disneyfan90 Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 I've had a friend since my early teen years. When we got to high school and college, we grew a little closer as we were part of the same close group of friends. But some time in the last 4-5 years, we grew very close to the point where we talked on the phone almost everyday. Our friends group also remained fairly close. During these 4-5 years, we'd tell each other everything. She was my one of my sources of emotional support and vice versa. But most importantly, she'd always ask me to proofread her essays - through her undergrad years, and even during some classes she took post-college. I did this because I considered her a good friend, wanted to see her succeed, and also because I do somewhat enjoy editing papers. I also helped her write her admissions essay for grad school. Then she got into grad school halfway across the country, and she gradually stopped texting and calling. I didn't really bother to reach out either - we both got busy, and grew apart because of distance. But our small group of friends remained the same - every now and then we'd hangout in a group whenever she came back to visit, and everything seemed fine. No, she and I no longer maintained regular communication, but whenever we all met up, things were nice. Most recently, she just graduated from graduate school, and made a Facebook post about it, thanking all her family and friends. She specifically listed people who helped her out during this journey - and listed everyone in our group of friends except for me. I feel silly agonizing over something as small as a Facebook post. After all, I never take social media all that seriously, and I know I shouldn't. But I can't help but wonder if she did this on purpose, and if there's some meaning behind it. We are a relatively small group, and it doesn't make sense for her to just have forgotten about my existence - especially since we all meet up from time to time. And especially after I helped her write her essays, I feel a little hurt over this. But I don't want to be bothered by it, because I know it's silly. How can I just let it go? Or do I talk to her about it? Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 (edited) I feel your pain on this, have been there in similar scenarios. there are a few ways you could play it, not sure which is the best way the direct approach- tell your friend straight out you are annoyed at this and request an explanation. I feel you are entitled to an explanation, however the other side of this is do you really want to give your friend the satisfaction of knowing that you are annoyed about it. Say nothing but become even more distant- perhaps do not respond the next time she contacts or fob her off with a curt " I am too busy" (Actions speak louder than words so to speak) Take no offence at all- You were teenage friends but have drifted apart nowadays and she has moved on with her life. as you say yourself is there any need to get rattled by something as irrelevant as a facebook post, you will face much more difficult things than that in life. If it was me- rightly or wrongly I would probably ask her straight out and demand an explanation. Probably the main thing anyway as is often the case- make sure you build your own life- push yourself forward- work on achieving your own dreams- then you will not care what your friend does. Edited July 10, 2019 by Foxhall Link to post Share on other sites
Whodatdog Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 I would let it go. If you talk to her about it, you are detracting from a great accomplishment that she did to a petty response you have about a FB post. Be the bigger person, let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 Well, you could always just call her up and congratulate her on her accomplishment and then passively aggressively tell her: "I'm so glad I could help you with all the proof reading and admittance essays" and then change the subject by asking her what her plans are now that she's graduated. That will get it out there and off your mind and chest. BTW: What was it that all the people she thanked did for her? Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 BTW: What did all the people she thanked do for her? Anything major? Minor? Link to post Share on other sites
Author disneyfan90 Posted July 12, 2019 Author Share Posted July 12, 2019 BTW: What did all the people she thanked do for her? Anything major? Minor? Well, the friends she had thanked hadn't really done anything major! Not as far as I know, at least. Some she communicated with regularly, and some she didn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author disneyfan90 Posted July 12, 2019 Author Share Posted July 12, 2019 Thanks for all the responses. Yes, it truly seems to me like the best thing to do is just let it go. It is true that there are much bigger challenges to face in life, and I feel silly even worrying about something like this. Even more so, I don't really have a desire to be close friends with her again. While some parts of our friendship were good, other parts weren't, and it was a little emotionally taxing. I'd prefer to just let that go completely. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 Well, the friends she had thanked hadn't really done anything major! Not as far as I know, at least. Some she communicated with regularly, and some she didn't. That you know of! Try not to take it personally. You both grew apart and you're not part of her daily life anymore. Congratulate her and tell her that you want to celebrate with her soon! Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 I know the feeling, but just let it go. Some people are only our lives for a season. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 For many people friendship is - what have you done for me lately. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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