10 years together.

[Lovemademecrazy]

I’m new to this site, looking to solve all my problems. I know it’s unrealistic, but here’s the situation. I am a 29 year old female, my girlfriend is 28 years old, and we have been together 10 years. Our communication is not great at all. We don’t discuss what turns us on, what we like in bed what we don’t like. Anything to do with sex she shuts down and will not talk about it. She says it’s because I have a judgey face and tone in my voice. I try to discuss things with her, but she says she has no fantasies, just likes the way we have sex.. which is incredibly boring. We hardly ever have sex, because she’s “lazy” her words not mine. She wants to.. but she’s so lazy. I’m not buying it, in the last 2 months we’ve had sex 1 time. When we have sex, I don’t orgasm. I have never had an orgasm, with her. I make self orgasm in private, I didn’t say anything in the beginning bc we were young, I never imagined being together 10 years from then. It snow balled and here it is ten years later and still no orgasm. I love making her cum so sex is fun except when we have sex the same exact way every time... enough about sex. Here lately every single thing she does gets on my nerves, she works from home. I’m at home 99% of the time bc I’m a full time nursing student who works a 1 day a week. So we’re together A LOT. A LOT. There’s no where to go because we currently live in a 300 sq ft home. Just her talking gets on my nerves. I am not attracted really attracted to her anymore.. she smells majority of the time. Her breath smells weird and is a a HUGE turn off. She doesn’t take care of herself, and I’m frustrated. When I ask her if she’s happpy she says she is, and when I say I’m not she shuts down and will not talk to me. She takes everything so personal, which is where our communication is terrible. I’ve suggested therapy.. she agrees to go but never puts any effort into trying to go. I want to be with her, but things have to change. We have this discussion every 2 years it seems and every time she says things will change. They never do, I know it sounds like I don’t have flaws.. I do. I have a lot I’m not perfect, but she is not vocal about what gets on her nerves. I need advice to help save my relationship. Thanks

[elaine567]

Sorry but this relationship seems to have run its course.

Time to move on is my advice.

 

One person can not save a relationship.

[It'sSmiley]

You actually want to save this relationship? I agree with the above poster about the relationship running it's course. It's time to end it and move on. Find someone you can't live without, not someone you can't stand.

[Lovemademecrazy]

You actually want to save this relationship? I agree with the above poster about the relationship running it's course. It's time to end it and move on. Find someone you can't live without' date=' not someone you can't stand.[/quote']

 

I do, I don’t want to give up on something that we haven’t tried to fix. I want her to try, and then we can call it quits. I don’t know why she’s on my nerves so hard right now, but I do want to try. I don’t think I can live without her. She’s my person when she’s not on my nerves. We have really good times just right now it seems to be in a rut, and these happen sometimes.

Like every couple of years or so...

[stillafool]

But you aren't even attracted to her anymore.

[olivetree]

Here's a couple things you can do:

1. Go study out of the house so you have more time apart. That much togetherness can drive anyone crazy.

2. Make a therapy appointment and tell her when and where. If she doesn't show up, at least you have that appointment for yourself to help you navigate this.

[Mr. Lucky]

I am a 29 year old female, my girlfriend is 28 years old, and we have been together 10 years.

 

Lovemademecrazy, most of us read LoveShack on our phones, so paragraphs and punctuation will get you more replies. Hard to read a block of text.

 

Looks like you were 19 and she 18 when you met and got together, a lifetime ago in terms of growth and maturity. Since you're not the same people, you may have to accept you don't have the same relationship.

 

As other have pointed out, probably time to move on...

 

Mr. Lucky

[ExpatInItaly]

You openly admit you are not attracted to her, that she isn't open to the idea of therapy, there is poor communication and unsatisfying sex.

 

I am not sure what exactly you are trying to save here. It sounds like you both grew up and grew apart ages ago but are still together because it's convenient and familiar.

 

I personally think it's past time that you let each other go so you can both find better matches.