Long Talks and Loving Walks....

[Sailynn]

Over the past few weeks, my ex-GF and I have gotten together on numerous occasions. We've had long serious talks, very open and honest about our past relationship, what makes us tick and what was right about the relationship and what went wrong. It's been very enlightening.

 

The last talk we had, she told me she had been dreaming about me, and that we were together on long trips and staying in fancy hotels and stuff. She had also told me that she had told her best girlfriends that she was talking to me. She told me they reacted with excitement and pleasure that we were together and talking. She told me her friends told her that we were always so cute together and fun to be around. She said she told them we weren't dating, yet.

 

She also sat there and reminisced about our initial meeting, our first dates, where we went, first kiss, where it was, etc. I told her that I always wanted to be around her ever since the first time I saw her. She reached out and held my hand with both of hers. I began to massage her hand and she closed her eyes and moaned and purred continually and then told me how good it felt. When we left the restaurant, she came close, wrapped her arm around my waist and we slowly strolled to the parking lot.

 

If I was the most unattentive male, the worst body language reader and couldn't pick up on a thing, I believe that I would have picked up, and unmistakably so, that this woman was definitely attracted and interested in me and feeling really good doing so - and wanting more.

 

I'm still just playing the observer at the moment, taking it all in.

 

Thoughts? Similar experiences?

[Winger]

Sounds legit...don't rush into anything though. You don't want the same problems cropping up and having your heart broken again.

 

Did you have any time to evaluate the relationship? Did you guys give each other enough space to grow individually before you started talking again? If not, you might run into the same rut.

 

BUT - sometimes space can make you miss someone and realize how much you love them. This could be what's happening. Go with it...see what happens but try not to get hurt.

[Sailynn]

It's been 1.5 years since we split, initiated by her. There was no contact by me for over eight months. There has only been one episode of contact about seven months ago. That meeting was okay, but I could tell it wasn't time, so it was back to NC.

 

Personally, I read, relaxed, met new friends, enjoyed new activities, became involved in the community, the church, joined a band and became active. I dated, but never sought a serious relationship.

 

In July of this year, she contacted me out of the blue, wanting to talk. We've been talking ever since and the conversations have been open, honest enlightening and intimate. Each time more revealing, more endearing, more intimate, more healing and more romantic. Say what you will, but it's rare for "just friends" to stroll along a darkened abandoned street, holding hands, window shopping, and forgetting about the time. It's rare that friends sit on a patio, with their eyes closed massaging hands in total silence, except for the moans and purrs.

 

The catch in all this is that these open and intimate talks is what I've longed for all my life and it is just endearing her to me even more. It's just deepening my love. I have to take it slow or I'll be dead meat, but actually, I'm at a place where she can come or go if she wishes.

[pippen_2k]

Hmmm I dunno.. I dont hear many stories here that end up good, but yours seems a lil different.

 

IF you can act cool and and still enjoy your time by yourself without letting her reap on your mind 24/7, id say you may have a chance.

 

But once you start getting too deep into this and start longing for her again your screwed.

 

Keep an emotional distance ( if possible ) and see what happends. If you find yourself getting 'desperate' for her again back right off.

[Sailynn]

I believe you're right. I have been acting cool. Actually, what I've been doing is the very things I did when we first met. I'm a confident man, I'm funny and just tease her like I'm getting to know her as a new person.

 

The toughest thing is to not think about her or want her 24/7.

 

Luckily, I have a lot of friends and interests that can keep me busy if I fell the obsession coming on. However, if she wants to get together, I'm ready.

[alphamale]

I have been acting cool. Actually, what I've been doing is the very things I did when we first met.

the above is the key SAILYNN... be aloof and somewhat indifferent and only let her into 10% of your life for now. Make her work to get you back otherwise you value will be zero.

[Sailynn]

That's my motto....

 

ABB, Always be busy.

ABF, Always be flirting.

 

A couple of times she tried to be a little negative towards me, such as:

 

She'd say, "Are you a health nut now?" since I've worked out become trim and slim. I respond by saying, "Thanks for noticing." or "Glad you like it."

 

She'd say, "You just love doing a million things at once." I'd say, "So that's why you like me so much." HA!

 

I think if it very powerful to take something she says that has a negative connotation and turn it around so I view it as a compliment. It's just disarming. It's very powerful and takes the communication to a totally different level.

 

If she suggests a particular restaurant, I don't readily agree. I state what my preference is. It is proving to be very powerful and shows my worth as well.

 

By occasionally busting on her, it seems to be driving her to become very interested in me again.

[Sailynn]

Yesterday, my ex-gf and I had a luncheon picnic. Just a couple of sanwiches on a blanket in a park. We sat and talked and laughed.

 

Throughout the picnic, she would lean over and kiss me on the cheek. Six times she did this, but I did not kiss her back. She took many opportunities to touch me, pat my knee and such.

 

She told me she had been thinking a lot about me. I asked her what she was thinking about. She didn't know what it meant. Anyway, I think she's enjoying our time together. I'm trying to stay cool.