johnsd Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 Ok, so I got to know through social media 2 weeks ago that my ex was engaged, although it didnt hit me hard, but its still on my mind since then, even though I am married myself. I dont feel jealous(honestly) just feel weird and curious to know whats going on. (apologies for the long post, I just need to vent ) A little background, we were together in post grad college, we were together for 3 years, she came out a 5 year serious relationship (with 1 year gap), and was "partying" a lot to get over her ex, (which continued to happen behind my back during the first year we were together, which she confessed to and apologized for , so I let it go.). I wasnt completely her type, because she was into white blond guys , and I was of Indian descent, and she had a very low opinion of south asians before she met me. But still we stayed together, because she was also into people who are into science (she was a bit judgmental of people in this regard) dont want to toot my horn here, but I was/am working in research. after 3 years we decided to break up because of incompatibility not because we didnt love each other, and I moved to another city for work, but we were still seeing each other everywhere and talking daily during the week. We had a fight and broke off contact (like blocked and everything), 2 months later I had somethings at her place so sent a msg to her friend with a courier coupon to give it to her so she can post my things. She trick called me using online service with no caller ID, and sounded a bit emotional/teary, as the conversation continued she said she never loved me, I wasnt her type, and that our relationship was just a fling and she has found the love of her life, thats where the conversation ended, later I found out she was going out with a guy which was an actual younger model of me, same ethnicity similar look, even same grad college back in India. I was heart broken, like literally down the drain , had to take more than a week off from work to get out of shock. Fast forward 2 years later (to last month), I saw her engagement announcement to another Indian guy on social media, so I got curious (not jealous, honest) did some social media stalking and found out, she had broken up just 6 months before, and her fiancee was a close friend of her now ex. Not only that, (and I dont want to sound snooty here), he isnt a post grad or career oriented (which was one of her turn ons). I am weirded out. and extremely curious, whats going on ? Obviously I wont contact her to find out. (PS: When I got married, she tried contacting me multiple times, but she was blocked.) Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 What's going on is that she is engaged to be married and it has nothing to do with you. Concentrate on your own marriage and stop Facebook stalking this woman. It's not for you to care what she does with her life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johnsd Posted July 15, 2019 Author Share Posted July 15, 2019 What's going on is that she is engaged to be married and it has nothing to do with you. Concentrate on your own marriage and stop Facebook stalking this woman. It's not for you to care what she does with her life. Fair point, I wasnt stalking in the first place, both the guys she is invloved with are in my social media circle,thats why they came up, and I blocked both of them as soon as I found out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johnsd Posted July 15, 2019 Author Share Posted July 15, 2019 Fair point, I wasnt stalking in the first place, both the guys she is invloved with are in my social media circle,thats why they came up, and I blocked both of them as soon as I found out. And seeing those pics brought back the wounds of the past. And the only way to get through is to talk it out and thats what I am trying to do here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 And seeing those pics brought back the wounds of the past. And the only way to get through is to talk it out and thats what I am trying to do here. Fair enough, but she shouldn't matter to you anymore. Your wife matters now. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 OK cards on the table, what are you feelings about this? Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 Someone advised you to forget about this girl and focus on your wife and I don't agree with that. If it were that easy then you wouldn't be here. Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted July 26, 2019 Share Posted July 26, 2019 Someone advised you to forget about this girl and focus on your wife and I don't agree with that. If it were that easy then you wouldn't be here. Why shouldn't he focus on his own marriage instead of dwelling on something in the past that is no longer important? Link to post Share on other sites
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