Cali4Dude Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 I would appreciate some perspective on how to deal with my girlfriend and her temper. It is not a day-to-day anger thing, and normally she is very sweet. She's also very smart and fun to be with, but recently an incident occurred that has me concerned. She was at her apartment and a guy was there to work on her A/C, which is constantly having issues. He "accidentally" walked in on her while she was changing...he claimed it was an accident but she thinks he did it intentionally as instead of turning around immediately, he took his time getting an eyeful of her in a t-shirt and thong. Instead of just reporting him to the building and getting out of there, she became enraged an ended up beating him up pretty badly. She has a 2nd degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and before this guy knew what hit him he was out cold, with a couple of broken ribs and a hugely swollen black eye. I want to believe her and think this guy probably got what he deserved, but it is also not the first time she has beaten up a guy. She had a restraining order against an ex-boyfriend, which he stupidly ignored and wound up in the hospital for a few days. She's never been violent with me, but I wonder if she took things to far with the maintenance guy and if I should be worried about her as a long term partner given her temper and proclivity to use her martial arts skills on men. Thanks for any advice. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 I've always liked women who kicked ass, but maybe not so literally and repeatedly. All I can say is don't piss her off. I mean hell, even trying to break up with her would be like contusion roulette. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 Where there's smoke there's a fire. My nephew dated a girl who blacked his eye over an argument. I think I'd let this one go. Who needs that crap in their life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cali4Dude Posted July 10, 2019 Author Share Posted July 10, 2019 Where there's smoke there's a fire. My nephew dated a girl who blacked his eye over an argument. I think I'd let this one go. Who needs that crap in their life. Yeah that is my thought too, but honestly I don't feel threatened (although intimidated)...the relationship is really good and honestly the sex is mind-blowing. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 honestly the sex is mind-blowing. It often is with the bat**** crazy ones ... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 It's your call but you know the potential here. My nephews gf at the time never changed and from time to time this arose. I think it's admirable for a girl to defend herself but if it's more than that then you have a problem. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 She has a 2nd degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and before this guy knew what hit him he was out cold, with a couple of broken ribs and a hugely swollen black eye. Is there a legal aspect to this? Police report? Assault charges? Most women only wish they could marshal this reaction to a strange man in a threatening situation. Hard to evaluate without a clearer understanding of the encounter... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 (edited) I'm struggling to understand why she would be undressing when there is a stranger in the house anyway . . . that's a problem. I would suspect that she may be encouraging voyeurism and/or attention. The anger is a likely just for show. You need to talk to her. She should not be leaving him unattended in her house anyway let alone disrobing in the next room. This is a red flag, IMO. There is no way in hell that I would be in another room changing my clothes when there is a service/repair man in the house. That's asinine. Edited July 10, 2019 by Redhead14 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cali4Dude Posted July 10, 2019 Author Share Posted July 10, 2019 Is there a legal aspect to this? Police report? Assault charges? Most women only wish they could marshal this reaction to a strange man in a threatening situation. Hard to evaluate without a clearer understanding of the encounter... Mr. Lucky Yes she called the police and when they got there the guy was still out cold. I arrived after he came around and no charges ended up being filed either way. His memory was predictably foggy (he didn't know where he was for a while) but then he denied that it was anything other than a misunderstanding. She had calmed down by then and I think she enjoyed the look on his face knowing what a mistake he had made in messing with her. The cops were drooling over her as she is quite a hottie, and I basically had to usher them out or they would have hung around all day. They actually asked him if he wanted to press charges since he had the broken ribs and likely orbital socked, and was bound for the hospital, but ultimately he declined as I think having to admit you got your ass kicked by a 5'2 95 pound woman would have been too embarrassing. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 Self defence is great. But this was an unjustified attack - not to mention that all those years of martial arts training has left her still unable to control herself. Isn't self control one of the major parts of martial arts? If my boyfriend attacked a man who looked at me too long, he'd find himself dumped. And blocked!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cali4Dude Posted July 10, 2019 Author Share Posted July 10, 2019 I'm struggling to understand why she would be undressing when there is a stranger in the house anyway . . . that's a problem. I would suspect that she may be encouraging voyeurism and/or attention. The anger is a likely just for show. You need to talk to her. She should not be leaving him unattended in her house anyway let alone disrobing in the next room. This is a red flag, IMO. There is no way in hell that I would be in another room changing my clothes when there is a service/repair man in the house. That's asinine. This is a good point that I am glad you brought up, as it is the same thing I asked her as I didn't think it was wise. She definitely enjoys teasing men and dresses in revealing outfits (yoga pants, booty shorts) and because of her constant martial arts training has a very toned and tight physique. In her defense in this case it was super hot in her apartment (which is why the guy was there). She said she thought she had locked the door, but I was suspicious why she would not be more careful since she also mentioned that the guy was leering at her as she bent over to show him the vent that was not working. I mean how does she notice that a guy is drooling over her and then walks in the next room and peels off her shorts? In the end I think she is just so confident (for good reason) due to her black belt so she never worries about her safety because she can more than take care of herself, which she reminds me frequently. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cali4Dude Posted July 10, 2019 Author Share Posted July 10, 2019 Self defence is great. But this was an unjustified attack - not to mention that all those years of martial arts training has left her still unable to control herself. Isn't self control one of the major parts of martial arts? If my boyfriend attacked a man who looked at me too long, he'd find himself dumped. And blocked!! Couldn't agree more about how there is a disconnect between her martial arts training and inability to control her hot temper. Part of me worries that she gets off on using her skills against men and that it is only a matter of time before I end up on the wrong end of one of her beatings. I am also very fit and outweigh her by 60 lbs, but I would be no match for her in a fight having watched her spar with guys over 200 lbs and clean their clocks! Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 Even if you don't end up on the wrong end of her fists, do you really want to be with someone who assaults others? How are the police handling her assault of the service guy? If it's as bad as you say, there's certainly evidence. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cali4Dude Posted July 10, 2019 Author Share Posted July 10, 2019 Even if you don't end up on the wrong end of her fists, do you really want to be with someone who assaults others? How are the police handling her assault of the service guy? If it's as bad as you say, there's certainly evidence. Yeah that's the thing though...I'm not 100% certain she wasn't justified in her beating this guy to a pulp, as I wasn't there. She said she felt threatened and I have to believe her, but there is a part of me that is suspicious that she enjoys it, which is why I appreciate everyone weighing in. Regarding the police...yes they asked him about pressing charges but as I said earlier, I don't think he wants to be the poster boy for getting his lights kicked out by a hot chick. The press loves these types of stories and I'm grateful it has stayed out of the news to date. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 I would just go with whatever your gut tells you. If it feels right to be with her then be with her, if not then don't. Keep in mind though, if you do end up knocked out cold you'll have nobody but yourself to blame for not being able to handle her. Don't run with the bulls if you don't want, and can't take, the horn. Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 Couldn't agree more about how there is a disconnect between her martial arts training and inability to control her hot temper. Part of me worries that she gets off on using her skills against men and that it is only a matter of time before I end up on the wrong end of one of her beatings. I am also very fit and outweigh her by 60 lbs, but I would be no match for her in a fight having watched her spar with guys over 200 lbs and clean their clocks! wow... I think you should trust your gut. Maybe she staged the whole thing hoping for a chance to use her MA. When I have a strange man in my house the last thing I am going to do is go into another room and change my clothes. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 If he touched her and didn't stop when she said "no" she would be justified in disabling him. But beating him to a pulp means beating on him when he's down and is no longer a threat. That's assault. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 (edited) Rayce, my exact thoughts. And, unless he put his hands on her, her assault on him was excessive. Something's not quite right with the story anyway, IMO. I'm struggling to believe that the police were hanging around gawking at her when they were investigating the circumstances behind a man being sent to the hospital by a woman who has specialized training and ability to seriously hurt someone. Usually people with martial arts training use great restraint before deciding to use those skills. They have respect for the art and understanding of their responsibility with that kind of power. At least the mature artists do . . . Edited July 11, 2019 by Redhead14 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 I would just go with whatever your gut tells you. If it feels right to be with her then be with her, if not then don't. Keep in mind though, if you do end up knocked out cold you'll have nobody but yourself to blame for not being able to handle her. Don't run with the bulls if you don't want, and can't take, the horn. Agreed. Gut feeling is the best advice. but maybe mind blowing sex is worth the risk? don't know, OP has to weight the pros and cons. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 I find it highly unattractive that a woman would change with a strange man in the house and then beat him for seeing her in that state. Trust me if he was a big guy and an aggressor it would not have ended well for her. There are weight classes in fighting for a reason. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 l'm very surprised she can't control her temper too martial arts is all about control. And why did she go so overboard on the service guy sounds ridiculous, and it probably was an accident is my guess. The ex bf thing too, sounds way too far. l think she'd have some head problems you just don't know about yet, well apart from that stuff so far anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Cathy7 Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 This is weird and too much... it's way too much to behave like that towards that guy... personally, I would be scared. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 I doubt very much that this is the end of it. The company he works for will likely want a formal investigation because an employee was beaten up while doing his job and with some questionable circumstances. The cops are going to be back around to her and the employee may be required to press charges against her due to the accusation of some kind of harassment. The company will want to protect it's reputation and it's employee or discipline/fire the employee. This isn't going away. I'm questioning the credibility of this story anyway -- just saying. I'm not too sure a young woman is going to undress while there is a service man in the home. It's just too dumb to be real -- unless the girl has "issues" and did this intentionally. If she did, she may end up being the one in a world of hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cali4Dude Posted July 11, 2019 Author Share Posted July 11, 2019 I doubt very much that this is the end of it. The company he works for will likely want a formal investigation because an employee was beaten up while doing his job and with some questionable circumstances. The cops are going to be back around to her and the employee may be required to press charges against her due to the accusation of some kind of harassment. The company will want to protect it's reputation and it's employee or discipline/fire the employee. This isn't going away. I'm questioning the credibility of this story anyway -- just saying. I'm not too sure a young woman is going to undress while there is a service man in the home. It's just too dumb to be real -- unless the girl has "issues" and did this intentionally. If she did, she may end up being the one in a world of hurt. Redhead - I appreciate your perspective - a couple of comments in response: - Legal issue: agree that this could not be the end of it and I am concerned about her legal standing, but this is a handyman at an apartment complex, not a full time employee. The company that manages the property could pursue it, but I wouldn't be surprised if he is paid in cash and we never hear anything else about it. At most they don't want a case where one of their workers harassed a tenant. - You can chose to think that I'm making all of this up but I can assure it happened. My GF definitely has issues, mostly from her childhood and I have encouraged her to pursue therapy but she doesn't want to go in to it. My motivation for posting this was to get perspective of others and it has been helpful. I will likely pursue exiting the relationship but mostly I'm going to be on lookout for other warning signs about her temper. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 I mean she isn't credible. I don't believe a word she says about how this all went down given her overall attention seeking behavior and blatant displays intended to draw men's stares, etc. I feel badly for that man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts