Asdi Posted July 8, 2019 Share Posted July 8, 2019 Hi guys I feel super upset right now and almost feel like crying...maybe I am overreacting you guys can tell me if I am.... So today was mine and my long distance boyfriend’s one year ‘anniversary’, so basically we told each other about our feelings and decided to get together on this day last year. So because he lives in a different city and we couldn’t meet up today as it’s a weekday and we both have work tomorrow we decided that we would get a small cake each and blow a candle on it over video call just for a small celebration. Not the problem is he bought the cake and he put it in his fridge and went to the gym....when he came back he rang me and told me to get my cake ready and he was gonna get his cake ready so we could both cut it at the same time but whilst he was on the phone to me his sister found the cake in the fridge and decided to eat most of it. She then texted him saying the cake was too yummy and that she’s left him a piece. So what was now left of the cake were two small pieces lying in a bed of crumbles...a complete disaster. We still did the mini celebration and he managed to put a candle on his disastrous piece of cake but this pissed me off completely and I didn’t enjoy any bit of it...this girl practically ruined our anniversary and the worst part is that he laughed it off as if it was something small. I didn’t express my emotions or let him know that I’m pissed off because I didn’t want to cause an argument...just tried keeping my cool. He said to me that when he was putting the cake in the fridge he told his sister there is a cake in the fridge but I need to do something with it later on tonight .....she obviously wasn’t paying attention and didn’t listen to him properly ... I think he should have specifically told her what it was for and to not eat it.... I’m so upset that she ruined it for us ... Guys am I overreacting? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 8, 2019 Share Posted July 8, 2019 you are totally overreacting...this may be the largest overreaction in the universe 3 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted July 8, 2019 Share Posted July 8, 2019 Stuff happens. But since she ruined it for you, try having a delayed one year anniversary when he knows she'll be out. Anything is better than nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 8, 2019 Share Posted July 8, 2019 it'll be a good story to tell your grandkids Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 this may be the largest overreaction in the universe :lmao: OP, you said yourself she wasn't paying attention. All she probably heard was "there's cake in the fridge." You need to be a lot more "go with the flow" than this to survive adulthood! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 How many actual face-to-face dates have you been on with this guy? you know it's not a real relationship until you've actually dated face to face. And yes you should just let it go. His intentions were good. no reason why his sister should take it seriously unless you've actually been dating face-to-face and met her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 Don’t sweat the small stuff. This is small stuff. This is the stuff that in the grand scheme of things really doesn’t matter at all. Long term relationship will have ups and downs, if you let a minor hiccup like this derail you - you will find being happy in life extremely difficult. So, instead choose where you will focus your energy. Choose what you will allow to bother you, and what will roll off like water off a ducks back. Resilience is a good quality to develop Link to post Share on other sites
SpiceCat Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 You are definitely overreacting. Like WAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY over the top overreacting. It's just a cake! Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 Yes, very much over reacting. And your boyfriend is correct that it's something small and pretty funny. If I were in your shoes, I would have thought your boyfriend putting a candle in the crumbs to be funny/adorable. Find your sense of humour. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 This is an overreaction. I vote that the next time you guys see each other in person, you light a candle over a dessert (you can bake another cake together, or get a sundae, or something of that nature) to celebrate it properly as a "redo" if this incident continues to upset you. That way you can have a quality memory with him without his sister. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 May this be the biggest problem you ever experience in your relationship! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 If I were your bf, I’d seriously consider breaking up with you over your reaction to something so ridiculous. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MINAKO Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 I agree with others here, this is a huge overreaction and I could not help but laugh too when you mentioned your boyfriend laughed. This really is not serious at all, and his sister eating some cake really does not mean the anniversary is ruined in any way. Besides, it is just cake, something so shallow/materialistic. It should not hold that much weight in your mind, and should never be the decider of what makes a good celebration. If this anniversary was ruined, then it was ruined only in your own mind. I hope these posts help make you feel better, as in, this was no big deal and it is all fine. If I were your bf, I’d seriously consider breaking up with you over your reaction to something so ridiculous. A powerful statement. Same... I would assume my lover has anger issues if something like this got him so upset. This was cake. Imagine real life problems. /Again, OP, this is all coming from a place of love and concern. Well wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 Yes, you are completely over-reacting, OP. It is a such a petty thing to freak out over. If I were your boyfriend, I'd be having doubts about you now, and your ability to pick your battles and manage disappointments when they arise. Life is going to throw you much bigger curve-balls than a disastrous cake, girl. You're showing your boyfriend you don't know how to handle upset very well and will blame him for things that aren't his fault. Apologize for losing your cool. Be sincere. Plan another way to celebrate your anniversary, and for your own sake, learn to gain some perspective and chill out a bit. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 It’s seems pretty consistent, you are over reacting. While I appreciate your interest in celebrating your anniversary (congrats by the way), it’s just a cake. Focus on the things that really matter... Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 Can't tell if serious...... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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