just be telling the truth. Although I honestly doubt that he was telling the truth. It will hurt a lot. The longer it is, the more you will miss him and you will eventually start getting tempted to message him and rant on him. If you still want him back and still hoping - then I understand that you will not want to block him. You are still clinging to that hope that he will miss you and that you are not nothing to him. Wait for his message and start again. But if you feel that you just miss him but doesn't want to return to that relationship again, then just block him. At least that will make you stop hoping and waiting for his text. Waiting for it is dreading- I know. After ending it with my MM - something that kept me less depress is the thought that - it can happen to anyone. I wasn't abandoned because I wasn't good enough. Even a rich and beautiful girl can be cheated and thrown away. Edited July 18, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator fixed spacing Link to post Share on other sites
Tristian Posted July 18, 2019 Share Posted July 18, 2019 Just removed a 33 post threadjack! With that done let's return this thread to the OP and keep our replies on topic 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope71 Posted July 19, 2019 Author Share Posted July 19, 2019 Thank you Tristian... Link to post Share on other sites
Beentheretoooften Posted July 19, 2019 Share Posted July 19, 2019 @hope. Any contact? Texts? How was concert? Update please Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope71 Posted July 20, 2019 Author Share Posted July 20, 2019 I’ve been very busy with work life etc. .... So I have not been posting as much but yes XMM has been in touch. Pretty much saying all of the same stuff he wants to be with me .,. Give him more time etc. etc. . I haven’t posted because honestly I don’t really believe it and I don’t need other people to tell me he’s full of it . That’s pretty much already a given . So I have decided to only post is something significant happens . Ie..He leaves and files for divorce. He already knows this is a stipulation . Nothing less ... and yes he knows I did go out on a date last week . I had an amazing time and I am actually still talking to him at the moment . I promise if anything significant changes I will absolutely post until then it’s just bull**** and talk ...... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope71 Posted July 20, 2019 Author Share Posted July 20, 2019 He called me four times today and I did not answer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HowToQuit Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 Yes... Florida here! Any chance I can join? Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 Please ignore my post if I misread your status. Have you told your husband about the affair, have you filed for divorce? This is the best time to clean your life up, Mr. Right is just around the corner. Being married or someone's fall back option is a lot of baggage to take into any new relationship, it just screams that your not available. Most available men(the ones that are absolutely US Prime Grade AAA) won't get involved with a woman with that kind of baggage. Most of the kind of men you want to attract won't get involved with women just going through a divorce. They want women that have less complicated lives, they want women that have had a chance to be on their own for a while and have their s--t together. I have a friend who learned the hard way. She got involved with a man that was just going through a divorce after his 15 year marriage fell apart. She spent the last 5 years trying to make their relationship work(they have been living together for the last 2 years) but they are now splitting up. He never got a chance to be single and doesn't want to marry her at this time because he thinks he's missing too much and will regret not taking the time to get crazy with other women. It was like a switch got turned, he wants out. She just turned 43, has a thirteen year old daughter from a previous relationship and was single 7 years before she met him. She is totally devastated. She fell in love with a man that wasn't ready to be in a new relationship. You need to clean out the s--t in your life that makes you unavailable to Mr. Right. Do not start a new relationship with secrets and start respecting boundaries again. A little independent counselling might help you be the best you that you can be. Anyone coming into your life will want to know your safe. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope71 Posted July 23, 2019 Author Share Posted July 23, 2019 Just an update: I’ve been staying pretty busy. MM is contacting me but I’m very short and businesslike with him. He was on a trip over the weekend, supposedly a golfing trip. He called me while he was there also but I was working, so not much contact. He’s still saying he wants to be with me....blah blah blah...and he knows it’s all b.s. to me anyway. Saying a 34 year marriage is hard to unravel, etc....I never ever asked him to leave his marriage. It’s always him promising. So he knows that unless he makes a clean break, there’s zero chance for any “ relationship with me. So basically....same ol same ol.....lol. Hope everyone is doing well... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope71 Posted July 23, 2019 Author Share Posted July 23, 2019 Update.... Soooo development since last post. After MM and I talked earlier today he called a few hours later....I was leaving a meeting. When I answered he said”I’m out”. I said out of what?? Lol...he said the house. I said “ you left the house to call me.” He said...”no I LEFT. I’m going to a hotel!!”....he then told me after we talked he went home and his W confronted him about still calling me. He didn’t deny it, and said he told her he couldn’t not talk to me. I guess it escalated and she threatened him that their daughter would not talk to him...or “that woman”. He said then he decided to leave. Before anyone says it...no I cannot confirm any of this actually happened. It’s his account. Yes I also realize he can still return home..I certainly don’t expect him to move out tomorrow. I guess we will see.. Link to post Share on other sites
Beentheretoooften Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 Omg. First real development since I’ve been on LS. Can’t wait to see how it shakes out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope71 Posted July 23, 2019 Author Share Posted July 23, 2019 Do not go to the hotel! And don’t be alone with him until the divorce is final!!! I’m in another state. Lol highly unlikely. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope71 Posted July 23, 2019 Author Share Posted July 23, 2019 Spoke to mm at length. He’s going to Ftime me tonite. Something he would not do if he was home. He said his best friend called him and he declined the call....likely a mutual friend of his and W. I know he’s going through hell right now...because of me and it makes me feel horrible...,but he said it’s what has to happen.... Link to post Share on other sites
Starswillshine Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 Just be really careful. Extremely. And yes, no doubt it went much differently than what he explained, but sounds like something for sure happened. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope71 Posted July 24, 2019 Author Share Posted July 24, 2019 We ftimed. He is definitely in a hotel. He works in broadcasting so he will have to go home because he has a studio he uses for work. He also asked me to request a week off work before Labor Day so we can go away. Not sure I will get it.. but I will put in the request. So.....today has been crazy for sure!!! Lol Link to post Share on other sites
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