lynnered Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 Can you think of times you felt in love with someone & later realized U werent? if so what made you see things more clearly & what did U decide was going on? Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 My answer is yes. What made me see things more clearly? I climaxed. What did I decide was going on? I realized I was having sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 I realized I didn't really know the person. I fell in love with what I knew - and then I found out there was more and that the extra stuff negated the stuff I liked. It takes time to fall in love. If you're 'in love' fairly early on (before the first half-year is over), then question it. If it lasts longer than that then you may be in love. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 Not fall in love, what happened to me was more like a false crush or infatuation. I started dating a guy who turned out to be married and lied about a bunch of things. For two weeks I thought I had a huge crush on him then got disappointed and forgot him right away. Another time I thought I really liked a guy who dumped me and I was hurt. Later I realized that he was offended that I kissed another guy and my hurt was healed. He was more like a FWB so I didn't have to be faithful to him. Both "relationships" were very unserious. If you question your love then just imagine that you're not with him anymore and that he loves another woman. If that hurts then you probably love him. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 Gosh that I would happen to me all the time when I was a teenager!!! As I got older I realized that when you are young every boyfriend or crush is the greatest love of them all (until the next one comes around:p ) Link to post Share on other sites
Author lynnered Posted September 26, 2005 Author Share Posted September 26, 2005 My answer is yes. What made me see things more clearly? I climaxed. What did I decide was going on? I realized I was having sex. :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 There are SO many different kinds of loves, on many different levels too. The longer you're with somebody, the deeper the love grows. It may not feel all new and shiney like a brand new quarter, but it's still wonderful. The test is once you get past the f*** yer brains out, 24/7 with the other person, you find out what is what. Lust and sexual attraction can be mixed up with love. But depending on how one looks at it, that could very well be a different love too. Link to post Share on other sites
JayKay Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 I used to confuse 'love' with 'attraction' There were a few guys I remember instantly and powerfully feeling attracted to, from the very minute I met them. The relationships that followed ran hot and fast, but all fizzled out within months. Naturally, those relationships left me feeling devastated. I'd been certain I was 'in love'. How could such powerful, intense feelings be wrong? I've since learned, after many many years, that true love often starts slow and builds over time. It becomes very very deep, but only after trust and intimacy have been allowed to grow. And that takes some hard work. The instantaneous, heady 'rush' I felt during instant attraction was a bunch of chemicals released in reaction to someone's body type, eye color or even the shape of their face. We are hard-wired to find certain physical traits attractive. When someone is in possession of them, we get socked with all those lovely chemicals that just make you shiver with delight, "Oh MY GOD. He is SO HOT. I HAVE to have him!" You are so drugged up on these chemicals that for months afterward, you don't listen when he says demeaning things about women, you don't notice that he has a bad little coke habit, you conveniently forget that he can't hold a job or speak without swearing. Interesting, isn't it? I've heard of the term 'love junkies' and these are people who are so addicted to that heady, chemical-rush feeling that they head out of any relationship when the first attraction dies down because they are certain they are 'not in love' any longer. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 My answer is yes. What made me see things more clearly? I climaxed. What did I decide was going on? I realized I was having sex. OMG! :lmao: Johan, you rock! No, this has never happened to me personally. I have never thought I loved someone and then realized that I didn't. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 I realized I didn't really know the person. I fell in love with what I knew - and then I found out there was more and that the extra stuff negated the stuff I liked. Ditto - kind of. I've never been unreservedly in love with anyone, and to be honest I don't think I could be. That would be require the object of that love to be some sort of perfect being who would never ever disappoint me or let me down. Not an expectation I'd place on anyone, or accept them placing on me. You can only try not to disappoint or be disappointed, but there will always be times it happens. Last time I fell out of love was when the disappointments became too many, deliberate and huge for love to be possible any more. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 We are hard-wired to find certain physical traits attractive. When someone is in possession of them, we get socked with all those lovely chemicals that just make you shiver with delight, "Oh MY GOD. He is SO HOT. I HAVE to have him!" You are so drugged up on these chemicals that for months afterward, you don't listen when he says demeaning things about women, you don't notice that he has a bad little coke habit, you conveniently forget that he can't hold a job or speak without swearing. Interesting, isn't it? Exactly. I think everybody has been in a relationship like that and it's such a rollercoaster ride. The bad does outweigh the good near the end, yet the sex is still so hot and it's like the hormones take over and nothing else matters except getting laid by that person. Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 yeah, I agree. The answer to this tricky question would be <what's left after the orgasm>. Before that it's mostly the testosterone talkin'. Link to post Share on other sites
JayKay Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 ....or in my case, the estrogen! LOL LOL LOL Yeah, when it's all chemicals, you start asking yourself, "Is there anything good about this relationship besides the sex?" When you can't come up with an answer within a minute...there's a problem Link to post Share on other sites
3questions Posted October 4, 2005 Share Posted October 4, 2005 Falling in love? Yes to your question. It was the greatest thing to be in love, but It was over as soon as It felt like I was missing out. Different girls? I dont know. It is like picking "want" over "need". Word of advice though, just dont get confused over the two or your life will be disoragnized. Stay on track! .. wow im a 16 year old preaching to you gys/gals?.. lol. Pathetic of me.. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 4, 2005 Share Posted October 4, 2005 I fell in love 3 times. The first time was just puppy love and we both went our seperate ways. No hard feelings The 2nd time I fell in love with a lie and married her. She turned out not to be what she presented herself to be and we got divorced The 3rd time is the woman I am with right now. I hope it is the real thing Link to post Share on other sites
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