Can seeing someone in a different context lead to attraction?

[Gnulian]

Hi all.

 

Second time posting here and am hoping to get peoples views/opinions on this.

 

There is a girl I met at the gym who I started talking to a while back. Prob about 3-4 months ago.

 

Although all our encounters have always been in the gym, we do get along quite well and talk a lot about spirituality and philosophy.

 

I initially didn't have any feelings for her, but over the past month or so they have started to develop. Sometimes I get really nervous around her and I think she may have noticed that my feelings have changed. Apparently women are masters at this! She's also hinted a couple of times that we're friends.

 

When I met her initially, we got along so well that we booked tickets to go see a jazz concert. This concert is coming up in 4 days time and am wondering if she sees me in a different context, could her perception of me change? i.e. is there a possibility that she could be attracted to me? We have never met outside the gym and this is the first time it will happen.

 

I should point out, that even though I go to the gym, I'm no hunk and have got a bit of a beer belly. Perhaps she just likes my company but isn't attracted to me physically?

 

I know this may be a long shot, but I wanted to know if this has happened to people? And if so, what changed?

 

Basically what I'm asking is, if after knowing someone for 3-4 months but only in one context, has anyone had feelings develop after seeing someone in a different light? Or is knowing someone for 3-4 months (meeting 3-4 times a week) too long a time for perceptions to change?

 

Also, please don't reply that I should just move on, as that is what I intend to do if things don't work out. I just don't want to have any regrets of what could have been.

 

Thank you.

Edited July 8, 2019 by Gnulian

[MINAKO]

Yes, it is possible. I had a platonic guy friend in class and never had an interest other than a good platonic friendship. Then one day we made plans to see a movie and see some fireworks. For the first time, I saw him differently. I believe it was the change of environment, doing something different together, and getting to know him in a different light since we were not in class. He had even put his arm around me eventually, and I was fine with it. Ultimately, I was already seeing somebody so I could not continue that. Conversely, there are many times with people where my platonic feelings remained platonic even in different circumstances.

 

Therefore, although it is definitely possible for her mind to change (as she said you two are friends), it is just as possible for it not to. So, I highly recommend just trying to have the best time possible with her. Dress well, live it up. Be yourself. Just, do not have any expectations, as that is the root of most pain. If you have no expectation, then you might be pleasantly surprised if things work out. If they do not work out, it will still be fine as you never had expectation. But if you expect something, this could hurt you a lot in the end.

 

Again, have a blast, but do not specifically hope for something. Think of this as her getting to know you outside of the gym, and nothing more - see where it goes as things unfold.

 

*Adding in: no, there is never a time limit for perceptions to change. My perception of someone has changed before, after 5 whole years. It really does not matter.

Edited July 8, 2019 by MINAKO

[Michelle ma Belle]

Short answer - yes, absolutely.

 

That being said, don't put too many expectations on it either.

 

Enjoy it for what it is and nothing more...until there is reason to think there is more.

 

Good luck!