Hope71 Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 Besides this board , what do you all do between work and trying to stay sane? I know we all find ourselves with more free time that sometimes makes our minds spin in circles. What do you all do to stay sane and stop from wanting to contact the ex MM? For myself I like fitness..working out gets my stress and anger out. I also spend time with my dog. A sweet Bassett hound. I’m open for some good suggestions. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 It’s different, but when my mom passed away I joined a knitting group. It gave me social contact, and it gave me something to do when I was home alone. It’s was new learning, so it required a fair bit of concentration - it kept my mind busy... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Starswillshine Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 I hiked. I felt most at peace in nature. I could be out there and really think. I didnt have service in a lot of places I hike, so I couldnt text him. I would cry my eyeballs out. Also, I love photography, especially nature photography so bringing my camera along with me gave me something to really focus my attention on when i needed to get out of my feelings. I also reinvested with all my friends. Lots of lunches and dinners. Went to the movies by myself. Did a lot of things alone. (For me i was divorcing, so I had to prove to myself I could anything alone). I took solo trips. Weektrio road trips, and across the ocean multiple week trips. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlet86 Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 I’m only 5 weeks in so I’m trying to figure this out myself. Right now I’ve signed back up for the gym, signed my daughter up for gymnastics and got a membership to the pool. I went and got some mindless cheesy novels from the library as well. We spend our evenings going from place to place to try and keep my mind busy. I feel like I need to change my work environment but I haven’t found another job with comparable salary so I’m stuck for now. Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixRising8 Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 (edited) During my marriage I became increasingly isolated so there hasn't been much of a support network after the breakup with xMM. He was my support at the end of my marriage. Just before we broke up, I lost my job, on top of everything else so the last 2 months have been extremely difficult. A few weeks ago, I looked into meetup groups and they have been a godsend. I happen to live in a big city so the choices are infinite. These meetup groups are all over North America and range from health and wellness to social to travel for singles. I've joined about a dozen groups. I now have a regular support group through meetup I go to. Even though it's not specific to OWs, I have found them invaluable because at the core, people have the same issues ranging from abandonment to self confidence to abuse. Even though there isn't much time for talking about my own issues, it's the listening to other people's issues and the feedback that is invaluable. They mirror many feelings I have and I learn so much. More than in individual sessions, which I also do. I've also joined a couple of women's groups through meetup and went out for dinner with one group this past Saturday. This Friday I am going out with one of the ladies I met. Saturday I'm going to a comedy show with a singles group. I've also been to a couple of dances. And last fall I met a guy on a dating app. There was no connection beyond friendship but we go out once a week for coffee, walks, street festivals or whatever else is going on around the city. Being alone and single has given me the freedom to try different things. It was daunting the first week I did this a few weeks ago because I was doing it alone but I quickly realized so was everyone else. The groups meet regularly so you have the opportunity to get to know people over time and develop friendships. One day, I may even meet "the one" but for now, I am content to join these groups for dinners, shows etc and just get out, particularly on the days/evenings I would regularly see xMM (Friday\Saturday nights). Those date nights were particularly difficult. I've had to push myself because often I don't feel like going out alone but push myself I do. It's getting easier and I've actually had fun. Check out meetups because there is a huge variety. In many respects, I am lucky to be a single recovering OW because I have no one to explain my moods and upset to. Oh yes, the best part? I start a new job in a couple of weeks. It's a one year contract but it buys me a year so it's all good. Edited July 9, 2019 by LilKatKat 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope71 Posted July 10, 2019 Author Share Posted July 10, 2019 Kat that is awesome!! I need to do something like that myself!! It sounds like so much fun!! Link to post Share on other sites
SpiceCat Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 I know my situation is different, but I joined a support group, and I also volunteered at my local animal shelter. Helping helpless creatures makes me feel good about myself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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