I got an answer after 2 years

[mortensorchid]

My Facebook memory section popped up something that had happened to me about two years ago. For review, this is what happened:

 

I had an online friend (at some point we had met in the flesh but she had reached out to me in Facebook IMs) who was also a substitute teacher. We worked for the same two substitute teaching outfits in the area, and she and I would have gripe sessions about the things we had encountered as we had both subbed at some of the same schools (students, administration, etc.). One day, out of the blue, she asked me if I would be interested in meeting a friend of hers. We had NEVER talked about things related to dating / relationships before, the only thing close is when she shared a picture of her husband with me and said her husband is/was a handsome hunk. When I saw his picture I agreed, but that was about the extent of it. She said she had this friend Bob who asked her if she knew any single women, and did I want to meet him? So, I said okay.

 

He and I friended each other on Facebook, we had a few conversations online and he asked if I wanted to meet. That weekend, we met at a nearby restaurant for dinner. What did I think of him? Well, he was nice, to be sure, based on the little that I knew about him at that point and on the evening we had. He walked me to my car and we said our good-byes and I went home. When I got home I went online and my friend (who I will call Jane) was on the computer, she asked how things went. I said he seemed like a good guy and we had a good time, thanks.

 

What happened after that? He and I texted for the next day or two, then on the third day afterward I sent a "good morning" text and he never responded. He was just another man in the chain, that was that and I figured NEXT. What hurt after that was that Jane blocked me. I have another profile on Facebook for spying and saw that her profile was still there, she just blocked me. I was hurt by that. Just because things didn't work between me and him didn't mean I would hold it against her by any means.

 

Today, when I saw some memories of check ins on my Facebook feed, I found her on my other profile and wrote her a message about it. I told her that just because things didn't work between me and him didn't mean that I was going to hold it against her. And that I was hurt by the fact that she blocked me over that without any discussion. She responded and said that she didn't block me over that. She had some issues going on with her marriage - her husband was/is a drunk and she kicked him out and divorced him. She blocked me and other friends because she couldn't deal with me/them as well.

 

I didn't respond. I got my answer, but it doesn't mean we're going to be friends again. I'm sorry she had this happen to her, it had nothing to do with me or that guy she introduced me to, but the damage is over and done with. How do I feel? Well, I feel somewhat better than I got an answer, but I won't reach out any further. It's done.

[alphamale]

most people are meant to only be in your life for a limited amount of time

[rainbow12]

Jane said she didn't block you but yet has admitted to blocking you because of her marriage. Don't you see how this doesn't make sense because it's just a excuse to get rid of you. If you have marriage problems do you get rid of your friends? No, it's got nothing to do with them. This woman is crazy and she did you a huge amount of favour. This man you was on a date with whom has ignored you wasn't worth it.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

When I was going through the second (most traumatic) split with my ex-Husband, I unfriended a lot of people on Facebook. Looking back, some of them don't even make sense to me now, but I know I did because I just didn't feel like having them look into my life (even though I never post personal relationship stuff on Facebook) or asking me about it. So I get it. I never blocked anyone (except my pervy cousin) but I do get why she did it.

[mortensorchid]

I don't think there is any true answer to why she did what she did. I'm sorry that she ended up divorcing her husband (of which I had no idea of until I went to her profile just recently) and that they had all the problems that they were having. But I still won't dig any further into it, she's not a person I want as a friend because she's unstable enough to blame me or others for her marriage failing, which it isn't. But I don't think we have anything we need to say, I have resolved the question why she did it (because she's a blamer and/or crazy), and that's that.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

she's unstable enough to blame me or others for her marriage failing.

 

What? She didn't do this.....

[The Outlaw]

Just brush it under the rug the best you can and forget about it. You said so yourself, she isn't someone you want as a friend. And more than half the time if not all, none of us will ever get full closure from anyone we've felt wronged by. It sucks, but it's life.

[schlumpy]

I unfriended a lot of people on Facebook. I just didn't feel like having them look into my life So I get it. I never blocked anyone (except my pervy cousin) but I do get why she did it.

 

That was my first thought. She is resetting her life and getting rid of anything that reminds her of the husband to include friends that might stir old memories.

Nothing worse then listening to friends try to support you when you suspect that they are actually thinking what a failure you are regardless of how fair that is. Not rational I agree, but divorce rarely is.

 

I think eventually she will drift back once the emotional pain lessons. Try to forgive.

 

Not as radical but similar events in your life might come when the nest is empty and mom and dad kick up their togetherness time a notch or in my case as when I retired. My wife thought I was throwing my life away when to me I was clearing the clutter and bringing a new focus to bear.

 

Best Wishes